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Air Conditioning For Everyone!


Rascus: the Dude

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In a few minutes, I'll probably post a very short Redwall fanfic, inspired by KopakaX's "Silent Shadow" and Brian Jaques' "Mossflower".

 

...waits...

 

*time freezes* *tink*

 

*time unfreezes* *splosh*

 

A Short Story

(Note: this story is placed in the

Redwall universe, so all the characters are animals.)

 

The stranger walked though the forest. Passing into a clearing, the moon come out from behind a cloud, revealing a cloaked figure all in black, his hood overshadowed his face.

He had no name he could remember, nor did he care. All he cared about was completing jobs that he took. He had nicknames like “The Grim Reaper” and other ominous names like that on account of the jobs he took as a mercenary. He had learned that it paid well as a professional assassin and people would pay big money to get rid of someone that was “in the way”.

And he was perfectly suited for the job. Being able to move completely silently and sneak into the most fortified of places, not to mention his ability as an excellent swordsman, he was top class merc, therefore, he took only the highest payers.

As he walked along, any other creature would never have noticed him.

 

After a few minutes, the fort came in view, to others, they would have been taken aback by the strength of it, but for him, it couldn’t be easier if they opened the gates wide open and stood in a row waiting for him to slice their heads off.

At either side of the main gate were two stoat guards, close to dosing off until the approach of the stranger startled them.

Standing up, they crossed their spears in front of him, blocking his path. “Who goes there?” said one of the guards in a gruff tone.

“I do.”

“What do you mean? What’s your name?”

Silence.

“If you don’t tell me who your are and why you’re here, I’ll have to report you to the Queen”

Silence.

The two guards moved towards him, pointing their spears, but before they took two paces, they were sent to The Dark Forest, encouraged by daggers that seemed to appear in their throats.

Taking the two, he pulled his daggers out of their throats and cleaned them, then hid the bodies in some bushes by the road.

Then, reaching into his cloak, he pulled out a pair of gloves with little hooks on them and fitted them over his paws, and proceeded to scale the wall like a spider using the hooks to catch onto tiny crevasses.

Once at the top, he found a weasel asleep on the battlement, obviously a guard. The stranger shook his head, “Pitiful” he muttered, then he took the liberty of “deepening” the guard’s sleep and leaped lightly to the ground on the other side.

Looking around, he found himself in a courtyard. There was only one door in the wall, so he assumed that was his objective.

Slowly turning the knob he found that it was locked. Looking around, he reached into his cloak and pulled out an oddly shaped dagger and stuck it in the keyhole. Jiggling it around he heard a soft click, and then opening the door a crack, he slipped inside, closing it behind him.

He was now in a long hallway, lit only by one torch. Looking down the hallway, he could dimly make out a staircase. Smiling, he walked over to it, extinguishing the torch as he went.

At the end of the stairs was another hallway. Walking down it, he scanned the doors, looking for something that showed importance, something to give him a clue as to which was the right one. At the end of the hallway, there was a door with a banner on it with “Queen’s Chamber” written on it: this was the place.

Slowly opening the door, the stranger slipped inside and walked over to the bed were the wildcat queen slept. Kneeling by the bedside table, he took from his cloak, a small jar, in which was a fine powder.

On the table was a cup of water, into which he poured the contents of the jar.

He had watched her for a week, and every evening a servant came in and filled a cup of water for the morning, to quench her thirst when she woke up.

She would not last till noon with the poison he had concocted.

Retracing his steps he made his way back onto the wall he tucked the weasel under his arm and crawled back down to the other side.

Hiding the weasel with the other two guards, he vanished into the forest. And when the occupants of the fort awoke, the only signs that they had been visited by The Grim Reaper where the three missing guards.

 

The End

 

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