While I'm off for awhile, I'll take the time to make a few customer service things... good things. Things that we don't have.

Things that I would love to sell if we, you know got more.

Guess what we don't. And even when we do we don't.

Can you guess which items they are?

If you guessed Nintendo Wii you'd be right! I might spare you from becoming a tasty morsel for my good friend Mr. Kanohi Dragon.

Now can you guess the other one?

It's the converter box. Also known as that box that will let your TV run off of an antenna. That's the cheap Kohaku definition. Cheap as in it'll cost you $5.00 to me.

Let's look at some examples, shall we? Don't answer with a no. It'll be hazardous to your health. Probably.

Kohaku: How may I help?

Customer #1: Do you have the Wii?

Kohaku: No.

Customer #1: When will you get them in?

Kohaku: When Nintendo ships them to us.

Customer #1: And that is?

Kohaku: Weekdays.

Customer #1: Could you be more specific?

Kohaku: Nope. I don't know myself.

Customer #1: How useless.

Now then before you call up a store ask yourself this, "Do they ever have the Wii?"

Answer is no, because the only way you'll get one is to stand up, go to your automobile, start said vehicle, and drive to the nearest store which sells the Wii. By the time you call they'll probably be gone, and if they aren't we can't hold them for you. You're an executive of a huge company? Too bad. NO Wii FOR YOU!

Now then the item which we get more calls about than the Wii is that little annoying converter box.

Kohaku: How may I help?

Customer #2: Do you have the Converter Box?

Kohaku: Yes, we carry it, but we are sold out.

Customer #2: When will you get them in?

Kohaku: When the warehouse ships them to us.

Customer #2: And that is?

Kohaku: When they aren't out at the warehouse.

Customer #2: Could you be more specific?

Kohaku: If we are lucky, three days to a week.

Customer #2: How pathetic.

So, usually after the billionth call, I could probably snap. Except replace probably with will.

Lucky Caller #7: Do you have a...

Kohaku: No. We have nothing.

Lucky Caller #7: Uh... that was..

Kohaku: Can I transfer you to our complaints manager?

Unlucky Caller #7: Yes.

*Glee*

*Warps Kanohi Dragon to Super Lucky Caller #7's house*

Kanohi Dragon devours Lucky Number 7 for 14,893 points of damage.

Kanohi Dragon 1, People 0

At this point... things started getting... broken. And I needed help... something in the store.

Customer #-8: I want a PS3!

Kohaku: Sony is evil!

Kohaku: Get him Ponchi!

Ponchi sucks the life out of Customer #-8 for 12,890 points of damage. Customer #-8 was defeated by Ponchi.

KD 1, Ponchi 1, people 0

A few of the other associates started looking at me funny. I suppose the maniacal cackling wasn't helping.

One right after another people got fed.

At this point I couldn't stop.

Kohaku: Metroid!

NintendoFan: WHERE?!

Ponchi sucks the life out of NintendoFan for 19,825 points of damage. NintendoFan was defeated by Ponchi.

Kohaku: Right there.

That one made me giggle.

KD 3, Ponchi 4, people 0

Back to stalking the prey...

Patience.

Patience.

Forget this!

I then found the nearest person with horrible handwriting.

Kohaku: YOUR REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER!

Kohaku: This will teach you to have illegible handwriting!

Kanohi Dragon hits person for 26,839 points of damage. Person is defeated by Kanohi Dragon.

KD 12, Ponchi 12, people 0.

Woohoo! And the people kept on coming.

I was still sane.

Probably.

Kohaku: You're too tall!

Kohaku: Ponchi DESTROY!

Ponchi sucks the life out of TallGuy for 43,009 points of damage. TallGuy was defeated by Ponchi.

KD 18, Ponchi 23, people 0.

I noticed around number 62 I might have gone just a tad overboard.

Kohaku: Your name is too short!

Kohaku: Ponchi! I choose you!

Ash: You have got to be kidding me.

Ponchi hits Ash for 14,937 points of damage. Ash was defeated by Ponchi.

KD 29, Ponchi 33, people 0

Possible loss of girlfriend... 1.

It also occurred around 73.

Kohaku: Your blog has words in it!

Kohaku: This will show you!

Arch-Angel: Uh what?

Kanohi Dragon hits Arch-Angel for 23,839 points of damage during lunch. Arch-Angel is defeated by Kanohi Dragon.

KD 35, Ponchi 38, people 0

Blogs I'm no longer allowed to visit... 1.

It was lunch somewhere in the universe when this was made.

Probably.

The next day I awoke in a Landmaster... with a stapler in my pocket.

Don't ask.

I totally did not use a Landmaster to ruin your garden.

Quiet you. *Glares at Ponchi*

[No people were hurt in this blog entry. Arch-Angel volunteered to be fed too. ]

Kohaku