There is a wildfire burning about 2 miles from here, most likely started by lightning or fireworks, I can see all the smoke from my house. Dangit, now everybody here is going to be all sensitive about lighting off my pyrotechnic supply. Oh well, I am not gonna hold back just because of some lousy wildfire. I have doused the perimeter of our house with the garden hose and I take every precaution possible.

Besides, how can I deny the kid on the holiday?