I figured I'd talk about two experiences I've had at the same restaurant.

The second is revenge for the first.

Anyway, to put it simply, we ask for the check. We wait. For 45 minutes. I don't get it to be honest, the check is when they get their money, they should be anxious to get it out.

The next time I go there, when a waiter asks me what I want, I say the following, which I burned word-for-word to memory;

"I would like a list of choices of premade partially organic flavoured nutrient formations places upon a round ceramic tile, this list bound in leather with a cheap plastic covering over it. I then wish to order my nutrient formation and consume it along with the liquid of my choice, so that I may continue living since, being a meatbag, I must abide to the fact that if I do not consume enough nutrients from these flavoured nutrient formations I will have to either consume flavourless raw nutrients in the shape of an oval or die, as is the case with water. After this I will request another leather-bound object called a "check", leaving green paper and molded circular metal here as payment. delivery of this should be rather fast since you are allowing me to consume your flavoured nutrient formations merely so you can collect my green paper and molded circular metal. You have been selected by this establishment as a payed slave who is given a portion of this green paper and circular molded metal, and they have sent you to bring me these items. Please begin with the first of the leather-bound objects."

Amazingly he got it right. Everything went great that trip.