Pluto: A Memorial
Entry posted by T-Hybrid
719 views
Space nuts, science enthusiasts, and just overall geeks were rocked today by the latest news from the science community. In case you haven't heard it yet, Pluto is no longer a planet.
Now now, take your time. It's harsh news for all us geezers who grew up remembering the classic mnemonic device: "My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas"... but changes happen everyday. We'll just have to gather our strength and move on. Pluto would've wanted it that way.
For me, this marks the end to so many fond memories. For one, Pluto single-handedly won me the sixth grade science quiz competition. Well, I should say it indirectly won it for me. After taking a 50 question science quiz (I told you, I'm a nerd...it's what we do for fun), the teacher added on two tie-breakers. The first I don't recall, but the second I do.
"Which planet is currently furthest from the sun?"
Catch that? The key word in the question, "currently", got me thinking. Well, I've always known Pluto was last...but wasn't there something about the planets occasionally not being in that order? Then it hit me, on an episode of Beakman's World a few days prior, they had talked about how Neptune's orbit sometimes carries it past Pluto. Which means that the question was most likely a trick.
Well, apparently I was the only one who picked up on it, because I learned that it had come down to that very tiebreaking question. Everybody else has said Pluto (when you don't know, or aren't thinking, you sometimes go with the gut reaction). I don't remember what I won. But I won it. All thanks to Pluto.
But that's just my experience. What of everybody else? Surely now some new mnemonic will be needed to remember the planetary order? Eager mothers the world over can't just serve us 'nine.'
So, I propose the folowing:
"My Vicious Elephant Melvin Jousted Seventy Unique Ninjas"
Sure, it doesn't quite roll off the tounge...but it's very bizarre. And to a kid, who knows. I know I'll probably never forget it. And besides, I was never a fan of notion that mothers would over indulge their kids by giving them nine of anything. That's just poor parenting. This way, kids will remember the planetary order, and hear a story about an exciting battle between good and evil (Though I'm not sure at this point which is which).
Furthermore, to aid in the process of overcoming this incredible loss...I, T-Hybrid, have taken it upon myself to gather up some other well known Plutos. Hopefully, us Pluto fans will be able to look to these figures as a potential replacement for our now Dwarf planet.
Pros: Strong leader, great role model for women, fancy dresser
Cons: May or may not have died
Pluto the Dog
Pros: Good natured, obedient, popular with both men and women
Cons: Unlike fellow canine Goofy...is unable to grasp the concept of pants
Pluto the God
Pros: Omnipotent, all-knowing, immortal
Cons: God of the Underworld (not exactly a good thing)
Pluto Nash
Pros: Features the guy who voiced Donkey
Cons: About as funny as the original Pluto.
So, as you're lying in bed tonight, trying to overcome what is certainly going to be the big news for the next few weeks...remember that though we may have lost one Pluto, there are at least four others watching your back.
14 Comments
Recommended Comments