The Lego Bionicle Story: Part 1-2,Part 3-4,Part 5

Gar, my worst story EVER! Read on to understand why...

Bio: In the Bionicle world, the Great Beings has messed up, and the Toa were doomed. They planned on sending help in the form of Throwbots to aid the Toa against their fight against Makuta and his Rahi, but they wouldn't arrive in time. So they sent messages to humans, and a bunch went through the Bermuda Triangle and arrived on Mata-Nui. There, a collection of humans, including Johnny Thunder, allies with the Toa, Turaga, and Matoran to help them defend the island. Meanwhile, the evil Axillion (Thunder's nemesis) also discovers Mata-Nui and allies with Makuta. So there is a massive Rahi battle in Le-Koro, where the humans help out a lot, and then the Slizers arrive, and begin to aid the Toa as they collect the last of their Kanohi. It ends at Chapter 32, where I just gave up posting because nobody was interested.

Thoughts: And I can tell why no one was interested… the story was badly written and overly complicated. It was my second BZP epic, but I wrote it first, before I even discovered BZP. It had so many problems in it. I thought it was cool because it included a bunch of Mini-figure characters, Throwbot characters, and Bionicle characters. Of the mini-figures (humans) they were my custom characters, who had names borrowed from Johnny Thunder themes and the Animorphs series. They were also part of this weak storyline where Johnny Thunder was fighting against this evil mastermind named Axillion (named from Aximili from Animorphs). It was badly described and kinda hard to follow, so obviously a new reader couldn’t really relate to something form my imagination. The Throwbots weren’t as well thought out as they were in my newer Slizer epic, and the Toa’s personalities often differed from their official ones. The main complaint I got was a gender mix-up with Kopaka… I just assumed that the white character was female and used him/her that way in the story. Many people disagreed, and it took me a while to really get a grasp on Kopaka’s true personality.

The storyline itself wasn’t too great… everything was very simplistic. The main enemies, the Rahi, were always described as showing up in numbers greater than any ever seen before. That worked for the first few battles… but then it got outrageous when I used it again and again. The battles, while cool in my mind, were weakly described in the story, and seemed to involve characters shooting guns or shouting out witty comments. And all the dialogue was kinda featureless… I have certainly improved since this story. Which is a good thing.

There were other problems… I posted the whole think single-spaced in the lowest sized font… I find it hard to read now, but I thought back then that the regular size made it too large! I’m sure there were some days where I quadruple posted chapters (back before that one-chapter-a-day rule). Plus, my story topic was always plagued with people posting it in rather than the review topic… I’m sure I got more posts there than in the review topic. Being a newby, I didn’t completely understand the rules, and I’m sure I broke many (like posting 5 times in a row in my review topic). This story, even more than The Final Alliance, threw me away from writing stories on BZP. I started out writing expecting that everybody should be following me, the author, very closely, and love all my work. Now I understand that’s not how reviewers work for newer epics. If they like it, they’ll post… if they have nothing to say, then they won’t post. If they have nothing to say but they post spam, then I get angry, and we all lose.

Well, that’s one story that I feel ashamed of. It is my worst story I have ever posted on BZP (maybe not written… I have a few bad ones that will never see the light of day again). So now that I’m done dissing it, you can either read some of it (LOL!) or think about checking out some of my other work that is so much better.

Review A Lego Bionicle Story (Or Don't)