Vader, you are so, so right; and on so many levels.

I remember my first summer home from college and how hollow it seemed. My hometown used to be my personal stomping ground & arena for fun, but somehow it had grayed & lost its luster in the months I'd been away. (Not to mention that my first summer home from college was the summer I lost my dad in an automobile accident.) (To follow up on that last sentence: You never would have convinced me on that fateful day that some fifteen years later that event would ever be relegated as a parenthetical comment to a larger idea, but there it is.)

But I experienced the same phenomenon. Friends who were even still in town and hadn't already moved on were hard to get ahold of. The bright ones went to college like me and many didn't come home for the summer, and the dim ones had skipped college and had gotten jobs at the local hardware store or restaurants and just weren't available for hang-out time. What happened to my youth?

But I can offer this ray of hope, Vader. I learned some years later, that those friends were just passing acquaintances. The true friends (of which I have a precious collection) don't require constant maintenance or care to flourish. Even though life and time seem be driving a wedge between you and your childhood playmates, when the smoke clears there will be a select few figures still standing. Those friends, you'll find, can be apart from you for years on end, and when there is time, you'll meet up and pick up right where you left off as if no time had passed.

For me, those are the friendships I cherish most. In fact, I think I might take a minute and call some of those guys this afternoon.

I guess what I'm saying, Vader, is your fear isn't without tangible merit, but that trip to college will be a cleansing for your social life. People it washes away were flotsam, and those who remain you can be assured were your truest friends. You can go ahead and put their names in your address book in ink, not pencil.

I believe I can relate to this.

I haven't just gone from high school to college. I've gone from high school to university IT to teacher studies to business translating. I've been around, and I've made friends everywhere I went, which I thought was (and still is) something special.

As you can see, I've moved around and moved on quite a bit. I hardly ever see the guys from high school anymore. They were the same guys I went to university with, and ended up hanging out at their places more than studying. Was that a bad thing? For my studies, certainly. But it was a good way to say goodbye to them, because all we have are good memories, and we get along just like we used when we meet, even if it's only twice or three times a year. Most of them have jobs now, and are ready to turn their year-long relationships to the next step soon. I'm still studying and single, but that doesn't create a wall between us. These are friendships that don't break, because they've been the longest in the making. We grew up together, and that creates a bond that cannot be severed so easily. Is it hard to realize that there isn't enough time as there was before for us to meet all the time? Sure it is. But we just enjoy our time together more, enjoy telling each other stories of what we've experienced during the time spent apart, listening to new developments in each other's lives or plans for the future. It's different, and no, it won't ever be the same again, but it works. The easiest way to deal with it, is to look forward to those moments and not to regret anything.

Of course, I've made other friends at other schools and other youth movements, and I spend most of my time with people from my home town now, people I've only met over the past six years. Rather than my high school buddies, who lived all over the region, these are people who live close by and who I get to see every week. I'm not trying to replace my high school friends with new ones. I'm just enjoying the time I'm spending with other people, knowing that eventually many of them will move on as well. It may not happen at all, but any friendship is worth treasuring, whether you see these people every day or only once a year.

Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes, of course. When I remember my best friends and know how difficult it is to meet up with them, I certainly feel some pain. They've got their own studies, significant others or music carreers, their own dreams to follow. But I know that I'm not gone from their hearts, and neither are they from mine. And that gives me strength enough to be patient. Because I know that I'll always see them again.

I've seen fire and I've seen rain

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend

But I always thought that I'd see you again

- James Taylor

I'm only a Freshmen in highschool, so I truly can't relate to what you say, DV. But I'm sure I can understand it to some extent.

Again, I've never had such an experience myself, but I can understand. When I went on a vacation to Mexico this past Easter break, I even found myself completely out of whack and having a hard time to adjust to a normal life when we returned. I believe you know about that, back on TGS.

Now take that feeling, which I'm guessing is similar to yours...and multiply it from a week to an entire semester in college. The thought of such a change is almost mind-boggeling to me.

And now, you get a heart.

<3

Thank you for your insight...I am apprenhesive of life after college, even after highschool. Yet it is inevitable, so one must prepare while they still can. Enjoying your child/teenage years is important, but it is important to not get caught up in them too much as well so that adulthood does not pull the rug from underneath your feet.