Yo Big Man, where's the throne? *plunks tank on the counter and attempts to bribe with dashing good looks*

~Sidorak The Hunter

A part of me just died inside. And yet, another part is somewhat amused.

I can kill the other part.

Have people really called you those things?

How about dawg, C-dude, the MAN, or the Tsar?

I have no idea what a 'vato' is, but I want one!

I say you should print this out and stick it on the wall of the gas station. Doing so will probably get you fired, but then you can always take them to court for infringement of your freedom of speech rights.

So, Boss, where's that diner near here. It's called like....Johnny's place or something. I dunno. You know where it is?

-Neku-

~Please do not call me any of the following in greeting or leaving: Buddy, Parter, Boss, Brother, Big Man, Youngster, Amigo, Compadre, Vato, Essay, or Hombre. A simple SIR will suffice.

Sir? I've never gotten called 'Sir' by any library patrons.

~Please do not throw a ton of dirty, sticky change on my counter top and proceed to stare at me as you wish me to count it.

Yeuch. Sticky? How?

~If paying with a debit or credit card, please SPECIFY which type of transaction you would like, rather than have me ask over and over.

I've never had anyone ask me this..

~When punching in your debit pin number, please do not proceed to shake, slam or yank on the debit pinpad when it beeps at you for inputting your digits too fast or incorrectly.

Must be nasty for the poor pin pad.

~When purchasing items that require photo ID, please do not be offended that I ask for it, or give me the LOOK.

The LOOK? You mean that "What-you-think-I'm-a-criminal?" look?

~When asking for the location of our restroom, please do not refer to it as the can, the john, the throne or some of the more vulgar terms for said restroom.

People have done this? Seriously?

~When asking for directions, please do not just say that place or act as if I have lived in the area my entire life.

This is a problem everywhere.

~Please do not attempt to bribe me, be it with your good looks, cash, business offers, merchandise or family members.

I wish people would bribe me to find books.

Wait...

Family members?

~Please do not purchase an item less than 10 dollars with only a 100 dollar bill between midnight and 8 AM.

That's just common sense- like the gas station attendant who got scammed with the George Bush $200 bill.

~When filling up gasoline, please do not expect me to know which number your vehicle is parked at.

You mean attendants DON'T have magical extra senses?

~If you are in need of propane, please do not bring your tank into the store and place it upon my counter top.

Bad for the counter, yes?

~If you have made a mess, CLEAN IT UP yourself.

People must be lulled by the cleanup crews in grocery stores.

~Please do not bring in a huge pile of scratch/lottery tickets to be validated unless they are all winning tickets.

If they were all winning tickets, that person would probably be either insanely luck or a forger.

~Please do not place a large number of items upon my counter top, then proceed to walk away to shop futher when I have a line of customers behind you.

People do this?

~When purchasing wireless minutes, phone cards or other types of telephone related items, please do not expect me to know your carrier and/or expect me to add minutes to your phone.

.....

~If you have a complaint of any type, please SPECIFY the name of the employee that you were given trouble with, rather than proceed to belittle me.

Never seen that happen before.

That's just common sense- like the gas station attendant who got scammed with the George Bush $200 bill.

That's just common sense- like the gas station attendant who got scammed with the George Bush $200 bill.

Lolwut? How could this happen?

 

XD @ entry.

 

BtB

Guy makes bill. Purchases $10 of stuff with it. Gives stupid cashier bill. Cashier accepts. Walks off with $190. Has flat tire. Calls 911 for them to fix it. Is arrested.

"WE LIKE BROCCOLI"

I totally agree with everything listed.

Kohaku