1000 comments in the blog until I delete a bunch again

But to celebrate, here's a little chart, BZPfied. I'm sure you've seen one of these before. For the first one, take the month you joined BZP in. For the second, take the day you joined on. For the third, take the first letter of your username. And get your sentence.

January - I was slapped by

February - I punched

March - I was roundhouse kicked by

April - I laughed at

May - I was hugged by

June - I yelled "YOUR FAT" at

July - I sat on

August - I was fed to a shark by

September - I ate cake with

October - I married

November - I tried to strangle

December - I watched

1 - an overly friendly lobster

2 - Spitty

3 - a cow

4 - some dude named Geoff

5 - Homiecron

6 - a muffin

7 - Chuck Norris

8 - a leopard

9 - an aerobics instructor

10 - a wastebasket

11 - Uncle Phil

12 - something weird

13 - my ex-girlfriend

14 - Spitty's back porch

15 - a llama in a car

16 - my friend

17 - some other dude named Geoff

18 - a German tourist

19 - my spleen

20 - Hapori Tohu

21 - Hapori Dume

22 - Hapori Kim

23 - Kopaka

24 - a burn-stuffer

25 - Taipu

26 - Algernon

27 - a dumb person

28 - a criminal

29 - Bob the Builder

30 - Steve

31 - a planet

A - and I loved it.

B - who gave me a dirty look.

C - but I slipped and fell on a squid.

D - and I lost weight.

E - and I caused a civil war.

F - and it smelled bad.

G - and I couldn't get enough of it.

H - and I ate him.

I - and I insulted him.

J - and I thought how cliched it was.

K - and I smacked him.

L - and suddenly I wanted some food.

M - and we watched a movie.

N - and I ran over a squirrel.

O - and it tasted funny.

P - and I cried.

Q - and I wrote a book about it.

R - , who wrote poetry.

S - and 0385kkmgljgjxo8gjlij lol

T - and my foot got stuck.

U - and I dropped my cupcake.

V - and it blew up.

W - and I yelled something about Snakes on a Plane.

X - and I licked an ice cream cone.

Y - and I laughed.

Z - and I drove a car through a wall.

# - and I hit myself.

Add punctuation or him/her/it and that/who in case nothing makes sense