Today I decided to officially stop writing my four-year-old comedy with the perpetually misspelled title.

Officially stop writing. I'd already stopped writing this July, but it was still left open that maybe I'd continue.

However, there is something I'd still like to share, and that was the premise I had planned for a sequel to MR, after I finished the current plot arc in MR (which now, I'll never finish).

It's not really a sequel, more just starting over with a new topic, new plot, same characters and setting. If you want to read it it's included in my farewell chapter, here. I'll put it in this entry, anyway.

Let's try the "extract" tag. Click the "more" button if you want to read the whole thing (it's pretty long)

So here's the premise:

This plot capitalizes off of my characterization of Panrahk as being the sort of geeky, awkward, uncool Rahkshi. He’s generally nice and meek, which are obviously terrible characteristics for an evil Rahkshi to have. To round off the cast:

Lerahk, being green, is of course the prankster.

Guurahk isn’t much better than Panrahk, but the other Rahkshi still treat him as “cooler” and he’s usually less awkward.

Vorahk is da man, yo.

Turahk is the one with the stuffed animals. Sort of childish, petulant, but because he’s still mean and nasty the other Rahkshi he’s respected.

I don’t think I developed Kurahk much.

Makuta is… Makuta. Hard to describe, probably because I know him best as a character.

This is more of a summary of the pilot than a plot premise, but it should set up a situation with plenty of room for the plot to expand in whatever direction the author wishes.

Starts off a normal day in the Mangaia, when suddenly the Rahkshi start complaining of a terrible smell. Panrahk seems to be the only one who doesn’t mind.

“Ahh, it smells like fresh cut spring flowers, with a touch of lavender.”

“I know! Isn’t it disgusting?”

Turahk, holding his nose, goes to investigate, to find Lerahk wearing a gas mask and writing in purple gel pen on a piece of pink perfumed stationery.

It turns out he plans to write a hate letter to Lariska and sign it “Panrahk.” Because of his weird Rahkshi logic, he’s writing it in purple on pink paper and whatnot, since, to a Rahkshi, what could be more terrible than perfume and lavender? Unfortunately, his Rahkshi intelligence is sort of getting in his way.

“Deer… Lareeska. Yew… arrr… a… hey Turahk, what’s that word?”

“What word?”

“Starts with a ‘b’… five letters…”

“Bag?”

“Five letters! It means a dog or something…”

“Hmm…”

“It’s on the tip of my tongue…”

“Bingo?”

“Yes! That’s it! Yew… arrr… a… bingo!”

What results is presumably a hate letter, but it’s a little difficult to tell, and even Turahk and Lerahk realize this. They mail it anyway.

Now we are treated to a scene of The Shadowed One sitting on his throne at the Dark Hunter headquarters. I don’t keep up with the storyline anymore, so I have no clue what’s going on with the Dark Hunters. TSO could be dead, for all I know. But we’ll forge on anyway.

Here we have Lariska take on the role of a spoiled “daddy’s girl,” with TSO of course being the daddy. So she walks in with the note from “Panrahk” in hand, complaining of the disrespectful way Makuta’s minions were treating her, and how it was an offense to her honor, etc. etc. and of course by now the reader is thinking “stop whining, you bingo.”

TSO, true to his role, indulges her, but informs her that daddy has an important trip to take care of because of a border dispute somewhere or other, I dunno, make up some problem that the Dark Hunter leader would have to take care of. So he can’t directly help her get back at Makuta and the Rahkshi, but he leaves DH headquarters and all its faculty and facilities to Lariska to use while he’s gone.

Of course, true to their role as Dark Hunters, Lariska tries to kill TSO on her way out. It fails, and TSO scolds her, again, like a daddy going “now, now” to his spoiled daughter. Lariska coyly says “I’ll get you one day, daddy” and whatever, so on and so forth, she leaves.

She sends her bodyguard/thug to the Mangaia to contact Panrahk. He’s a huge guy, bigger and buffer than Krekka and stupider as well, with a ridiculous Russ-erman-olish-ese accent. As for a name, I dunno. Drop a bunch of rocks down the stairs and write down what it sounds like.

I had it planned so that the humor of this scene comes from the way he’s beating up and threatening Panrahk like a Mafiya thug threatening a dangerous witness, when he’s really delivering what appears to be a cordial invitation to dinner from Lariska.

Turahk and Lerahk, by their weird Rahkshi logic again, think that the hate mail must have had the opposite effect. Turahk reasons thus:

“Well, since Lariska is evil, just like us… maybe she likes evil things. Maybe writing hate mail is like writing a love letter for evil people. Hey! I’ll bet she’s really in love with Panrahk right now because of us! She’s asking him on a fancy date!”

Their previous prank of course was only a prank, and they didn’t really harbor any ill intentions for their brother. So now they recruit the other Rahkshi and Makuta and plan to help Panrahk have the most success on his date as possible.

Panrahk is confused, but because of the way his brothers and father are acting concerning the invitation, he too thinks that it’s seriously a date.

Meanwhile, Lariska of course in reality wants to kill Panrahk, only in style (she’s a Dark Hunter after all). Hence the dinner invitation.

So hilarity ensues in many ways. For one thing, the ridiculous methods the Rahkshi and Makuta employ to get him ready for the date. Naturally they’re completely wrong on what makes good attire for a formal dinner invitation, what good manners are, how to act, etc. etc.

When the date actually happens, at the DH headquarters, Panrahk is of course acting all nice and polite and trying to hide his extreme nervousness while trying to impress Lariska. Lariska is meanwhile quite cool and collected, however she has to constantly prevent her bodyguard from revealing the plan, since he keeps forgetting he’s supposed to be acting like it’s a real date and continues to threaten and bully Panrahk.

“Here, have a seat, Panrahk.”

“Oh, sure, than—”

“YOU HEAR DA LADY! HAS SEAT! NOW! OR ELSE YOU GONNA MISSING FINGERS AND TEEF SOON!”

Meanwhile, Makuta and the Rahkshi aren’t confident enough that they’ve taught Panrahk well in preparation for the date (for good reason; they didn’t) so they’ve secretly followed him to the DH lair and are doing their best to make the dinner go as smoothly as possible (obviously this means they screw everything up even worse). At the same time, they have to keep from being discovered.

And furthermore could it be…? Panrahk’s clumsiness, meekness, and valiant attempts to impress Lariska… she finds it… almost… cute. MY GOODNESS! IS THIS ACTUALLY ROMANCE? The plot thickens!

This is basically all I have planned up to. The entire situation with the letter and the reaction and the plot and the date of course is not meant to take place in one, two, or even four chapters. This was supposed to be something that could go on for a while, despite describing mostly the events of just one evening. If enough is going on, an entire book can take place in just one day, after all.

Well, hopefully someone was amused by this.