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I Have Problems


Kex

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Yes, I do. Luckily I also have some solutions.

 

I've been making money for over a year now. My job rules. Alright, so I'm lying through my teeth. But it's either Publix or a fast food joint (Burger King would be the closest) and I'd rather not be flipping burgers. But who knows -- maybe Than can tell me that it's not as bad as it seems. Regardless, fast food employees don't get tips, while I do. And believe me, you come in contact with some of the more wealthy people. And around the holidays? Go to work. Hurricane coming? Go to work. I made some big bucks the other week, because there was a tropical storm heading in my direction. It hit pretty close, but didn't do much of anything. I was actually at work during the "worst part". Weren't many customers around, but oh well. Not to mention I got two days off school for a storm that did next to nothing. Made money and chilled with no homework. Sweet deal.

 

Back on the topic of making money: I put most of my earnings directly into my bank account. I have a large chunk saved, as there will be many a thing that will need payment in the future. Things like a car, insurance, college, and future luxuries. All things that are never too early to start saving for. What I normally do is put every other check in the bank. (I get paid every Thursday.) I end up with large amounts of cash in my wallet, and I put some of that money lingering, burning holes in my pocket, into the bank as well. This has been a pretty smooth process until about a month ago. I've been buying stuff like crazy. And by stuff I mean music. CDs. Albums. That stuff. In the past month alone, I bought nine CDs. Nine. Plus a few other misc. songs from iTunes. It's a lot. I really need to stop. I mean, you should be able to enjoy the money you make and spend it on things you like, but this is a bit extreme... It's over $100 in music. Which isn't too much, considering I'm making about $80 a week, even with school and everything now. But I'm kinda torn, because I obviously want the stuff, but I want my bank account to continue growing at the same time.

 

Growing. That's what my music collection has been doing. In fact, it has now outgrew my measly 2 GB iPod Nano. I now have all these new CDs and I can't put them on my iPod... Ugg. It's no fun. But then I hear about these new iPods comng out soon... Next week, I believe. One of the new iPod's is going to be $250, 30 GB, capable of playing movies, new iPod games, brighter screen, and have a longer battery life. Am I gonna buy it? Yes. Yes I am.

 

But now I'm going to have a nice little black 2 GB iPod Nano sitting here, in very good condition. I decided that I'm going to sell it. Not not just a normal "sell". Oh no. It's going to be auctioned: auctioned right here on BZPower. That's right: you can own Kex's iPod! I'll have pictures and all that stuff when the time comes. So if you're interested... Look out.

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You've got some problems, definitely. Fortunately, I think I can help you. Once you've got enough for your new iPod, start sending your spending-cash to me. It shall be out of your hands, removing your temptation to spend it on more CDs (possibly sparing you from mistakenly buying really bad music just to fuel the addiction), and you'll have the moral satisfaction of helping poor puffins in other countries.

 

Don't say I never did anything nice for you. :P

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Now see, you could easily send your money to the Puffin princess. Probably the wisest decision you can make. But if you were to, oh I dunno, send it to me, I can make your money work for you. It's called real estate. Look me up on it on buymakaruahouse.com.

 

Or if that doesn't work for you, I totally know a doctor in Nigeria who needs help to transport his fees. You get a cut of the deal, and all you need to do is send me your bank account details and your PIN number...

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Hey kids! Ever see your friends playing with all their cool gadgetsand wish you had one of their own? But then you got the gadget, and it wasn't cool anymore?

 

Now, you can get a gizmo that's always cool! It's purple! It's decorated with Penguins! It's got more emo songs on it than you'll know what to do with! It's KEX'S IPOD!

 

This gadget will never go out of style, and you can laugh as your friends sob on the street because their pitiful U2 iPods have been severely owned. You can even brag to your friends online:

 

You: Guess what?

moo at the conner factoree: wat

You: I have Kex's iPod

moo at the conner factoree: O RLY

You: YA RLY

moo at the conner factoree: NO WAI

You: YA WAI

moo at the conner factoree: you poopy head u ended an sentence with an parpostion!!!

You: 0_o no I didn't

 

Well that's not really so great I guess.

 

But wait! THERE'S MORE! Call within the next 17.634593245 minutes and receive a FREE Llama, courtesy of the McSpit Corporation!

 

It's cool! It's fun! It's ANYTHING THAT BELONGS TO KEX! Buy it! Trade for it! Steal it! Because the Kexxy never goes out of style!

 

This message was brought to you by the Kex: Shakespeare loves his emo poems.

 

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Souperman, you have been promoted to the head of my advertising campaign. To start, I need some posters, business cards, and flyers to be placed around every forum (you can scratch G&T and RPG, nobody goes there). Be careful in comedies. If you get lost, there are lots of different characters you could ask. There are a bunch of potholes over in GD (did anybody see all those revived topics?), so watch your step. I hear there are some BK spies hiding out in promos, so don't let them get ahold of any new info or start any topics. There are way too many of those as it is. The flames can reach a bit high in BBC, and trust me -- roasted puffin is definitely something you want to avoid at all costs.

 

And please, keep the llama away. I want to keep the spam to a minimum.

 

Direct any questions to my secretary and only call my cell if it's of dire importance. Thanks.

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You know kex, there's a nice little trust fund I have called the 'Rahk fund, all proceeds go directly to my pocket, where they are then funneled into various outlets, including walmart to potentially buy some music... :P

 

Soending money is a problem for me too... that's why I don't have any. <_<

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You've got some problems, definitely. Fortunately, I think I can help you. Once you've got enough for your new iPod, start sending your spending-cash to me. It shall be out of your hands, removing your temptation to spend it on more CDs (possibly sparing you from mistakenly buying really bad music just to fuel the addiction), and you'll have the moral satisfaction of helping poor puffins in other countries.

 

Don't say I never did anything nice for you. :P

NO! It's a LIE Kex! Don't listen to her! I'm the one who can help you with your money, and to prove it, I'll give you some tips right now. :fonz:

 

Try buying the songs by themselves, on the internet. That could help cut down on your CD spending and increase the life of you song appreciation. Also, when you think of buying a new song/CD/album, listen to, say, 5 songs already in your 2 GB drive. Or, you could put all the money in the bank, and in order to get spending money you've got to go through a lengthly process to withdraw the money, barring a Global ATM robbery. :mellow:

 

Plus, I have extra fuzzy penguin stickers. :)

 

~ :kakamanu: ~

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I've had that "new" iPod since May. (Saved a bundle buying it on vacation in Vancouver for $250 CAD; over here in Finland they're marked 299€.)

 

A word to the wise: buying the new iPod will worsen your problem, not solve it. On the other hand, you'll fall in love with it and never regret the purchase anyway.

 

-BC

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I've had that "new" iPod since May. (Saved a bundle buying it on vacation in Vancouver for $250 CAD; over here in Finland they're marked 299€.)

 

A word to the wise: buying the new iPod will worsen your problem, not solve it. On the other hand, you'll fall in love with it and never regret the purchase anyway.

 

-BC

 

Bah. Lucky you. I should have one by the end of this weekend.

 

Well... Yeah. Sure. So this one'll hold over 7,000 more songs than my other one. I'll defintely be getting more music for it. Yes, getting. I didn't say the "b" word. Found a solution for that problem. Oooooooooh, yaaaaaaah. B)

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Yeah, but wouldn't the Kex Burger be cool? B)

 

 

No, Not a Burger made out of you :P, But it would be named after you. But, you'd have to avoid Lawsuits, and put on a warning:

 

 

"IF YOU ARE A SPAMMER, EATING A KEX BURGER CAN RESULT IN PAIN." :P

 

 

..please don't kill me

 

 

What's Publix, though?

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