Yeah! I think you should mention that I tried to rebuild Bara-Magna, but alas, I failed. Also, I should say somewhere that I thought that Malum deserved better than the Fire-Tribe. But at any rate, THIS IS AWESOME!!!

Also, Mesonak is awesome and everybody praise him! Give him mad props, but he's no god.

--Golden Flame--

Okay! I am editing right now, so expect new stuff in a couple of minutes.

Cool... Add the Water Legion locations next! Also, ya made a typo. It's Vizox-Magna.

--Golden Flame--

K. Also, I am adding new stuff, so even more new stuff in a couple of minutes.

Oh, you might want to add that Zana-Magna has the Fire Legion base in it's capital city, Zarana. Also, that it is the sucsessful recreation of my home planet.

--Golden Flame--

K. I'll ad new stuff soon.

First of all, in the beginning, by 'Epilogue' do you mean 'Prologue'? BEcause an epilogue usually comes at the end.

A suggestion- for the locations, put the them in bold and get rid of the gaps between each line. You shouldn't have to mention that they cannot join as an NPC. NPC stands for Non Playable Character, so its there in the name.

Add a list of rules, thats for sure. Some standards are: All BZP rules apply. No killing other players. use IC and OOC in your posts.

If you intend people to join you should really get a form together so that they know what you are looking for, such as name, appearence, species, weapons, etc.

Avoid things like 'location' and 'personality' as they tend to change and vary throughout the story.

This, my friend, is doomed to success.

Also, you are awesome!

Thanks! Howevere, I need to know some stuff. One, what weapons do you want? Two, what do you want the description of your territory to be?

Hehe. Very interesting. A worthy challenge for my entry!! By the way, you are awesome!

-CB-

Interesting. But I'll still win.

 

-CB-

--Golden Flame--

He means his RPG. New stuff soon! I just wish Mindscape would reply...

I AM HERE!!!!!!

Great looking right now, but two things I would like to add about the Keystone Territory and Azalon: both have capitals, Straub (KT) and Haven (A).

It might be a good idea to give some rules and weapons: a form would be good to. I'm new to these things, so I'll look at the RPG lingo and rules after posting.

I'd post more, but I have to go. I'll work on a history of my lands and weapons I would like. Also, I need to go praise your awesomeness.!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! YOU ARE FINALLY HERE! I have been wating for you for a while! I can't move on with the RPG until I get your info, so thank you so much for posting!

Mesonak, I am sick and tired of you editing all of my comments, even though you are awesome. Just because you are awesome doesn't mean you can edit my comments!

Anyway, I will PM you my rough draft, just so you know what you're up against. Please be honest with it.

-CB-

Here's some history and weapons. Should I work on a bio?

AZALON: Primary homeland of the Rock Tribe. It was created by mindscape as an attempt to re-create his home world of Arturi, which may or may not have been destroyed in the cataclysm. Mindscape successfully gained control of the Skrall after the death of the last Tuma in the cataclysm, and also welcomed in members of Golden Flame’s Fire Tribe when his mad brother (GF can think up a name) seized control of his throne, in a period known as the Interregnum. The two rulers combined their powers to retake GF’s lands. Their alliance ended when a prominent Fire General named Lhikan was assassinated by a member of the mercenary organization the Fourteenth Blinders, and GF blamed the murder on Mindscape, as the Rock leader had used the assassins to kill GF’s brother. A massive civil war sprang up called the Scattering which resulted in genocide of both Fire and Rock tribes. It ended with the exodus of Fire tribe members, who destroyed most of Azalon’s environment using FB doomsday devices.

Most of the southern regions of Azalon are a wasteland called the Graveyard where nothing is capable of surviving. The only remaining habitable regions of the world are the northern mountain regions, consisting of some small villages and the capital city, Haven. Mindscape rules as a god-king here with his commander/prime minister, The Skrall (who has refused a name, as all the Tuma are dead). The city is dominated by an enourmous pool of energized protodermis used by Mindscape to create new forms and dreate new breeds of Skrall. The most notable feature of Azalon is its transportation system- it uses “gates”- portals that can bridge amazing distances of this and other worlds. Haven has many portals to other worlds shut down due to wartime restrictions, but other portals leading to other areas outside this world are scattered all over the region…

KEYSTONE TERRITORY: Secondary world of the Rock Tribe. Settled after the Scattering, it is primarily a farming region, filling the purposes of the area destroyed in the Scattering. Its population is spread across the huge land, mostly consisting of small towns, feudal manors, or homesteads. It is policed by an energized protodermis spawned form of Skrall referred to as the Nuva Guard. The region is ruled by a NG Skrall known as the Baron, who exercises huge control over the area. He rules from a trading post/ feudal manor called Straub (named after the Matoran who discovered the Keystone Territory) that has close proximity to many gates.

However, the area is now war-torn because ten years after the Scattering, and three before this RPG, an experiment with Blinder doomsday technology accidentally opened a huge rift in the fabric of the multiverse, leaving two thousand-mile wide gates connecting the land with a land of Mesonak and a land of GF. (You guys can pick which ones.) The area is now filled with fighters and soldiers, and evacuations of major areas are common. The Skrall, in fact, is preparing for the likelihood of evacuating Straub…

WEAPONS: I would like a Rock Sword that is strengthend by Energized Protodermis to cut everything except something exposed to energized protodermis. Also a rhotuka launcher that creates gates in which to throw enemies into the Zone of Shadows, and an ability to read and control the mind of people, with one catch: I have to be able to see the person, and if that person has a sheild that covers the mind, it still won't work.

The name of my brother was Bronze Flame. Oh, and my Fire Legion has easily recovered from that civil war, although it'll never bring Lhikan back. And just for the record, the civil war was aaall Malum's idea. And my terrritories have Flame Nuva guards, they're protodermis spawned forms of Malum. The territory of mine you are connected with is Pyrox-Magna.

--Golden Flame--

My weapons are this: Protosteel razor-edged sword, a pair of energized Protosteel gauntlets, and a 2-bio-high axe charged with electricity.

Alright, here's a bio:

The being referred as "Mindscape" by his subjects possibly originated (according to him) as an Onu-Matoran transferred to Ga-Metru as a subject for an experiment: inter-dimensional travel. He was intended to be transfered to Bara Magna and back, but was inadvertantly sent to the farthest reaches of the multiverse, where he learned to manipulate existence at the atomic level. This new superbeing refined his skills, traveled back to the Matoran Universe, and slept in hibernation for many years, only awakening after the Cataclysm. He has shown to be a tolerant and wise ruler and peacetime, but an impulsive and illogical one in conflict. He has a sharp intellect, and a burning desire to learn the codes that make him all-powerful (which only the Great Beings have mastered.) He is an ambiguous character, who may or may not have engineered the Lhikan assasination, who frequently suffers from extreme bouts of paranoia.

You know what Mesonak? You actually have a good chance of beating me. After all you have six others helping you write it. But I'll still try my best. I've also decided not to send you my rough draft, so you don't copy anything off it.

Six? I have four people helping me. And yes, try your best.

Six? I have four people helping me. And yes, try your best.

Oh, yes my mistake, four. Now you better get cracking, because you said in the PM you would need to work REALLY HARD to beat my entry, and that was just the rough draft.

-CB-

Yeah...Especially since the contest is in March...

Editing comments is fun...

Yes, for you. I really hope I can go Premier soon... Hey Mesonak, would you like to host a rough draft of my RPG on your blog? Ya know? So members can compare them? Please? I need someone awesome to host my RPG.

-CB-

I would be honored. You know, since my blog really has nothing unique to it, I should do that for anyone who wants it...Last time I will edit your comments. Check them.