I usually don't go deep about my life or feelings, but last night at church, I for once tasted something that I haven't had since I've moved, and I just was too excited just to keep it in.

Just some recognition.

I was sitting alone in our huge church, waiting for my class. With so many people passing by, I usually get shaky and uneasy, so I bring my art folder to draw there, it really relaxes me. Over the past few months I get a series of comments by the random adults, and sometimes the kids will pass by and give me those exaggerated comments. (A young girl said I should teach an art class, I don't think I'm that good)

But they go on, and I’m left alone watching the youth play around. I feel really different and nervous around them, almost sick, but at the same time they’re really friendly and so much nicer than the older youth group I had back at my older church. So I try not to be desperate to fit in or to think resentful thoughts about them, even if the appearance of friendless is just a façade.

But I was drawing, and I suddenly hear over me, “Hey, can we look at your drawings?”

By me are a group of teenage guys, just looking at me with friendly faces. I don’t think I saw any deception or rudeness, they just seemed curious. I agreed and showed off some of the stuff I had, trying for once to sound both confident and modest in my works—but that really never works out. I just ended up tripping over my words and looking very socially inept.

But they seemed to look over that and just give me a bunch of comments. “Wow, those are boss!” “You have some great skills.” “Hey dude, I think you got some competition.”

I never got the courage to ask who else was an artist in that group.

They actually asked my name, what grade I was in, and what school I went to. One of them actually gave me their name too. They didn’t seem too surprised when I said I homeschooled, and really only said “That’s cool…no wonder you’re so good, you got some extra time to work on this.” (Which is true)

I just answered the questions quietly and bobbed my head dumbly. I was really too shy and shocked about this to really carry on a decent conversation. They eventually walked off to go do other stuff, but whether they really meant it or not, I felt so thankful and special for once in over a year. I pray so hard that will not be the last time they or others will come up to me. Next time I’ll try harder not to act indifferent, I really will talk next time. Cause I’m just too thankful to actually let that sensation of being talked to go.

It wasn’t really me being desperate to make a friend right then, or have a boyfriend, but it was that they actually just walked up to me and talked without having a teacher or parent introducing me. Sure it was the art that got their notice, but it was nice all the same.

I’m not really the most talented social individual, so thank goodness for my taste in art.