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The Story Of Reyikk


Dr. Hidaka

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The Jungle was dark. The little Hoi turtle looked up from it's little den. The day looked rather nice for going out and about. That was then, this is now. Immediatly, a huge Scarlet and ebon clad beast ran past, chasing after a muaka, it's eyes burning bright like a fire. A strange aura was about this beast. After this, the hoi noted to itself that today may not be a good day to go out....

 

 

The Beast in question was a Hikaki fire Lizard. But he was no ordinary Hikaki. He was one of the primordial species, one who had kept the size, strength and cunning of his species intact. His armor was pitted and cracked from various brawls and hunts. His head looked like a crown of sorts. This Hikaki was among the cruelest things in the land, and he loved it! But he had other things to do. Hunger struck at him, hurting his gut and making him double over a bit. The muaka ahead was a perfect way to end a day of fighting. All of a sudden, the muaka turned and extended it's head, ramming it into the hikaki's skull. The hikaki did not recoil, as he had suffered worse than this. What he did not expect was that the beast ACTUALLY thought he could beat him. The hikaki wanted to make sure that this muaka knew that this island has only one king. The hikaki then, to the muaka's surprise, breathed actual fire from it's mouth! It took only a second, but the hikaki managed to strike the muaka with it. The muaka knew he was not long for this world now, as his body was in immense pain from this fire. Fire that burned so badly on his armor. The hikaki, then stood over him, blazing eyes filled with hunger locked on his victim. Then, a wondrous thing happened, the hikaki turned away. The muaka wondered why such a terrifying beast would chase him and brutalize him so much, and then when he nearly had him, left him be! The muaka thought it best to not push his luck. All he knew was that he was glad to be alive.

 

Meanwhile, The hikaki felt rather satisfied with how the hunt went. Sure, he didn't get any food, but he got to feel the excitement of a true hunt! He felt so good about this. He was curious about one thing though, why did he breathe fire? He could never recall this ever happening in his life! So why would it happen now? "Best not bother with it", He thought, "it won't happen again." Or so he thought........

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Minus some 'urple prose (It's a phase, worry not) It's not half bad.

 

However there is a bit of difficulty in determining your POV. It's kind of switching between limited omniscient and omniscient.

 

It's confusing.

 

There's a semi-solid story behind this, and I can see that. But right now it's clunky and awkward--which is where we all begin. Keep writing and it'll become more and more natural to you.

 

-Janus

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