I need a break. A day off. Something.

Heck, I'm drinking a Coke and it's only 10 AM!

Brandy & Michael's wedding (Saturday) went great. I don't know how many of you have been in weddings before, but this was my first.

No miniature groom. No ring bearer. No groomsman. Just straight to Best Man. In a way, I'm honored. And yet in another way, I feel gypped.

I can say exactly how I feel gypped: I'd never been in a wedding before, so I had no idea how much standing was involved. A third of the way through the reception, "pain" was the only word that could describe my feet. (And this wearing dress shoes; God forbid I'd be wearing heels or something. Not that I have any experience with that at all; just an astute observation of the mechanics of the shoe construction, puts a nasty angle on the foot for that amount of time...my metaphorical hat is off to you ladies.)

Didn't get to toast them, though. Only 2 glasses by the cake and no champagne, sparkling wine, or sparkling white grape juice was in sight. Just as well: nothing good could have come from going off the cuff as I was going to do.

Brandy's veil was eventually worth $400 at least (in cash pinned on by people wanting to dance, and because it's tradition). Michael had some cash, but not nearly as much.

I caught the garter for the first time lifetime. I figured it wouldn't have been so long in coming, what with my 6' armspan and all. I guess they stuck me in front for a reason. For those unknowing, the garter is the guys' equivalent of the wedding bouquet. The bride wears it on her leg, and it's usually a, erm, big deal for its removal. I'm not going to explain the significance of its location: if you don't know, you're too young for me to tell you.

There will be some pictures posted on a website, starting November 1, available for purchase. If any of you guys would want to buy one, I'm sure there's a phone number somewhere. Why anyone would want to buy a picture of a wedding they didn't attend is beyond me, but hey.

That was all well & good, but yesterday was another wedding. The office manager here at work got married to someone from Luling. For the record, Charles, Frank, Denis and Lewis did not show up, and Burgundy (her name, the name her parents gave her at birth. Really.) is a bit...assertive. Frank actually had the gall to go to the Saints game instead of the wedding, so it remains to be seen what new and unique brand of wrath will be wrought upon him next week, after the honeymoon. We know Burg's going to be plotting all week.

I could fantasize that Rex Grossman would throw for 6 touchdowns tonight so that that the final score of the Moss Bluff Cruisers' fourth loss looks close. But needing a quarterback to match the output of the rest of the team is a bit too much to ask. My team looks good on paper..why is it so terrible in practice?!

-KIE, who needs to find that recipe.

EDIT: Yes, I realize yesterday was my 5-year anniversary on the site. Not much of note, except that within 2 weeks, the computer lab where I found & registered at BZ (No "P" at the time), that computer lab had lost its internet privileges because some grad assistants used the computers there for illegal file-sharing (back before Napster was legitimate), and rather than cut the ports (which would prevent the network admin staff from doing likewise), they just turned off the lab.