I haven't posted a new entry as of recent because of a few items coming up (mainly my trip to Kentucky, which has nothing but dial-up).

At the moment, though, I've got something I want to vent about.

I read comic strips. Cartoonists can be real comical geniuses in comparison with the cheesy shows that now spawn on Disneychannel and Cartoon Network, which for some reason sends a good deal of my age range into laughing fits. What's so funny about The Suite Life of Zack and Cody or Dexter's Laboratory, I'll never know.

Granted, I find that once again the old surpasses the new, both in television and comic strips. Because I'm just thinking over the subject due to reading over some old comic strip collections, I'm going to give a full evaluation of my newspaper's comic selection.

Non Sequitor: It used to be I would find this occasionally humorous, when it wasn't throwing out political wisecracks I didn't understand. Now that they've tossed in that disturbing girl and her horse, its basically for the birds now.

Pluggers: I never found this strip constantly funny. It irks me that the writer can't come up with his own ideas, and I'm thinking that the lack of selection he must get is what lends the one-panel to its common mediocrity. I've only seen two strips that have actually resulted in a positive reaction, and neither of them actually made me laugh.

Family Circus: I still admire this cartoon in its older aspects, and I imagine that someday when I'm a parent and I look back on the strip, I'll laugh more than I do now. While the strip is a family-type sort of comedy, it seems more like the cutesy humor that appeals more to parents and grandparents now than it does to people of my age range. I love the writer's perspective on things, but currently, it doesn't strike me too often anymore.

Off the Mark: The best improvement our newspaper ever made. This strip replaced the comic Marmaduke, which I despised due to its repetitive nature and lack of good timing. Off the Mark has a Far Side spin to it which I love seeing in present-day one-panels. I admire this strip for its clever outside-the-box thinking and the way it shifts perspectives, and I really think it's probably one of the better strips out there.

Opus: I hate this strip, basically because it bludgeons the reader over the head with political humor and exaggerated stereotypes. The artwork looks stale, like lumpy dough, and the quality of the humor doesn't give me the idea that the writer puts a whole lot of effort into to it. Opus has only made me laugh once, and that was due to the fact that the strip turned on itself and actually made itself look stupid. Otherwise, it's pretty bad.

Pickles: I like this strip to an extent because it reminds me of my own grandparents. Seniors have a great potential to be funny and the strip does utilize that fairly well. It's odd, though, that most of the really exceptional humor I get from it is what comes from the pets' own thoughts. In my opinion, while the writer handles grandparents fairly well, I think he would be much better off writing an animal strip.

Beetle Bailey: This strip is really pretty bland. It doesn't make any real use of the setting, it's just constantly emphasizing how Sarge always gets mad and how Beetle dodges work. It's just not that good.

Garfield: This strip used to be funny, but its humor has declined in the coming years. Its rarely more than Garfield firing some smart-aleck one-liner with those typical half-open eyes. I think that the writer must not be very heavily inspired by the strip anymore or else he's simply trudging through it. Either way, I think it's gone downhill since the older days.

Peanuts: I've always admired Peanuts for its juvenile, yet philosophical humor. We often forget that these are kids speaking to us until they get into their tantrums. The character of Snoopy, probably the most famous cartoon character of all time, is in a world completely by himself, reflecting some of the more adult humor of the strip, though keeping it in a child's range of humor with the fact that he's really just a dog flying a doghouse. Peanuts has a great range of quality humor.

Foxtrot: I really enjoy the book collections more than the daily strips themselves. Sadly, even Foxtrot has begun to fall into more of the stereotypical brands of family humor. The personalities have sort of derived into just people with punchlines. Foxtrot was brilliant in its earlier years, and it still makes me laugh, but its take a few steps backward.

Get Fuzzy: Reading this strip feels like trudging through water. The ways its drawn doesn't give a lot of desire to look at what's happening, and the humor is often weak sarcasm. It doesn't take a lot of the creative liberties that it could take with a dog and a cat in the same house, it simply shows the cat abusing the dog and getting sarcastic commentary from his owner. It's just bland.

For Better or For Worse: I'm not sure how to judge this strip because it relies so greatly on actually staying in touch with the comic. It's hard to simply jump in and get going. This storyline has been developing for a long time, it's obvious. It does have its moments, but so often I just don't understand because it's so much of an actual plot than it is simply a comic strip.

Blondie: I do not like this strip very much.. The characters have no real depth and it relies on a routine humor. The arrogant boss, the mother that's always right, the constantly napping father, etc. Most comics end up with Dagwood simply falling asleep on the couch, and while I might've gone with that the first few strips, I think it's time to move past that joke and try something different, introduce some actual issues. It's pretty one-dimensional.

Doonesbury: I despise political comics like this. Period.

BC: This strip was never all that brilliant beyond sarcastic comebacks and slapstick. A good deal of the humor sounds like something you'd find on the inside of a Laffy Taffy wrapper. It really doesn't have any depth, any situations. It's just a joke book with illustrations.

Baby Blues: I still like this strip. While a lot of the humor is aimed at parents, it has a nice homey feel that I enjoy. It works at a great range, from one-liners, to long diaglogues, to a single panel. Unlike so many strips that take on older kids, this focuses on raising younger kids, which I think is a great source for comedy.

Hi and Lois: Stereotypical and cliche. Golf-playing dads, hard-working mothers, annoying next door neighbors, rebellious sons, etc. I don't think I've ever laughed at this strip due to its lack of real originality.

Sherman's Lagoon: Funny at times, but not consistently. I like it better when it's more focused on the Shark idea rather than undersea life. It seems to be teetering on the edge of falling into a typical love-hate relationship between the parents. Still, it does lend a few laughs.

Shoe: Not...that great. Basically, it's little more than a news reporter sitting around a bar hearing people bring in punchlines about their life.

Luann: This strip really isn't that great. It seems to be constantly focused on the drudgery of teenage life and takes little focus off of anything else. While to some it may be funny, I simply don't laugh at it because I really can't relate.

Hagar the Horrible: Does this strip really ever get past cranky wives, nights at the bar, and laziness?

Dilbert: I don't know why, but I always make sure to read this strip. It has interesting bits of humor, even though I don't relate to office jobs. The style is interesting, mainly in the cartooning, but though the humor isn't consistent it makes enough turnovers to actually interest me at times.

That may seem harsh for the most part, but it's most likely because of my obsession with older comic strips. I read Calvin & Hobbes almost religiously, and I think it would be great if they just reran his old comics like they did with Schultz. The Far Side is an era I'm sad I missed. I admire the humor it brought to one-panels, where otherwise it would seem fairly bland. Foxtrot and it's older book collections still make me laugh, and even Garfield and his older collections still bring about a few laughs.

Ultimately, there are some brilliant writers out there and there are some that just aren't. Unfortunately, we seem to get more of the latter, but the former still does shine through where it lies.

Critically,

Dr. Bionicle