To be or not to be, that is the---

No, that isn't the question. It never has been. The question is...why are the reindeer eating glitter? Is there some psychological force, deep inside, which presses them to do it? Perhaps the want, the need, has been deep inside their brains for centuries, but never activated until this year.

And another question: How much are they eating? Pints? Cups? Ounces? Gallons? If they're eating gallons and gallons of glitter, how much longer shall it be before they run out? And what will they turn to next for their nourishment? Glitter glue, markers, colored pencils, erasers...?

At the rate they're eating, we will most likely not have any craft materials left before December 23rd. What will we make our Christmas cards with then? And Valentine's Day? How are we going to proclaim our true love without glitter, markers, glue and erasers?

Soon, we will be reduced to sending blank pieces of paper everywhere. The post office will no doubt revolt to wasting precious time and money on delivering blank paper, but may not be able to afford to return money from the stamps. Everyone who's ever mailed Christmas cards will lose valuable money and, every last one of them, will be forced to declare bankruptcy! Oh, unhappiness! And nobody will be able to wish each other holiday greetings. People all over the world will walk around thinking, "My family doesn't love me anymore! They didn't send me a Christmas card!" Oh, what a state the world will be in!

No Christmas cards...no Valentine's Day...no glitter...just chaos, chaos, chaos...

... ...

If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to make my Christmas cards early this year...before the world falls into blind panic...

Turakii

P.S. I blame the reindeer!