I started coming up with weird things in my head and decided they'd be hilarious captions to accompany an image... But I wasn't up to drawing the images, so I decided to just post them.

"The chainsaw-wombats would be back the next night, Steve knew, but for now he slept comfortably with the hedge clippers at his bedside."

"...All that was found of poor Lloyd after the hideous incident involving mittens were two fingernails and half of his left foot."

"The group heard a loud, ominous 'THUD!' and silence followed afterwards as they waited to see whether Ned was right about plastic Shop And Stop bags being acceptable substitutes for actual parachutes."

"Professor Smithwick ran into the lab, eager to see the results of the successful shark/giant squid interbreeding program but was sadly unaware of the large puddle right in front of the open-window tank."

"And after that day nobody ever spoke of beef jerky lest they invoke the wrath of the Sledgehammer Bunny."

"Indignities ensued immediately after the participants in the study on smoking discovered by painful accident that the plumber who had been over the other day to the facility had unwittingly connected the water pipes to the gas pipes."

"And now we bring you 'Chainsaws and Heavy Metal Theater: Lots of Painfully Loud Noises Special Edition' in Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound."

"Needless to say, all hopes of curing Patient #009235-A-773 were horribly crushed when the DVD of 'Shrek 2' he was supposed to watch was actually a Richard Simmons Workout disc placed in the wrong case."

"And after mistaking the Necromicon for a Harry Potter book and putting it on the 'Fun Reading' shelf, Darren was never allowed to volunteer for service in the Children's Section of the Arkham Library again."

...Feel fun to illustrate one of these if you want, I might actually turn this into some sort of contest in this here blog.