Jamags

IC:"Yeah, we got lots of spare minerals from our operations. All I gotta do is shape them and weld them to your hull...... That gives me an idea! Unidentified ship, position yourself so that my ship is between you and the pirates.

IC:

Exactly what Kaju had been trying to do. He swerved around the other ship, losing sight of the pirate one.

IC - Lapidu:

Water. He needed water. He saw nothing, the suns rays bearing down upon him, and those that missed him reflecting back up from the sand. He had to make it somewhere. Then he saw a mountain in the distance. Onu-Wahi! It was within sight. He began running towards it, but fell face-first in the sand. He spat sand out and scrambled to his feet, only to fall again, barely conscious. He had to make it.

He had to make it...

He had to make it...

He had to...

He... He...

He slipped into unconsciousness.

Good chappy, if a bit short. One suggestion I'd make is to find a new font for Onewa: It's really hard to read banana writing.

 

-MT

Right. I'll make his font a little darker next time.

Chapter 5 – Po-Koro

*Tahu, Takua, Jaller, and Hewkii are meeting with Turaga Onewa*

Onewa: Hehehe! Smashing rocks is funfunfunfunfun!

Hewkii: Uhh… Turaga?

Onewa: Yeh? What’s the matter… Whatever your name is…

Hewkii: It’s Hewkii. Uhh… Tahu is looking for his Kanohi Kakama.

Onewa: Ah, Tahu. I heard of your approach, so I contrived a series of pointless challenges for you to complete for the mask.

Tahu: Wait, what?

Onewa: You must pass the trials of mind, body, and skill. Then you must enter the maze of destiny and recover the key of fire. Then you must travel to the ancient temple of Pohatu, and defeat the guardian to claim your prize!

Tahu: Is there a reason for all of that?

Onewa: No. Not really. However, Toa Pohatu will be helping you. Hafu, summon the Toa. Hafu? Hafu? Blast it. He must be out carving statues of himself again. Or obsessing over Hewkii’s awesome Kolhii skills. Regardless, I must summon him myself.

Hewkii: Is this gonna take very long?

Onewa: Yes. POHATU!!!

Pohatu: *Zooms up using his Kakama* Ah! Toa Tahu! You’ve arrived! Would you like me to show you around?

Tahu: Actually, I’d like to find my mask now.

Pohatu: Ah, to the point. I like that. Well, off we go!

By the way, I’m the narrator of stone. I’ll be taking over for fire while everybody’s in Po-Wahi.

Pohatu: This guy’s been bothering me since I ended up on the beach.

Also, I think Hewkii requires some explanation. He's actually a nice guy, but he has a preconceived notion that all sports stars are arrogant and snobbish. Therefore, he thinks he has to be like that too.

OOC:Sorry I haven't posted.

 

IC:The pirates were being repelled from boarding for the moment, so Cyrista sent out a broadcast to the other ship. "Hello there! I saw you getting your rear end handed to you by those pirates, once I repel them permanently, would you like some help with repairs? If so, just start firing at the pirates from range. If not, just run as fast as your engines take you."

IC: In response, one of the Kardas' cannons began firing at the pirate ship.

"Repairs would be rather helpful, yes."

IC - 248 - Personnel deck: Having followed the blood for a while, he saw a room up ahead. There were several figures inside, speaking to each other. He assumed they were in the same situation he was. As he walked toward the room, he drew his plasma pistols, but kept them at his side, so as not to appear hostile. He opened the door slightly.

"Hello?"

IC - Lapidu:

Lapidu trudged the desert, the sun beating mercilessly off of his back. Just the day before, he had left Po-Koro. As of now, he was done with Koros. The concept of having separate elemental villages at all had been a bad idea to begin with. If one of your core principles is unity, it's usually bad to split into six isolated tribes. And now, they all hated each other. However, Lapidu was now having second thoughts about leaving. Po-Koro did have one thing he rather enjoyed: Air conditioning. Maybe he would head for Ko-Koro next. No, they'd probably chase him off. Onu-Koro then? Yes, that sounded good. He stumbled and fell to his knees from the heat. Yes, that would be quite nice if he could make it there.

OOC: I'm not entirely certain what's going on here, so I guess he's open for interaction.

Name: Lapidu

Species: Po-toa

Description: Lapidu is tall and lean, with an overall imposing physique. His mask is a Kakama, but is shaped like a Noble Kiril. His armor is worn and damaged in several places. His mask, shoulder armor, upper legs, and feet are a vibrant yellow, while his lower arms, lower legs, and hands are dark brown. His eyes are a deep blue, as is his heartlight. His armor is light, but not underprotective.

Gender: Male

Powers and/or weapons: Speed from his mask, stone from his element. His weapons consist of a Mace and a Morning Star, which can be combined to form a longer, double-ended mace, with a chain loop between the handle and the spiked ball on one end (The spiked ball on the morning star connects to the handle, leaving the chain hanging loose).

Technological items: None.

Weakness(es): Due to his lone wolf, rebellious nature, he's easy to isolate and outnumber. His natural paranoia can also be turned against him.

Alignment: Chaotic Good

History: He started out living a peaceful life in Po-Koro, just like any other Matoran. He served in the Po-Koro guard, but didn't see much action. One day, Po-Koro was attacked by a stampede of Kane-Ra. He and several other guardsmen helped fend them off, but one teammate, a Toa, was mortally wounded. He managed to create a Toa Stone when he died, and gave it to Lapidu. Lapidu was transformed into a Toa, and, helped drive off the rest of the Kane-Ra. He then became a protector of the Po-Matoran, defending the village from the occasional rahi attacks, but still not seeing much action. But then, the villages began to drift apart. He advocated for unity, but eventually became tired of bickering and hostility between the villages and set off on his own.

Personality and traits: One of his key traits is that he's naturally paranoid. He's not too paranoid, but it's enough to affect his other traits. He respects the three virtues, but paranoia has driven him away from unity. He has become a lone wolf, and is rather rebellious. He still advocates for unity, but he also believes forging true bonds, and being able to trust someone completely is a slow process, and not to be taken too lightly. Once those bonds are formed, however, he believes that sacrificing them is an even worse mistake than forging new ones too quickly.

Lev knows what he's doing.

He asked for suggestions. I think what he has right now is fine, but I just think some might be more interested in that sort of thing.

I have an idea that could make this more active. The Lost are very cool, but they're uncommon, and you're pretty much screwed if you run into one. So I recommend another, weaker, more common kind of enemy. Maybe hostile scavengers. Maybe something completely new. Maybe even Lostish things that haven't completely mutated yet. Personally, I find the way you've been doing it to be interesting and fun, but some people might be more active if there's more actual battles.

I'd make a fully light version of titan Takanuva, with gold instead of gunmetal. Also, I want Tahu Mistika's mask in yellow.

OOC: No response. Didn't think there was anyone there anyway...

IC - 248 - Personnel Deck:

He looked down the hallway, and saw an empty shell of a Steltian, dead on the floor. Most likely, the mess in front of him was the Steltian's organic parts. He walked over. There seemed to have been several scuffles in this area. Mostly Toa and Toa-sized beings. A wall had been blown out. He noticed that there had also been... something else, there. It, unlike any of the other combatants, had left a trail. One of a strange liquid he assumed was blood. The being was either a threat to be eliminated or a fellow crewmember to be joined. He began to follow the blood.

OOC: *Elmer Fudd voice* Shh... I'm huntin' wost. Eheheheheh.

Wook! Wost twacks! Eheheheh.

Well, let's see where you've been off to, Mr. Kanohi-Face.

IC: Kaju had conducted better attacks. As in, ones that didn't involve his ship getting battered by a much larger one, another pirate no less, and springing a leak. He turned, and headed for the mining ship, hoping that he would be able to repair his ship and escape the battle. Maybe he could see if the seekers had another job for him or maybe find some other ship to raid. But one thing was for sure: He was not in the mood for sinking into the Pit.

OOC: Heh. Bit of a rough start for him.

So, yeah. I felt like making a comedy about the Order of Mata Nui. Considering I've already got another comedy and I'm planning a third, this won't be updated too regularly. Character list:

Helryx: Has a tendency to overreact to everything. Loves destroying stuff, and smashing people's faces in with her mace.

Axonn: Pretty much normal in terms of personality. Everyone who meets him has a strange urge to attack or outdo him, and always fail miserably.

Brutaka: They talk about themselves in the plural for some reason. They don't like Axonn, and continually play pranks on him. They also often say and do very strange things.

Jerbraz: Loves to startle people, but always gets annoyed when someone brings up his invisibility. Sometimes pretends to be a ghost, which really weirds everyone out.

Vezon: It's Vezon. Do you need any more information?

Johmak: Able to split into a bunch of small shards and reform at will, she tends to materialize in the middle of things at random moments.

Krakua: Likes to play loud music, and generally acts like an annoying teenager. Mostly loud music, though.

Tobduk: Overly violent, often kills Makuta in particularly painful ways.

Trinuma: Constantly does annoying, bothersome things to people, and then makes them still like him using his Mask of Charisma.

Botar: An unintelligent brute, Botar constantly tries to take people to the pit.

Hydraxon: Botar's more intelligent but less skilled comrade in irrationally arresting people for no particular reason.

Umbra: Axonn's annoying next-door neighbor, a nerdy fanboy, that constantly makes references (Note the last sentence of the quote at the top) to popular franchises.

Chapter 1

Helryx: Alright people. I want to knock something's head off. Therefore, I'm doing it to this Makuta.

Tobduk: KILL! KILL! KILL!

Mutran: Help... Me...

Helryx: *Knocks his head off*

Tobduk: YAY!

Axonn: That was kind of fun, but can we go do something useful now?

Hydraxon: Useful? Like putting you scum in THE PIT?

Botar: BOTAR HALP HYDRAXON!

Axonn: ...

Hydraxon: A quiet one, eh? I'll take you on, quiet or otherwise! *Fires Cordak Blaster*

Axonn: *Dodges and smashes him over the head with his axe*

Botar: AXE MAN HURT HYDRAXON! BOTAR HURT AXE MAN!

Helryx: *Hits him over the head with mace* Why did we hire these two again?

Brutaka: We are a pretty butterfly!

Helryx: Why, thank you Brutaka. That explains... Absolutely nothing.

Brutaka: WE CAN SWING OUR SWORD BECAUSE IT IS AN ELEPHANT!

Axonn: ...

Brutaka: Oooh! Axonn! We like to make Axonn annoyed!

Axonn: Can I go back to Voya Nui yet?

Helryx: Mind if I come with you?

Brutaka: We can sail Axonn's boat through the sea of lollipops!

Axonn: Yes.

Brutaka: Lollipop wave! Candy for everyone!

Helryx: Then no, you can't go back.

Brutaka: All our friends and Axonn stay with the pretty unicorn island in the sky!

Axonn: *Sigh*

Brutaka: Yay! we have stolen Axonn's axe? But what will we do with it? We don't know, so we'll just give it back.

Axonn: ...

And another one.

Chapter 4 – The outskirts of Kini-Nui

Tahu, Jaller, and Takua are walking in silence.

Takua: I’m hungry…

Tahu: Mmm, Chili…

Wrong series.

Tahu: Oh.

Random Nui-Rama Swarm: Rawr.

Tahu: AHHHHH! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!111!!1!!1111!!!!one!!1!111!!!eleven!!!111!1!12!two!

Jaller: …

Takua: Don’t worry! This is just like the time I almost got Tamaru eaten by a Kofo Jaga! All we have to do is scream like brainless fools and wait for Turaga Matau to show up and save us! And also, I’m hungry…

Tahu: We’re doomed…

Random Nui-Rama Swarm: *Attacks* Rawr.

Tahu: *Swings sword wildly at one of them* BACK! BACK! STAY BACK! I’VE GOT A FIRE SWORD AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE IT!

Random Nui-Rama: Rawr.

*Jaller and Takua face the Nui-Rama, Jaller bravely fighting them off, and Takua making dramatic poses and throwing the occasional disk*

Later…

*Tahu is still fighting the same Nui-Rama while Jaller and Takua stand atop a pile of fallen opponents*

*Tahu slays his enemy*

Tahu: YEAH! I GOT ONE!

Jaller: That’s… Nice…

Last of the swarm (A Kofo-Jaga): Rawr. *Flies past knocking everyone down*

Hewkii: *Randomly shows up* *Kicks a Kohlii ball which hits the Kofo Jaga in the face, taking it down* Yay! I saved them! I mean… GOAL! Yeah! Who’s awesome?

Tahu: Uhh… Greetings, good matoran. Do you know the way to Po-Koro? I am going there to get my Kanohi Hau. Wait, no. Kakama. Sorry.

Hewkii: Sure, I can take you there! Uhh… I mean… Ugh. Didn’t you like, bring a map or something?

I sense a disturbance in the force, as though a thousand reasonably good fanfic writers and critics cried out in terror, and were silenced.

Also, LOL Canon. He wouldn't happen to be a camera enthusiast, would he?

And I can't believe it took me this long to figure out that Sparkledust is an actual Mary Sue and not just a character with Sueish traits.

Alright. My turn for rules.

Rule one: I'm awesome.

Rule two: I seriously need to get back to writing my comedy, and only spend half my time obsessively waiting for updates on this one.

Rule three:

...

...

...

I can't think of one.

IC: Well, this hadn't exactly gone as planned. Kaju swerved to avoid the oncoming projectiles, but was hit by a few. The Kardas shook violently from the impact. Kaju rushed to a cannon, and fired at the pirate ship's weapons. If he could disarm it, he'd be able to put it out of commission quite easily.Another shot hit the Kardas.IF he could disarm it.

 

 

Also, how did you pay Takanuva to be in this story?

When I told him we were going to beat up a Mary Sue, he came running.

 

Little did he know...

Having a bit of writers block with the next chapter, but it might be out later today. I've also had two more comedy ideas, that I may start writing in the near future.

Pohatu: And you should know that I am actually: TOA TAHU!

Tahu: Seriously?

Pohatu: No.

Great story. My favorite part is Jamags-was-too-wise-to-even-try-to-type-her-name's name.

Also, how did you pay Takanuva to be in this story?

There was chocolate involved, wasn't there?

Granted. A rival musician murders you for being better than he is.

I wish that anyone that tries to corrupt this wish would explode before being able to do so.

IC: Kaju grinned. He had been sailing on the Kardas, looking for ships to rob. He hadn't found one. Oh, no. He had found two. A pirate ship was attacking what appeared to be a mining ship. He knew Pirate ships. They tended to have a lot of treasure. But the mining ship also appeared to have a lot of interesting cargo. He wanted to rob something, so why not both? The plan came to him. He would "save" the mining ship from the pirate ship, and then rob that one too. This sounded fun. The Kardas sailed toward the pirate ship at full speed.

OOC: The ship-that-looks-like-a-mining-vessel is yours, av.

IC: 248 - Personnel Deck

248 woke with a start. He began to think about his current predicament, only to realize he had no idea what that predicament might be. Every time he thought he remembered something, he realized that he didn't, which also brought in more questions. He decided to break down the situation logically: Who, what, where, when, why, how.

'How am I?'

He looked over himself. Aside from the amnesia, he seemed to be unharmed by whatever led him to this situation.

'What am I?'

That one was easy. He was a Toa of Ice.

'Where am I?'

This was somewhat trickier, but he knew he was in a stasis tank. Outside, he could vaguely make out what appeared to be the interior of a space ship.

"Who am I?"

This time, he spoke aloud. The strange suit he was wearing flared to life, displaying the words "Welcome: Crew Member 2-4-8." "Guess that's me," he muttered to himself.

He realized he had missed a question. Deciding the suit could provide some answers, he once again spoke aloud.

"When am I?"

"Internal chronometer offline."

That left one question.

Why?

He supposed he'd just have to find out. He began scanning through the files on his suit. He found information on weapons systems, combat techniques, and how to use his mask. He punched the stasis tank. A small part broke into pieces, and fell noiselessly to the ground. He peered through the hole. Getting a good view of the outside, he activated his Kanohi Kualsi, teleporting out of the tank. He was in a row of similar tanks. He looked around and saw a pile of... something. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be the organic parts of a biomechanical being.

OOC: That's the gore 27 and 404 took out of 5.

248 open for interaction.

Okay, yer approved, matey. Post whenever.I'll have one up soon for Flare and Waz.

Added to profiles topic.

Name: Kaju

Because rules: Water, water, everywhere, and all the boards did shrink. Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink.

Gender: Male

Species: Po-Toa

Faction: His own, but sometimes works with the Seekers.

Powers: Stone powers

Skills: He is a talented swordfighter, and skilled at navigation. He is also quite agile.

Equipment: A long, brown, coat, and a few navigational instruments

Weapons: A short, curved, sword, and a Cordak blaster

Kanohi: Arthron

Appearance: His mask is brown at the top, and fades into yellow closer to the bottom. His chest armor, hands, and feet are brown as well, with yellow limbs and highlights. He is not an imposing figure, but he is physically fit, and rugged-looking. His armor is old and damaged, and his coat tattered.

Personality: Kaju is arrogant, flamboyant, and quick-witted, more likely to attack with a witty quip about his supposedly amazing skills than he is with a blade.

History: Kaju always spent more time near the water than other Po-Matoran. One day, a dying Toa washed up on the beach of Po-Metru. He gave Kaju 6 Toa Stones, and told him to seek out 5 other destined Matoran. The Matoran became Toa, and set off on a quest, the details of which are only known to Kaju himself. Regardless, only Kaju returned from the mission. However, he was a changed man. He was surly, rebellious, and grim. Eventually, he stole a boat from Ga-Metru, and wasn't heard from for a long time.

He's back. His small ship travels the seas, searching for treasure, and taking it from others when possible. He also operates as a bounty hunter, often taking contracts for the Seekers.

Ship:

Name: The Kardas (Formerly the Aquatic Fikou, renamed when stolen from Ga-Metru)

Appearance: A small ship, barely large enough to be considered one, the Kardas is an unassuming vessel. It is fast and small, and used to be a fishing boat, until it was stolen and converted to a combat capable ship. It is made of metal, and has a lot of hidden compartments, and even a hidden room, in case the ship gets captured.

Armament: Four large cannons, and several harpoons. The cannons are primarily intended as a warning, rather than a genuine offensive mechanism. The harpoons are there to attach onto an enemy ship, to allow Kaju to board and steal whatever it is he attacked to steal.

Faction:

Name: Kaju's Crew (He's not all that creative.)

Goals: To become rich and powerful.

Size: No NPCs. I won't be adding any subsequent characters of my own to it. If any players feel like joining, I'll add them, but I want to keep it small. Maximum of 6 people, counting Kaju.

EDIT: And another one.

Name: Denix

Gender: Male

Species: De-toa

Faction: Seekers

Powers: Creating, controlling, and absorbing sound.

Skills: Is skilled at stealth in his own right, complimented by his kanohi, and is gifted at hand-to-hand combat and martial arts. Has high accuracy, and is also quite intelligent.

Equipment: Smoke bombs, a grapple gun, and a small laser cutter.

Weapons: Two daggers, a lightstone rifle, and a light staff (can only fire small light blasts, and takes approximately 5 minutes to recharge between blasts.)

Kanohi: Volitak

Appearance: In set form, he would be Inika Build. He is tall, thin, and imposing. His mask, chest armor, forearms, and lower legs are black. His shoulder armor, upper legs, and feet are dark grey. His armor is sleek and polished, but angular and sharp. It is also not heavy armor, designed for mobility and stealth.

Personality: He's smart, devious, smooth, dedicated, charismatic, and tricky. He can convince someone that their most prized possession just fell in the ocean and that they need to go retrieve it, but isn't afraid of simply pushing them overboard. He's manipulative and sneaky, but not above getting personally involved. Despite his devious nature, he's also brave and loyal to his own cause. He's not afraid of killing, but will only kill those he feels deserves it. Which would be a lot of people.

(Blank space to break up wall of text)

History: No one knows where he came from. Some say even he doesn't know, though when asked, he'll respond "What's it to you?" implying that he does know. One day, many years ago, he appeared on the southern continent, fighting off a Rahi attack on a small village. No one even saw which direction he came from. All they know is that he took down three Muakas unarmed. The village was Mahri Nui. He was there for a while, but was travelling on mainland Voya Nui when Mahri broke off. When the Great Spirit was injured in the Matoran Civil War, an earthquake sent Denix's coastal home into the sea. He later arrived at Zakaz, where he lived a life of secrecy until the Flood, when he escaped on a boat. He sailed to the Great Provider, but his boat crashed. He lived on the Provider for a while, when the Seeker fleet came on a supply run, and he joined them.