MetaToa

Granted, but it doesn't stick to the original Marvel storyline whatsoever and Justin Beiber stars in it.

I wish that people liked good music.

I like any band or any musician that plays complicated or otherwise contemporary guitar or base. E.g., John Frusciante, Flea, Jimi Hendrix, Nirvana, and shtuff like that.  

4/5. Great guitar. 

3/5. Not the worst guitar, pretty good base, not the best singing. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7MhpFF1vv0

No idea what the heck a Pupwa is, but the name reminds me of the word "puppy". Please don't stone me, hang me, give me the chair, or give me some other form of capital punishment if that's some reference and I'm being entirely ignorant right now.

Every Toa would probably win except for Gali; she'd be beaten by Breez, because she's obviously the best out of all the heroes as we saw in Invasion from Below.

Anyhow, Surge might have a chance against Lewa. Why do I say that? Lewa has a streak of getting into trouble. Surge has a streak of beating bad guys (except he did get into trouble in Brain Attack). But he was the first in Breakout to beat his criminal, and he managed to get past Firelord in Ordeal of Fire.

Wow, that paragraph contains a lot of Hero Factory references. I think I named at least 3/4 of the whole series. 

Toa (I'm assuming these are the ones that will fight the Heroes) have mask powers and elemental control. Heroes have weapons and tech that doesn't have altogether the highest performance (along with the countless others, in Invasion from Below the mechs supposedly in place of an upgrade were getting destroyed every five seconds by things that Toa could handle in their sleep - essentially Rahi).

I can say that other types of Matoran outside of the six main elements weren't necessarily kept out of Metru Nui. They just aren't native to it.

Denmark.

An attempt by aliens to make everyone morbidly obese and then conquer the world while it's weak.

Aliens.

Your name is Gelu and you are a guru. Don't know if that's a thing or not.

Granted, but you eat it so quickly that you choke to death. I wish for a more satisfactory answer.

EDIT: This corruption didn't really kill you right? Ohboy, if it did, I am veeeeeeerrrrryyyy sorry. Here, take this unchokable chocalate bar bigger than the last.

And I was kidding about the unsatisfactory answer - you, sir, make great answers! That last one was great!

Waita second, did I just corrupt my own wish?

Krakua!

So all I have to go around saying is, "do you need this display case? I could use it for Bag End."

You can stop making allusions, but as a compensation for it you are now hooked on Altoids.

I wish that I wasn't addicted to Altoids.

Granted, but since they used to be Av-Matoran the awesomeness blinds you. I wish that there was still a book in my life still worth reading.

So, who's your favorite comic book artist?

Siberia.

I was going to say a pretty "constructive" statement, but seeing the other comments I just edited it, and now I'm saying that I honestly don't know (the entire truth).

Well, the truth is, powers such as these are a lot more reliable than Hero Factory technology. Just look at poor Stormer in 2010 while in mid-combat. If Hero Factory's weaponry or any other technology were anywhere near on par with the Great Kanohi, they'd break down before they could win the entire fight. 

Here’s a story from Esta Nui, an inhabited island from the Southern Islands (somewhere in MU)  . I couldn’t figure out a summary that gave it much justice without giving away what I didn’t want to give away. (No, I do not have some huge plot twist mapped out. It’s more similar to why the storywriters of BIONICLE wanted to not reveal how Matoran are made, except I’m actually going to say what’s going on.)   

So with that said and done, here is the review page. Hey, at least I said something more than just “REVIEW HERE” (actually kinda was considering that).  

Review topic here

Chapter I

The Interception

          Nimbau walked reluctantly in the moonlit rainforest, a mile or two away from his Koro. The countenance through his dark green Kualsi showed utter defeat. He was walking back home after a long week, yet he getting there was not his top priority. He walked in a slow, meandering fashion, the silver tip of his Protosteel scythe dragging in the ground.

          He was walking on a large, well-trodden path that was regularly maintained. Above him was a crescent moon and a cloudless sky dotted with millions of stars. On both sides of him stood vast trees draped with curtains of vines. Babbling brooks could be heard echoing throughout the jungle. All would have seemed peaceful if one were not returning from what Nimbau was returning from.   

          Suddenly, a cold, menacing voice came from behind him, chilling him to the core.

          “Hello, Toa of Air,” it said.

          Nimbau halted abruptly and glared at the dirt below him. He felt both sad, scared, and furious.

          “Can’t you guys just stay in your miserable little prison? I’m really not in the mood right now.”

          “I’m afraid not,” said the voice.

          Nimbau turned around, slowly and loathingly. As his eyes fixed themselves on his Skakdi adversary, his heart gave a rush.

          “You!” he shouted. He lifted his scythe. “You know what you’ve done to me?”

          “Oh, I know. But you should ask yourself,” said the red Skakdi: “is it fully me who did it, or yourself?”

          Nimbau paused before speaking.

          “You had the weapon,” he said. “You deserve my full wrath. And I’m going to give it to you.”

          Nimbau brandished his weapon and charged at the Skakdi. He whipped his scythe behind his back, aimed it at the Skakdi, and swung it back, expecting to hit him, but was instead parried by the Skakdi’s Fire Staff. The Toa of Air jumped back a few steps, then leapt onto the nearest tree branch and into the cover of darkness. A few rustles of leaves were heard, and then all was quiet.  

          The Skakdi scanned the branches, his eyes narrowing. A few minutes passed.

          “You can’t hide forever, Toa,” he said with a loud, clear voice. He looked behind him and scanned the tree branches there. He progressed a few trees over and cleanly sliced through the tree with one powerful cut. A metallic ringing sounded as the Skakdi followed through. The tree wavered, hung to one side, and crashed to the ground. The Skakdi grinned and channeled a flame through his staff.

          “Better be quick, Toa,” he said, “or your happy little forest is going to be a whole lot less happy.”

          He waited for the Toa to respond. After a minute with no answer, fire erupted from his staff like lightning from the sky and the fallen tree burst into flames. It crackled and smoked as the flames greedily consumed its wood. It was not long before it was nothing more remained but a charred limb.

          “That was just a demonstration,” said the Skakdi. “My patience is growing slim, though. Better show your ugly little—”

          The Skakdi was interrupted with a piercing blow from behind him.

          “I have a Kualsi, ignorant Skakdi,” Nimbau snarled.

          The Skakdi got up, smiling menacingly. He carelessly spun his Fire Staff, a flame still licking the air at the end of the blade.

          “So I’ve seen,” he said. He turned around, still spinning his staff.

          Nimbau pounced at him, but the Skakdi abruptly turned around and knocked him to the ground with his staff. Nimbau summersaulted backwards, grabbed the staff, and knocked the Skakdi’s feet out from under him. The Toa of Air leapt up and over the Skakdi, holding him by the neck and pinning him there. The Skakdi forced Nimbau up and threw him into the tree. There was a loud thump, and Nimbau’s body was cratered into the wood.

          The Skakdi smashed the Toa into the tree repeatedly, each indent in the trunk and each thump sounding louder than the last. The Skakdi threw him into the tree for the third time, and it crashed into the mossy forest dirt.

          Nimbau was lightheaded, and his vision was blurring. He shook his head and tried to get up, but before he could, he felt the cold metal hands of the Skakdi grip firmly around his neck and slowly lift him into the air. He then heard a snarl and growl, and he found himself being thrown, where he could not tell. His vision was addled immensely; all he could see was bright lights. That was strange. He had felt sure that it was night. He crashed into something hard, but he did not care anymore. He was going to be with his teammate. Everything would be fine. If he could just slip into the darkness…

          “No!” he shouted suddenly, recalling abruptly what the Skakdi had done. He swung his scythe back and forth wildly, his vision not yet fully restored. He felt a sharp pain on his head, yet he would not let up. He could not let the Skakdi get away. He must keep fighting. For his team and Tanewa, he could not give in. His scythe met something hard. He found hope in this and hit it repeatedly. He heard a cry of agony and a thump.

          His vision slowly came back, and the red Skakdi came back into focus. He was on the ground, holding his eye.

          “Ready to go back to the Shadowlands?” asked Nimbau.

          The Skakdi turned his head violently. His right eye was missing. He growled. Nimbau raised his scythe. The Skakdi pounced. There was a flash of red, and then all went black. 

Pohatu. It may sound like I'm just being biased because I like Bionicle, but if you look at how fast Sonic goes, then look at Pohatu, Pohatu looks like he's going much faster. 

Well that could just be due to the animation quality. Has Pohatu ever made a sonic boom? 

Well, just a warning, the parody portion doesn't really begin until the third chapter, but these chapters are pretty short. The comedy (if it is funny enough to be called that) is usually pretty subtle, too, up until the fifth chapter.

And another thing: if  you feel upset about the way certain character is being portrayed (and by "certain character" I mean Lewa), just keep reading. It'll all be explained in the end. If confused about a certain cameo in the story, just keep reading. All will come together. It may not come together in the smoothest fashion, but it will still come together.

With all that said and done, enjoy! If not, shun me violently! I don't care! Give criticism! It doesn't necessarily have to be constructive, although I would love it if it were! 

Chapter I

Flame and Frost

Tahu suddenly found himself in a grey, heavily-cratered area. He gave a start, then heard a voice behind him.

“And who are you?”

Tahu whirled around, unsheathing his Fire Sword. “The question is, my friend,” said Tahu severely, his eyes meeting his white-armored adversary, “who are you?”

“The name’s Preston Stormer,” he replied. “And I heard a distress call in this region, meaning you’re probably the villain.”

“I’m called a lot of things,” replied Tahu, “and ‘villain’ isn’t one of them.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Stormer removed handcuffs from out of nowhere.

“You don’t believe me?” demanded Tahu.

“Oh, sure, I believe you,” said Stormer, advancing.

Tahu brandished his Fire Sword and charged at Stormer. Seeing his opponent’s aggressive action, Stormer drew his Multifunctional Ice Weapon, formed an ice blade with it, and parried Tahu’s blow. Tahu then channeled his elemental powers through the blade and aimed it at Stormer. The hero blocked the fire, only for his ice blade to be shattered. Taking his advantage, Tahu leapt onto Stormer, lifting his sword and letting it fall, only to be parried again by Stormer.

Stormer fell back against the force of the blow, and Tahu fell with him. Tahu quickly got up, preparing to strike, but then he found his enemy on the floor, motionless.

“What happened to him?” thought Tahu aloud.

“His Hero Core got unplugged,” came a bitter answer. Before him was a red hero carrying a Dual Fire Shooter.

“Who are you?” asked Tahu.

“I’ll tell you this much: the name’s William Furno. And you just have downed my leader. You’re going down.”

The hero called Furno charged at Tahu, but a blur of white interjected and Furno fell backwards.

Chapter II

Logic versus Stupidity

Before Tahu was the Toa of Ice, Kopaka.

“I’ll take it from here, brother,” came the cold voice of the Toa.

“I could handle him, Kopaka,” protested Tahu, advancing. Kopaka held up his Ice Sword to stop Tahu.

“I don’t doubt that,” said Kopaka. “What I doubt is whether or not I’ll have any fun.

Tahu stared at him blankly.

“You do know that I’m right behind you, right?” question Furno.

With another flash of white and a quick, crackling noise, Furno was on the floor with his arm frozen to the ground.

“You should learn to shut up,” Kopaka remarked.

Furno looked at Kopaka, stunned.

“I tried to access my Kakama to intervene a while ago,” said the Toa of Ice, now directing his attention towards Tahu. “It didn’t work. That tells me we aren’t anywhere near Mata Nui.”

“Fair enough,” said Tahu.

                “We should go find the others.”

                “Sounds like a plan.”

Chapter III

Water and Friendship

                “Hello, animal-friends, where’s the distress signal coming from?” said Breez cheerfully, bending down to two little green lizards.

                The lizards directed their heads eastward.

                Out that way emerged a blue figure carrying…

                “Are those hooks?” questioned Breez.

                Gali saw a green figure in the distance.

                “Green most definitely does not fit her figure,” Gali murmured under her breath.

                Breez and Gali met briefly.

                “I have heard a distress call in this area,” said Breez. “I also have felt a disturbance in the nature. I have a feeling that you are the culprit.”

                “Well, before we get to that, could I just mention that green is not your color?” replied Gali.

                Breez did not know what happened. She just saw red, and before she knew it, she was pinning Gali on the stony floor of the Siri moon. She could not control her arms, and she threw them down and sliced Gali up with her Energized Dual Energized Boomerangs. When she could regain her composure, she stopped and got up, startled about her reaction.

                “Sorry,” she said politely, helping Gali up.

                Gali saw that Breez was an enemy. She focused upon increasing the moisture in the stone.

                “Well, you seem helpless and friendly enough,” said Breez. “I’m very sorry. I don’t know what happened. I assure you, I am usually very much disciplined with my anger.

                “Oh, well, sure; these things happen,” said Gali, trying to keep her voice steady.

                “Hey, wait, am I sinking?” questioned Breez, feeling odd.

                She looked down. She was sinking; the stone below her was now wet and bog-like. She started sinking faster and faster. She hooked her boomerang onto the stone and pulled herself out, throwing her legs out, hitting Gali in the head, and knocking off her mask. Gali was on the ground and couldn’t get up. Breez picked up the mask and opened up communications with Bulk.

                “Hey, Bulk, I think I found the people who were in the distress call.”

                “Oh really?”

                “Yeah, they wear these oddly-shaped helmets that apparently gives them power.”

                “Breez, that’s ridiculous. Everyone knows that Quaza can’t be in a helmet.”

                “I don’t think—”, but with that Bulk broke off his communications with Breez.

Chapter IV

Bulk Smash! It’s Cratering Time!

                Onua looked over his shoulder.

                “Bulk smash!” came the cry from behind him as a grey figure (supposedly named Bulk) leapt at him.

                Onua accessed his Pakari and deflected the attack. Bulk fell a few feet away.

                “Well then, Mr. Bulk,” said Onua, “I guess it’s cratering time.”

                Onua ran to his opponent and smashed him into the ground. Bulk quickly jumped up and threw his fist at the Toa of Earth. Onua dodged the blow and threw several small bolders at the grey hero. Every one of them hit Bulk, driving him to the floor. Onua looked at him.

                “I think he’s—”

                Just before Onua could finish, Bulk got up and pounced at him. Thinking quickly, Onua formed several large pipes out of earth and threw them on top of Bulk. Bulk saw a little moon-bunny in the way. He threw the little rabbit out of the way, and then got up and stood completely still to be met with fifty tons of steel and earth.

                “Oh no!” said Bulk. “I’ve been trapped! I guess I’ll just wait for three of my teammates to sacrifice their life energy for me so that I can have a force field that was meant to be used in the worst case scenario, but due to an excess level of rookie-ish moves on my part, will have to be used when there is an experienced member of the best of the best and a newcomer who seems to always win in the midst of things against one low-threat enemy.”

                “Okay then,” said Onua. “Have fun. I’ll be going over and saving Lewa now.

Chapter V

Spidersurge vs Deadlewa

                Lewa was strolling along, wondering exactly where he was and what had happened. He stopped when he heard a cough behind him.

                “Hey,” said Surge, “how is someone know whether or not you’re smiling with a mask like that?”

                “That’s easy,” said Lewa. “Someone doesn’t need to know whether or not I’m smiling. I’m a freaking Bionicle. Oops, just broke the fourth wall.”

                “I’m not going to even pretend that I know what that means,” said Surge.

                “Anyhow, I guess we’re supposed to fight.”

                “Why?”

                “Because the author wants us to and we’d probably be sitting in beach chairs by the shore sipping smoothies and talking about the weather without his influence.”

                “What author?”

                “Oops. Just broke the fourth wall again. Let’s just fight.”

                “Fair enough.”

                Surge ran at Lewa and tried to shock him with his lightning. Lewa instead dodged the blow and blew a gust of wind at him to throw him off balance. This worked better than he had anticipated; Surge accidentally zapped himself as a result from this ploy and was soon on the floor dancing.

                “I can hear dance music in the background—I guess it’s the music that the author was playing when he was writing this. Oops, I broke the fourth wall again.”

                Surge was left there, at this point unconscious, and Lewa wandered off.

                “What’s this?” he asked. “It looks like a spike-monster is trying to attack Lewa, conqueror of blue-shock lightning people.”

                On the floor below Lewa was a Brain crawling towards him.

                “Oh, they quick-come! There are a big-many now.”

                Brains were now surrounding him, and one managed to jump on his head.

                “Oh, no, what have you done to me, author? Or should I blame Greg Farshtey for creating this trend?”

                It was not long before Lewa was taken over.

Chapter VI

Stringer's Rocking Out

                Stringer was sitting down, his eyes closed, and listening to music. Pohatu, Toa of Stone, came along and lightly tapped Stringer on the shoulder.

                “Howdy, partner, do you by any chance know where I am?” he asked friendlily. “I was in the desert taking a siesta, and when I woke up, I was here.”

                “Oh, you’re on Siri, second moon of this one planet that is next to it,” answered Stringer.

                “Oh, thanks,” said Pohatu. “I don’t really know what’s happening. I guess I should stay here until I can regroup with my team.”

                “Well, that’s just fine,” replied Stringer. “Just come sit right down next to me and we can listen to some tunes.”

                “Why, thankee.”

Chapter VII

Revenge!

                When Tahu and Kopaka met up with Gali, they found that she was in a terrible mood.

                “What’s wrong?” ask Tahu

                “This weird green life form broke the tip off of my hook,” Gali replied.

                “I’m sorry to hear that.”

                “I’m not,” said Kopaka.

                “Well, sorry or not, she’s going to pay.”

                “Be my guest,” said Tahu.

                Water burst out of the cratered moon and created a giant wave. Within seconds Gali was lost beyond the horizon, riding on the rapids.

                “She’s angry,” remarked the Toa of Fire.

                A little while later, with a flash of green and blue, Breez was forced on the rocky ground, Gali slashing her with her hooks. Breez forced her off, threw the Toa of Water on the ground, and kept her there. Gali, however, opened the floodgates of the earth and barraged Breez with gallons upon gallons of water.

                “Well, isn’t that a beauty?” Tahu commented.

                “Let’s get this over with,” said Kopaka.

                He touched the water with his Ice Sword and it froze instantly, trapping Breez inside of it.

                “I could have done it,” remarked Gali.

                “Not quick enough,” replied Kopaka.

Chapter VIII

A Rather Strange Appearance

                Onua had rescued Lewa yet again. Arm over neck, Onua led the Toa of Air out of the Brain-infested area of Siri. Lewa groaned.

                “Onua?” he inquired weakly.

                “Yes?” the Toa of Earth answered.

                “I don’t remember a whole lot.”

                “Why’s that?”

                “Because, well, I just remember being in a dark-cave, and then everything being white. I don’t remember anything else.”

                “Maybe that’s because of me,” came an interjection from behind them.

                The two whirled around to find a figure in a red and black costume armed with several weapons.

                “Who are you?” they asked simultaneously.

                “The name’s Wade, but folks around pretty much everywhere call me Deadpool,” came the answer. “I think I may have by the slightest, itsy-bitsy chance accidentally possessed your green friend.”

                “Um… okay,” replied Onua. He then turned and whispered to Lewa, “Just ignore him and walk casually but rather quickly away.”

                And with that they left.

Chapter VIV

Uatu Watches

                “Hey, what’s that?” asked Tahu. Kopaka and Gali directed their gaze in the direction that he was referring to.

                Not too far away from them was a figure towering quite a few feet above the two. His head was quite disproportionate in regards to his body and he was clad in a blue cape with an equally disproportionate black collar.

                “Who in Mata Nui’s name are you?” inquired Gali. “And why is your head so big?”

                “My name is Uatu the Watcher,” replied the large figure, ignoring the last question. “Something indeed grave has happened here. You have somehow been teleported to another universe, and that section of the universe has been temporarily copied into a pocket dimension. I must find the doer of this wrong and put things—”

                Uatu was cut as an eruption of psychotic laughter came from not so far away.

                “I should have known,” he said in an amused yet grave fashion. Before Tahu, Kopaka, and Gali could say anything, Uatu was gone.

Epilogue

                “Hello, Wilson,” said Uatu.

                Deadpool whirled around and drew his katana.

                “Oh, hey, proportionally disturbing big dude! What’s up?” said Deadpool friendlily, putting his katana away.

                “I have sent those poor life forms back to their homes, also wiping their memories of anything that ever happened here. Now my question is: what did you do?”

                “Um… well, I got in a rocket ship, hit light speed, and ended up in a different universe. I guess those weird robot dudes got tied in somehow. When I landed, I hit the green guy and somehow got fused with him. At that point I had several revelations of how we’re tied into a larger universe where people write about us. When I got attacked by those weird brainy things, I got my body back.”

                “Well then,” said Uatu, “you’re going to have to get a timeout for interfering with universes. Afterwards I’m going to wipe your memory, but not before making you wish that you had never been here.”

The End

I wouldn't put it like that, just giving a stream of the "only" good years and then just cutting it all off abruptly at there. BIONICLE has good years and bad years. 2005 was a fairly shaky year for BIONICLE, as was 2009, but the only year that I could say really sucked was 2010. The best years were probably 2001-2003 (the "Golden Years"), and everything else that wasn't 2005, 2009, and 2010. Anyhow, that's my personal opinion.

I don't think they are. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't recall LEGO ever bringing one of their toy lines back except for with Ninjago, and they brought that back the following year after it had ended. LEGO seems to have ditched it completely, not referring to it ever again except for in the LEGO Movie (that cameo nearly gave me a heart attack). And while you may argue that their referring to it again in the LEGO Movie may point to their bringing it back, are they going to bring back all the other cameos that they mentioned? And are they going to introduce a new clown line?

Anyhow, it may go either way, but I'm pretty skeptical. Why in 2015 of all times would they bring it back now?

Despite this skepticism, I voted undecided.