GoSP

Discussion Topic – Profile Topic So, you think you have what it takes to be a Dark Hunter? To join and thrive among the most skilled and treacherous mercenaries the Matoran Universe has ever seen? Well line up, because they’re recruiting. You will play this game as a recent recruit / conscript to the Dark Hunters, but to make it to the big time, where the real adventure and treasure start flowing in, you will need to prove your worth. For the Dark Hunters, the recruitment process is like throwing a bunch of junk into energised protodermis: a lot will get destroyed or turn out useless, but with a bit of luck, they might just get something useful at the end of it. You will be put through your paces with a rigorous testing and training regime to bring you up to speed before you get your most important chance to prove yourself to The Shadowed One. You will be sent on your first mission with a team of other new recruits codenamed Project Protodermis. Your mission will be to retrieve the Makoki Stone from Metru Nui, where it is being held by Lhikan and the other Toa Mangai. The Shadowed One plans to split the stone into six pieces and auction off each one to the highest bidder. If you are successful, one half of the selling price will be split among the team, and each member will be presented with their own unique weapon as the final step in their initiation as a full Dark Hunter. Game Info: General: This game will take place in the year 1,999 BGC, just after the Toa/Dark Hunter War ended, on the islands of Odina and Metru Nui. After the first mission is completed, other missions may be given, depending on player interest and how long it takes to get to that point. Locations: The island of Odina is 55 kio long by 37.2 kio wide. For reference, that’s a bit bigger than Metru Nui both ways (47.6 kio by 24 kio). Most of the island is surrounded by steep cliffs, leading into a ring of mountains filled with rocky slopes and precipitous canyons. This makes entry very difficult and time-consuming, except by flight.To the northwest of the island, the cliffs are replaced by a putrid swampy marshland where mangrove thickets block access by sea. There is a way through to the island’s only dock, but it is hidden and well guarded.From the dock, a narrow path winds through an area where the mountains are lower and less treacherous. This provides the the main way through to the island’s interiorThe southern half of the island is taken up by the Dark Hunter Fortress, a maze of living stone that rearranges itself at the Shadowed One’s whim. The sheer scale of the fortress dwarfs all others: it is larger than the entire islands of Destral and Daxia combined.The city-sized stronghold isn’t just headquarters for the Dark Hunters, it holds everything. Factories, workshops, prisons, treasuries, command posts, training facilities, labs, storehouses, and quarters enough for every Dark Hunter and all of the enslaved Matoran who work on the island. Everything is carved from the massive, extinct volcano that once dominated the island.Ringing the outside of the fortress are a number of smaller defence towers, each connected to the main structure by covered tunnels. Each of these towers is a semi-autonomous base in its own right, and they are often used as headquarters for various projects of the Dark Hunters. One such compound will house Project Protodermis. The main features of the compound are (clockwise from top):The central tower, which is home to Nidhiki and a number of other Dark Hunters, but is off-limits to the trainees.The obstacle courses, where the trainees will meet a number of challenges and hone their skills.The barracks, where the trainees will live together, and spend time when they are not training.The slave quarters, home to the Matoran who work in and maintain the compound.The holding cells, used for rahi or troublesome recruits.A tunnel connecting the central tower back to the main Dark Hunter fortress.The combat arenaThe armouryThe storehouseCharacter Creation: Name: Codename: Species: Appearance: Powers: Backstory: Tools: Skills: You can create your own custom character for this game, or make this game the backstory for how one of the canon hunters came to join (within reason). Before play begins, each character will need to be approved by a GM. Characters that would break the game (like a Makuta) or whose presence would break the BIONICLE story (like a bohrok) will not be approved. Use your own common sense here. Rules:Follow the forum rulesPlay your bestDon’t be a jerk to other playersFollow the combat rules as outlined for the BZPRPG (Sections 3-5 and Common Sense)

Thanks judges, for your approvals and your well-wishes. I gather that Wyrd Bid Ful Araed isn't really around anymore, so I'll PM the forum leader about final approval.

Thanks for that Peele. I've added in the appropriate links.

Here is my application for Project Protodermis. The latest draft of the game has been in the planning topic for three days, as required, and no major flaws have been found in that time. I imagine that you judges may have some reservations about approving a game by a newcomer to the forum, such as myself. It takes some nouse to run a game, so handing the reigns to a novice would be a significant risk. Although I have RPed on other sites and think I am up to the task, anyone can claim that, and this may not reassure you. For this reason, I have recruited myself a Co-GM: someone who has logged plenty of time on this forum, someone who knows how you do things around here and which important toes should not be stepped on. I hope you will find this game acceptable, GoSP So, you think you have what it takes to be a Dark Hunter? To join and thrive among the most skilled and treacherous mercenaries the Matoran Universe has ever seen? Well line up, because they’re recruiting. You will play this game as a recent recruit / conscript to the Dark Hunters, but to make it to the big time, where the real adventure and treasure start flowing in, you will need to prove your worth. For the Dark Hunters, the recruitment process is like throwing a bunch of junk into energised protodermis: a lot will get destroyed or turn out useless, but with a bit of luck, they might just get something useful at the end of it. You will be put through your paces with a rigorous testing and training regime to bring you up to speed before you get your most important chance to prove yourself to The Shadowed One. You will be sent on your first mission with a team of other new recruits codenamed Project Protodermis. Your mission will be to retrieve the Makoki Stone from Metru Nui, where it is being held by Lhikan and the other Toa Mangai. The Shadowed One plans to split the stone into six pieces and auction off each one to the highest bidder. If you are successful, one half of the selling price will be split among the team, and each member will be presented with their own unique weapon as the final step in their initiation as a full Dark Hunter. Game Info: General: This game will take place in the year 1,999 BGC, just after the Toa/Dark Hunter War ended, on the islands of Odina and Metru Nui. After the first mission is completed, other missions may be given, depending on player interest and how long it takes to get to that point. Locations: The island of Odina is 55 kio long by 37.2 kio wide. For reference, that’s a bit bigger than Metru Nui both ways (47.6 kio by 24 kio). Most of the island is surrounded by steep cliffs, leading into a ring of mountains filled with rocky slopes and precipitous canyons. This makes entry very difficult and time-consuming, except by flight.To the northwest of the island, the cliffs are replaced by a putrid swampy marshland where mangrove thickets block access by sea. There is a way through to the island’s only dock, but it is hidden and well guarded.From the dock, a narrow path winds through an area where the mountains are lower and less treacherous. This provides the the main way through to the island’s interiorThe southern half of the island is taken up by the Dark Hunter Fortress, a maze of living stone that rearranges itself at the Shadowed One’s whim. The sheer scale of the fortress dwarfs all others: it is larger than the entire islands of Destral and Daxia combined.The city-sized stronghold isn’t just headquarters for the Dark Hunters, it holds everything. Factories, workshops, prisons, treasuries, command posts, training facilities, labs, storehouses, and quarters enough for every Dark Hunter and all of the enslaved Matoran who work on the island. Everything is carved from the massive, extinct volcano that once dominated the island.Ringing the outside of the fortress are a number of smaller defence towers, each connected to the main structure by covered tunnels. Each of these towers is a semi-autonomous base in its own right, and they are often used as headquarters for various projects of the Dark Hunters. One such compound will house Project Protodermis. The main features of the compound are (clockwise from top): The central tower, which is home to Nidhiki and a number of other Dark Hunters, but is off-limits to the trainees.The obstacle courses, where the trainees will meet a number of challenges and hone their skills.The barracks, where the trainees will live together, and spend time when they are not training.The slave quarters, home to the Matoran who work in and maintain the compound.The holding cells, used for rahi or troublesome recruits.A tunnel connecting the central tower back to the main Dark Hunter fortress.The combat arenaThe armouryThe storehouse Character Creation: Name: Codename: Species: Appearance: Powers: Backstory: Tools: Skills: You can create your own custom character for this game, or make this game the backstory for how one of the canon hunters came to join (within reason). Before play begins, each character will need to be approved by a GM. Characters that would break the game (like a Makuta) or whose presence would break the BIONICLE story (like a bohrok) will not be approved. Use your own common sense here. Rules: Follow the forum rulesPlay your bestDon’t be a jerk to other playersFollow the combat rules as outlined for the BZPRPG (Sections 3-5 and Common Sense)

Draft #2 is now live! As always, feedback is appreciated. So, you think you have what it takes to be a Dark Hunter? To join and thrive among the most skilled and treacherous mercenaries the Matoran Universe has ever seen? Well line up, because they’re recruiting. You will play this game as a recent recruit / conscript to the Dark Hunters, but to make it to the big time, where the real adventure and treasure start flowing in, you will need to proove your worth. For the Dark Hunters, the recruitment process is like throwing a bunch of junk into energised protodermis: a lot will get destroyed or turn out useless, but with a bit of luck, they might just get something useful at the end of it. You will be put through your paces with a rigorous testing and training regime to bring you up to speed before you get your most important chance to proove yourself to The Shadowed One. You will be sent on your first mission with a team of other new recruits codenamed Project Protodermis. Your mission will be to retrieve the Makoki Stone from Metru Nui, where it is being held by Lhikan and the other Toa Mangai. The Shadowed One plans to split the stone into six pieces and auction off each one to the highest bidder. If you are successful, one half of the selling price will be split among the team, and each member will be presented with their own unique weapon as the final step in their initiation as a full Dark Hunter. Game Info: General: This game will take place in the year 1,999 BGC, just after the Toa/Dark Hunter War ended, on the islands of Odina and Metru Nui. Assorted Cheeses After the first mission is completed, other missions may be given, depending on payer interest and how long it takes to get to that point. Locations: The island of Odina is 55 kio long by 37.2 kio wide. For reference, that’s a bit bigger than Metru Nui both ways (47.6 kio by 24 kio). Most of the island is surrounded by steep cliffs, leading into a ring of mountains filled with rocky slopes and precipitous canyons. This makes entry very difficult and time-consuming, except by flight.To the northwest of the island, the cliffs are replaced by a putrid swampy marshland where mangrove thickets block access by sea. There is a way through to the island’s only dock, but it is hidden and well guarded.From the dock, a narrow path winds through an area where the mountains are lower and less treacherous. This provides the the main way through to the island’s interiorThe southern half of the island is taken up by the Dark Hunter Fortress, a maze of living stone that rearranges itself at the Shadowed One’s whim. The sheer scale of the fortress dwarfs all others: it is larger than the entire islands of Destral and Daxia combined. The city-sized stronghold isn’t just headquarters for the Dark Hunters, it holds holds everything. Factories, workshops, prisons, treasuries, command posts, training facilities, labs, storehouses, and quarters enough for every Dark Hunter and all of the enslaved Matoran who work on the island. Everything is carved from the massive, extinct volcano that once dominated the island.Ringing the outside of the fortress are a number of smaller defence towers, each connected to the main structure by covered tunnels. Each of these towers is a semi-autonomous base in its own right, and they are often used as headquarters for various projects of the Dark Hunters. One such compound will house Project Protodermis. The main features of the compound are (clockwise from top): The central tower, which is home to Nidhiki and a number of other Dark Hunters, but is off-limits to the trainees.The obstacle courses, where the trainees will meet a number of challenges and hone their skills.The barracks, where the trainees will live together, and spend time when they are not training.The slave quarters, home to the Matoran who work in and maintain the compound.The holding cells, used for rahi or troublesome recruits.A tunnel connecting the central tower back to the main Dark Hunter fortress.The combat arenaThe armouryThe storehouse Character Creation: Name: Codename: Species: Appearance: Powers: Skills: Backstory: You can create your own custom character for this game, or make this game the backstory for how one of the canon hunters came to join (within reason). Before play begins, each character will need to be approved by the GM. Characters that would break the game (like a Makuta) or whose presence would break the BIONICLE story (like a bohrok) will not be approved. Use your own common sense here. Rules: · Follow the forum rules · Play your best · Don’t be a jerk to other players · Follow the combat rules as outlined for the BZPRPG

Hi Bionicle36. As someone who has also just suggested a game, let me pass on some of the feedback I received, with a bit of my own. For people who are playing the game, it helps to have more information about the world of the game than just lists of items. Could you include more information about the places in this new world, like where they are, what they are like and who lives there? Also, the plot could do with some more detailing. At the moment, it barely exists: we have a world and some characters who took over, but are they the antagonists, or just more worldbuilding? What will the player characters be doing? What are their goals, and how will they reach them? In short, what will the story of the game be? Finally, your rules got mixed in with the character sheet, so you'll want to separate those back into seperate sections.

I've just come back to BIONICLE after a loooong time away. I joined because I was lurking around the RPG forum (I played a bunch on other sites), saw an idea I liked and wanted to give it the thumbs up. Turns out I'm now responsible for making that game, so yeah, I guess I'll be staying for a while.

Thanks, everyone, for your feedback. You make a lot of good points, and the game will be stronger for them. Also, there was a lot of it, so I apologise of my responses are a little short (!). If I don't address one of your points directly, rest assured that I will bear it in mind during my revisions. So, with that out of the way: I can see the value in a single, east reference point for all of the game relevant information. Also, maps? Sure, I can do maps. Maps are fun. And helpful for reference. I am aware that not all members joined voluntarily, which is why I used "recruit / conscript" in the second paragraph. If you want to play a character who got dragged there, I am totally cool with that. This is a fair point but, as Silvan Haven pointed out above, just getting through the first mission could take quite some time. If, at the end of that time, people want to keep playing, I will happily set up more missions, and I will make this clear in my rewrites. You want a map, you got a map (in the future). I can't believe I overlooked the codenames. I'll definitely add a profile section for that.As for the species, yeah, I'll have to look at that in the character vetting process. Having a Makuta character would be both game-breaking and storyline ridiculous, so obviously they wouldn't get the thumbs up. Canon characters would have to go through the same standards for approval. nobody will get to play Kraata-Kal (overpowered) or Lariska (she joined before the war). Subterranean, on the other hand, is a reasonably powered character who was canonically mutated during the war, and was brought back to Odina at the end of the war to be recruited. He would be a perfect candidate for someone to pick up and play, and it might be a cool way to flesh out a background character. I don't expect there to be many (if any) canon characters that get played, but if someone has a favourite Dark Hunter that they would love to play, I'd like to keep the option open to them. I will attempt to work the phrase "assorted cheeses" into the game, somehow. I'm not really a Marvel fan, put point taken nonetheless! I think the altered state of Metru Nui is something that would be best experienced IC, or perhaps as a mission briefing just before we get there. There would be benefits to Odina being laid out from the start, but, well, I do love brevity and this game is starting to look looooong. So, that's all for now, and I'll go make all of those changes. In the mean time, more feedback / ideas are always welcome.

Yeah, it is pretty short. What key stuff is missing though? From my quick look at other RPGs, most of them seem to have lengthy sections detailing the story leading up to the game, the custom locations around the game, the groups involved, and the mechanics at play within it. For my idea though, there just isn't that much to say about those things. The preceding story is just the BIONICLE canon that I'm assuming everyone knows about. The locations are just Odina and later, Metru Nui. These are known places, just like the Dark Hunters and Toa Mangai are known groups. Should I reiterate a bunch of stuff about all of these, or just trust players to know their stuff, or else look it up on BS01? It looks like they all have a rules section though, and a banner, so I'll look at adding those. I'll also look at any more suggested additions that people bring up.

So, here goes nothing. What do you all think? Project Protodermis So, you think you have what it takes to be a Dark Hunter? To join and thrive among the most skilled and treacherous mercenaries the Matoran Universe has ever seen? Well line up, because they’re recruiting. You will play this game as a recent recruit / conscript to the Dark Hunters, but to make it to the big time, where the real adventure and treasure start flowing in, you will need to proove your worth. For the Dark Hunters, the recruitment process is like throwing a bunch of junk into energised protodermis: a lot will get destroyed or turn out useless, but with a bit of luck, they might just get something useful at the end of it. You will be put through your paces with a rigorous testing and training regime to bring you up to speed before you get your most important chance to proove yourself to The Shadowed One. You will be sent on your first mission with a team of other new recruits codenamed Project Protodermis. Your mission: to retrieve the Makoki Stone from Metru Nui, where it is being held by Lhikan and the other Toa Mangai. The Shadowed One plans to split the stone into six pieces and auction off each one to the highest bidder. If you are successful, one half of the selling price will be split among the team, and each member will be presented with their own unique weapon as the final step in their initiation as a full Dark Hunter. This game will take place in the year 1,999 BGC, just after the Toa/Dark Hunter War ended, on the islands of Odina and Metru Nui. Character Creation: Name: Species: Appearance: Powers: Skills: Backstory: You can create your own custom character for this game, or make this game the backstory for how one of the canon hunters came to join (within reason).

So what I'm hearing is... With a bit of work, that premise could actually work? I think I'll start on fleshing it out some.

Just dropping in here to register my interest in that game. I've been looking back over my old BIONICLE stuff recently, and came across the Birth of a Dark Hunter story, particularly the bit where Nidhiki is training some new recruits. That could be the premise: a group of new recruits/conscripts to the Dark Hunters come together and go through DH initiation and training, before being sent off on their first (team) mission: to retrieve the makoki stone that had recently been traded back to Lhikan. Does that sound good?