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Snoopy82

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Blog Entries posted by Snoopy82

  1. Snoopy82

    Hello!

    By Snoopy82,

    Hello everyone!
     
    I know it's been a million and a half years since I've been around here, but unfortunately I was dealing with some real-life-things so BZP took a backseat for a while. Thankfully, now all that has mostly passed over and school is done so I have literally nothing to do. So, I have decided to be active more. I don't know how many--if anyone--will remember me but hopefully I can make a positive impact while I'm back.
     
    I was going to make a post a while ago, saying I was sorry I was gone, but for a while I thought it was fitting that my last blog post was the last chapter of my last epic. That said, I looked it over before I started writing this. Whatever that is, unfortunately the BZ-Metru Story is complete garbage. Whoever wrote it should be ashamed of themselves!
     
    ...Ehehe well anyway to that end I really do not like what I have gone out on and because of that I have decided to go out in one last blaze of glory. Well, when I say go out I mean that presumptuously--I head out to college September 22, and I don't foresee much free time for BZP after that unfortunately :/ I'm going to a rather rigorous school so I doubt I could fit it in with all the other stuff I plan on getting involved in. But who knows, hopefully I can still be a little active after that!
     
    So, tonight, June 13 (well, it turned over into the 14th while I was typing), I have started writing one last epic. It is not going to be an action-centered story like the BZ-Metru Story was. Obviously there will still be action--and I anticipate lots of it--but I hope to make it much more focused on the characters and specifically the relationship between a core group.
     
    I hope to use this blog for (among just everyday thoughts and updates) the creation of that epic. I know what I want the setting to be, I know where I want it to start, and I know where I want it to end. I don't know how to get there quite yet. My goal is to have this thing be MAX twenty chapters, roughly 2000 to 3000 words each--even more. 10-12 longer chapters would be much more preferred. I intend to start posting July 14th and post one chapter each Sunday from then until I'm done (obviously I'll adjust as needed).
     
    So, for anyone who's made it this far, I ask one question to get things rolling: let's say you're on Mata-Nui. You have the original six Turaga: Vakama, Nuju, Whenua, Nokama, Onewa, and Matau (I'm proud of myself, I remembered 4 of 6 ). Which one is you're least favorite? Which one would you least like to have as a leader?
     
    Thanks, and makes sure to leave any comments, suggestions for the epic, or general thoughts in the comments.
  2. Snoopy82

    Bzprpg

    By Snoopy82,

    I've joined once more. If you're interested in some interaction with a crazy guy obsessed Gollum-style with a box, go to Ko-Wahi!
     
    Also, I've discovered possibly the BEST feature ever. When using the quick reply, if a new post, it TELLS YOU. AND SHOWS YOU THE POST!
  6. Snoopy82

    Curse You Greg

    By Snoopy82,

    Please people.
     
    It's a comedy. Not a death threat or insult to your mother.
     
    It's on an internet website, not personally related to your life.
     
    It won't start a nuclear holocaust. But neither will flaming people who don't like it!
     
    Do I like it? No- but the one thing I like a lot less is the flaming that has been going on surrounding it. Is it really worth getting worked up over?
     
    This is a plea to let cooler heads prevail. If you don't like it, or do like it, or simply don't care, whatever you think, don't get angry over it!
     
    BZPower is a family- but please, let's not turn into the Montegues and the Capulets over a little comedy, okay?
     
    Please note that any/all comments will be closely monitored and will be deleted/locked if necessary.
     
    -Snoopy82, CCC Curator
  8. Snoopy82
    The BZ-Metru Story, Chapter 31
    Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
    Sam Ewing
     
    Christmas Morning—a time for young children to wake up early and find that presents have magically appeared under the tree, a gift from Hapori Tohu. For parents, it is a time of peace and solitude from the daily hustle and bustle of normal life. For armies warring against each other, it is a much needed respite and a time to lay down arms. For leaders of two warring empires, it is a time for planning.
     
    That is exactly what Black Six, Toaraga, and Boneseiii were doing. All three looked depleted, haggard, and exhausted. None of the three was dressed in leisure clothes; not even Christmas could afford them that luxury. All were dressed in what was now their normal attire, military uniforms. Their setting was an officer’s tent on the border of Storyline and Theories, one of the few Forums that remained under BZ-Metru control.
     
    “There is only one option,” said Toaraga, who was sitting at a table holding a map of the country. “I will take my forces to General Discussion, while Bonesiii remains here to defend S&T.”
     
    Bonesiii, sitting nearby, rolled his eyes. “I’ve told you, that idea would be detrimental to us. The better idea would be for us to split them up, which is a lot better than them splitting us up like you suggest.”
     
    “And remind me just how leaving your OWN forum defenseless would be better than defending both it and the capital?”
     
    “Just look at the situation: Mahalis’ forces have taken every forum from BBC to the edge of the Library, and they just flat out destroyed that. This is the last forum we have control of, other than the Capital. We need to change that. By remaining here, we’re blocking them from further advancement. Hopefully we can stalemate them enough to allow Smeagol’s newly amassed BS01 force to overtake some of the BZR’s weaker forums, such as LGD or the Marketplace.”
     
    “You’re assuming we’ll be able to hold them back long enough! You’ve barely been able to keep them from overrunning the continent!”
     
    “Both of our armies have not yet been together like they are now, so I’m betting that with our combined strength, we can at least hold them back, if not push them back. It’s a win win situation, to use the cliché.”
     
    Toaraga sighed and looked to the heavens. “What do you think, Six?”
     
    Black Six, who had silently been sitting on a couch through the debate, silently wished that he had not been drawn in. He preferred to listen and make a decision intelligently, not argue. “Both sides have merits. Remind me what the details of your plan are, Toaraga?”
     
    Toaraga smiled smugly at Bonesiii, as if to say ‘he chose me—’ “Our intelligence has told us that Mahalis has put all his bets into offense, and that the only credible fighting force he has is the one on the other side of the valley. It contains ten thousand troops, I’m told. My army contains four thousand troops, and
    Bonesiii’s has eleven thousand. However, just as with the BZR, that’s pretty much the extent of our forces until Smeag gets here from BS01. Instead of gambling and waiting for him, I suggest I take my four thousand up to GD to defend it, while Bonesiii leaves his troops here.”
     
    Bonesiii smirked. “And if those ten thousand troops attack your four thousand?”
     
    “Easy, you attack them from behind and we destroy them.”
     
    “Those are terrible odds! It’s a two day journey from here to GD, and that’s one man, not four thousand or ten thousand, and going through Books and Movies! It would take you at least ten days go through the Library District to avoid their army, and you’d be setting yourself up for an ambush! There’s no
    way we could get there in time!”
     
    “Well I don’t see you coming up with anything better, so I—”
     
    “My plan is fine, certainly better than yours!”
     
    “Shut up, let’s see what Six has to say.”
     
    The two generals turned their heads to their commander, awaiting the final decision.
     
    Six looked away. Personally, he thought both men should spend less time arguing like jealous two year olds and spend more time planning, because he honestly thought both plans just wouldn’t work. There had to be another option. Both men were wrong in assuming that it would take time for Smeagol to get there, as Smeag had called to say his one thousand troops amassed in BS01 would arrive in S&T by morning. They would provide an adequate decoy… perhaps…
     
    “Gentlemen,” said the administrator. His tone was heavy, weighed down by the thousands of lives that hung on his decision. “Amass your troops. We march south immediately.”
     
    “South?” both generals exclaimed, shocked and surprised. Neither had proposed such an idea.
     
    “South. By morning we will be on the southern edge of the library, and preparing for our next offensive.”
     
    “But… offensive? Where?” asked Toaraga, perplexed by the sudden decision.
     
    “CoT. If it really is as undefended as you say, Toaraga, it should be ours by this time tomorrow. From there, we have re-established our stronghold on the continent and will be able to retake the smaller forums.”
     
    The two generals were speechless. Black Six stood from his chair and exited the tent, pausing long enough to speak: “Come on, we march within the hour.”
     

    __________ 
    Ninjo was in a completely different situation. He was not in a tent, for one thing, as Mahalis had decided to occupy the city district of Books and Movies rather than camp outside. Ninjo sat behind the desk of the FL’s office, which had formerly been used by the predisposed Takuta-Nui. Mahalis and Bfahome, is top generals, sat in chairs facing him.
     
    “Gentlemen,” said Ninjo, folding his hands on the desk. “The time for talk and petty espionage is done.”
     
    Bfahome twitched slightly. “Why, sir?”
     
    “All of our attempts at espionage have failed. EW and his assassination attempts have landed him in prison. Toa Velox has defected and disappeared. Our only attempts at such trickery that have succeeded have been because of the stupidity of others.”
     
    These words struck deep into the heart of Bfahome. For the entirety of the war, he had been in charge of every non-war related attack against BZ-Metru. The fact that Ninjo was ranting on his failures could only mean one thing—he was being replaced. But Bfahome knew that arguing with his leader would only result in a fate worse than whatever was already planned.
     
    “So I have decided,” continued Ninjo, staring at his folded hands, “to dissolve our intelligence agency, and to promote you, Bfahome, to General of the Armies of the BZR.”
     
    Both Mahalis and Bfahome nearly gagged, Mahalis out of ungrateful shock; Bfahome out of joyous surprise. Mahalis quickly gathered himself together.
     
    “May I ask why sir? If the intelligence department has had such failure, that is…”
     
    “You have no room to speak of the failure of others,” Ninjo replied with a sharp tone. “While it is true that you have had some success in this eastern offensive, you have made one critical mistake which will cost us thousands of lives and dollars.”
     
    “…what?” whispered Mahalis, horrified.
     
    “I took a moment to speak to our scouts earlier today. They reported to me that two hours ago, the forces of BZ-Metru deserted their campsite and began to march south toward the Library border.”
     
    “And?” Mahalis’ face turned a shade of red not unlike that of a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar.
     
    “…and they also told me that they gave you the exact same information naught but two hours ago.”
     
    Mahalis sunk into his chair. Bfahome resisted every urge in his body to burst out laughing, instead keeping a stone cold grimace.
     
    “So you must be able to understand these personnel transactions. They are not my decision entirely, I phoned Dimensioneer an hour ago and he suggested it to me. He is not happy with you, Mahalis, and as soon as this campaign is over he wishes to speak with you—alone. As for you, Bfahome, what to do with our amassed forces is your decision.”
     
    Bfahome shot a smug glance at Mahalis—fast enough to go undetected by Ninjo—before answering. “If BZ-Metru is going south… then it must be that they are going to attack CoT.”
     
    Ninjo nodded.
     
    “…So we can lure them into a trap, by allowing them to be engaged by Kex’s troops before surrounding them from behind.”
     
    Ninjo smiled, a rarity. “Excellent, Bfahome. Though why would you want to destroy BZ-Metru?”
     
    Both Bfahome and Mahalis were shocked, not sure of what had just happened. Their minds raced, before they separately came to the same conclusion. A conclusion involving a private discussion with Dimensioneer, and about the virus in Ninjo’s system…
     
    Ninjo was still smiling, wondering why neither spoke. He opened his own mouth to speak, but before a sound came out he closed his eyes and shuddered violently. His eyes once again flickered open, and the smile vanished from his lips.
     
    “What are the two of you staring at?” he barked, at which the two looked away. “We have an army to move. Leave me.”
     

    __________ 
    Rama-Swarm had no family. So on Christmas Day, he had no choice but to remain in his office turned apartment in the Admin’s Palace, catching up on much needed sleep. He had spent much of the last week finishing designs for a new Bohrok style gun—bringing Bionicle onto the battlefield—so sleep had been rendered a luxury.
     
    But despite his lack of friendship on a holiday, he enjoyed his solitude. So it was a bit of an annoyance to be summoned to Dimensioneer’s private residence at eleven o’clock at night, for reasons unknown.
     
    “Do sit down, Rama,” said Dimensioneer when he opened his apartment door. Rama complied and sat down on the living room sofa.
     
    “So, you rang?” said Rama, short winded as ever.
     
    “Yes, I am sorry for interrupting your rest Rama. But I have grave news for you.”
     
    Rama nodded. “What is it?”
     
    “Do you remember the conversation we had back when this all started, about how the virus in Ninjo has been weakening?”
     
    “Yes.”
     
    “And how we must kill him to continue with our plans?”
     
    “Yes…”
     
    “The time is now.”
     
    Rama looked up at his leader, perplexed.
     
    “We have to kill him now?”
     
    “Not immediately, no. But if events play out as I believe they will…” Dimensioneer paused, gazing out the wall sized window at the starry sky above. “Ninjo will return to General Discussion within a week. And when he does…”
     
    He turned to his friend and confidant. “I want you to kill him.”
     
    “How will I know he is here?”
     
    “It will be unmistakable. Now go, that is all I wished to speak about. Go get your rest.”
     
    Rama nodded obediently and left. Dimensioneer smiled bitter-sweetly as he left, knowing full well that he had just sentenced his close friend to an unfortunate, but necessary, demise.
     

    __________ 
    Review Topic
  11. Snoopy82

    Hhmmm

    By Snoopy82,

    I really feel like I'm neglecting this site. I come and look around every day, but I haven't posted in forever. Ughhh...
  14. Snoopy82

    School Schedule

    By Snoopy82,

    Chamber Choir
    Honors American Literature
    Religion II
    Honors Algebra II and Geometry
    Latin II
    Lunch
    AP European History
    Honors Chemistry
     
    Easy classes are italicized. Classes which will destroy my soul are bold.
  15. Snoopy82

    Slow

    By Snoopy82,

    It's 7:37 AM EST.
     
    There are 200 people online right now, only 29 of them members.
     
    Why in the world is it taking so long to load? ><
  16. Snoopy82
    Books have the same enemies as people: fire... and their own content.
    Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) (Paraphrased)
     
    The BZ-Metru Story Chapter 30
     
    Schizo Kaita was un-happy.
     
    All his life he had dreamed of getting to where he was: Forum Leader of the Library. Not just comedies- the whole library. The years of hard work,
    determination and sacrifice had paid off. He had scores of minions working for him: from the once great Hahli Husky, to the lowly Snoopy82.
     
    But still, he was unhappy. And he knew why:
     
    Smeagol4 was still alive.
     
    Ever since the… incident, in the cars with Smeag, Schizo had hated his very living being. No one could defeat Schizo. Not a soul alive had ever defeated him… which was why Smeag had to die.
     
    But how?
     
    Death by monkeys… was the first thought, brought up by Schizo. Kaita was quick to dismiss this idea.
     
    No. There is no such thing as death by monkeys. We must kill him using our weapons at hand, he thought, motioning to the fireaxe on the desk beside him. A knock at the office door made him jump slightly. Or perhaps…
     
    “Come in,” he said, the soft voice of Kaita emanating forth. The door swung open, revealing a very dazed and haggard Hahli Husky. The harsh, deep voice of Schizo: “Oh, it’s you. What do you want?”
     
    “Sir,” said HH, her tone icy, “Smeagol4 is on the line.”
     
    Schizo’s eyes widened. Almost subconsciously, his fingers gripped the hilt of the fireaxe and started to twitch excitedly. “Excellent. Direct the call through to us.”
     
    HH left the room, slamming the door behind her. Schizo pressed the “receive” button on his desk phone.
     
    “Hello?” said the voice of Smeag.
     
    “Hello there, Smeagol,” said Kaita’s voice, overtaking Schizo for the moment. “It has been a while.”
     
    “What do you want, Schizo?”
     
    “We want… a pig.”
     
    Smeag was obviously taken aback. “W- what?”
     
    “A pig. Tell us Smeagol, what do we do with pigs?”
     
    “We… eat them?”
     
    “We kill them. We lead them to the slaughter house and we kill them,” said Schizo, reflecting on the subtle irony of the situation.
     
    “But- what-”
     
    “We have two pigs, Smeagol. One will die if you are not here within one hour.”
     
    He added a pause for dramatic effect.
     
    “We have named this pig Hahli Husky.”
     
    A hushed gasp on the other end told Schizo that his words had had the desired effect.
     
    “But… who is the other--”
     
    “One hour,” interrupted Schizo, before pushing the “end call” button on the receiver. Relaxing in his chair, Schizo smiled-- his second, and more plump, pig was willingly returning to the slaughter.
     

    *** 
    Fifty-nine minutes later, Smeagol4 had still not arrived. Schizo had been sitting patiently in his office, staring blankly at the door, waiting for it to open. He glanced up to the clock on the wall, which began to chime- it had been one hour.
     
    Showtime, thought the voice of Schizo. He turned on his intercom. “Hahli, would you come in here please?”
     
    He stood up, fished something out of his desk drawer, and turned to face the window behind him. He was sure to strike what would from the rear appear to be a dramatic pose.
     
    He heard the door click open and slam shut. “What do you want… sir?”
     
    “Freshly cooked bacon,” said Schizo, turning slowly to face HH. He aimed a gun directly at her head. “But as the intended pig is late, you will have to do.”
     
    Several things happened at once: The door flung open. A man burst in, colliding with HH. Both tumbled to the ground. Schizo fired the gun. HH screamed.
     
    As the dust settled, all three parties stumbled to their feet, dazed. Schizo was the first to realize what had happened: Smeagol4 had arrived. He lunged over the desk, in the same motion grabbing the fire axe which lay on top and dropping the gun.
     
    He crashed into HH and Smeag, all three collapsing once again. HH quickly pried herself away from the pile, fearing what might happen next. She pushed herself tightly against the wall.
     
    The two men grappled on the floor, neither able to gain the upper hand- until Schizo made his fatal error. He turned on the fireaxe, as opposed to simply using the blade. With a blaze of sparks, the now molten blade was embedded by Schizo into the floor where Smeags neck had been moments earlier.
     
    This caused the carpet to burst into flames. Schizo, realizing what he had done, made a beeline for the door and exited into the hall. This left HH and Smeag to deal with the now-inferno.
     
    “What do we do?” yelled HH over the roar of flames. Smeag looked about franticly for a fire extinguisher, but to no avail. Instead he settled for Schizo’s abandoned gun.
     
    “Start the alarm and get this place evacuated. I’m going after Schizo.”
     
    HH nodded and the pair left the flaming office. Outside in the antechamber they were greeted by a shocked Senjo.
     
    “He went that way,” she said, indicating the emergency stairwell. In one smooth leap Smeag hopped down several steps at once and proceeded. When he reached the end of the stairs, the Comedies landing, he caught a glance of the door swinging shut and ran inside.
     
    He stopped short as soon as he entered- before him stood an army of troll, spammers, and flamers. Blithering cool dudes, the bane of HH and Smeag’s existence… and what had driven Schizo insane.
     
    Smeag pressed forward against the tide of bodies. Though the noobs posed no real threat to his safety, they provided an effective obstacle while Schizo made his getaway.
     
    Finally he broke through to the other side of the human-roadblock and proceeded down the main staircase. He passed Epics, for one glance told him the entire floor was ablaze. He knew his best bet to catch the madman was the ground floor- Short Stories.
     
    Smeag entered the ground floor, shocked at what he found- Schizo Kaita, standing on the front desk, hacking away at everything in sight. All around him were burning book shelves.
     
    “STOP!” yelled Smeag. His voice was eerily muffled by the sound of nearby flames.
     
    Schizo whirled from where he stood, looking like a five year old caught stealing cookies. The two stared into each other awkwardly, neither dropping the gaze.
     
    “Schizo… stop. It’s not worth it.”
     
    No movement.
     
    “We can find help for you Schizo. You can become one with yourself- and you can join us. Forget Ninjo. Come back to BZ-Metru!”
     
    Schizo blinked but otherwise remained still.
     
    “For God’s sake Schizo, the building will burn down any minute! Answer!”
     
    Schizo blinked twice, cocked his head to the side, and grimaced. He never once broke his glance.
     
    “I… You know what I would like, Smeagol?” he said. Smeag sighed with relief.
     
    “What?”
     
    “I like my bacon burnt to a crisp!” he yelled, lunging once more at Smeag. Smeag dove out of the way and grabbed the first thing he could find- the stand of
    a now singed lamp. He parried Schizo’s second blow with it, and jumped onto the desk.
     
    Schizo swung his axe like a mad man, driving Smeag back to the end of the desk- and finally off of it. Smeag collapsed backwards into a bookcase. Schizo jumped on top of him and rose the axe.
     
    “FINALLY!” he yelled- but that was as far as he got! With a horrifically loud groan, the ceiling at the other end of the building began to collapse. Flame engulfed the hall, spreading fast.
     
    Smeag and Schizo were knocked back by the force of the blast, as the whole building shook. Smeag regained his consciousness quickly.
     
    “SCHIZO?” he yelled into the flames. No reply.
     
    “SCHIZO, THIS ISN’T A GAME ANY MORE! GET OUT!”
     
    No reply.
     
    Smeagol4 left the burning building, not sure whether to be sad at the loss of what had been a long time friend or a murderer. Outside he met and hugged a crying Hahli Husky. Nearby were crowds of evacuated patrons of the library. All watched in horror as the forum that had been their lives burned down.
     
    Review Topic
     
     
  17. Snoopy82

    Lol

    By Snoopy82,

    I find it hilarious that this topic was closed only after three and a half pages were added, it had a run a top the Top Ten Hot Topics, and was number 2 for a while, and was surely reported by many dozens of members.
     
    The topic about topics dying... never died!
  18. Snoopy82

    Toa Velox

    By Snoopy82,

    After much work, procrastination, and constipation just posting this, may I present my SS Olympics entry.

    _____ 
    The life of a spy is not an easy one. Every day, they must risk their lives for what they believe is the greater good, AKA the whims of the politicians for which they work. They commit unspeakable acts- thievery, treachery, and yes, sometimes even murder- all to aid their government and to feed their families. The latter is not an easy task, for despite the horrors which they undergo a spy is paid as little as a common soldier. There is also the very real and undeniable possibility every waking moment of their lives that they will be caught and executed or worse.
     
    All of this adds up to one simple question, a question that even the hardiest of agents of espionage finds himself asking: Is it really worth it?
     
    Toa Velox began asking that question of himself the second he left the Admin'ss Palace.
     
    Why the Karzahni am I doing this? He thought to himself as he walked down the main street of General Discussion. All around him, dozens of members hurried about their business, unaware of Velox and the crimes he was committing with every step he took.
     
    The war between BZ-Metru and the Bionicle Zone Republic has not been kind to Velox. Being a forum mentor meant that he would instantly become an officer in the BZ-Metru army- but thanks to a small technicality in his health record, he had been rejected and sent to the library to work with his longtime mentor, Hahli Husky.
     
    But even that had failed him. Due to a misunderstanding of the rules, he was fired by Hahli Husky and forced to live on the streets. However, Velox was a resolute man. His head was full of ideas of fame and glory, as all of us dream of when we are young, and was determined to make something of himself. He would not confine himself and his family to a life of poverty.
     
    So he took what he thought was the best route available: He went to work as a spy for Ninjo, head administrator of the Bionicle Zone Republic. The salary was meager, but at that point he was not about to complain. After all, shortly after, he took a second job which paid more than his current job.
     
    He began moonlighting as a spy for Black Six.
     
    He spent the last month of his life, shuttling information between Ninjo and Six, each of whom believed that Velox was truly faithful to him. He was living what could truly be called a double life: He was an illegal citizen of the BZR, because he was also a citizen, also illegal for the same reason, of BZ-Metru. And while Ninjo had not yet expressed any suspicion of his activities as a double agent, Black Six had. Which leads us to where we find Velox, walking down the street of General Discussion.
     
    It's just a simple info swap, there's nothing to be afraid of, he reassured himself. You've done stuff like this a million times.
     
    And yet the young man could not shake the awful feeling inside himself that he was being set up. Black Six had personally requested that Velox go to the BZR's island prison off the coast of sets to get information from another agent already stationed there.
     
    The whole thing reeked of suspicion to Velox. Never before had he been asked to travel that far into the depths of BZR territory, and there were several other agents who had. Why pick Velox? But then again, who was he to complain? For all he knew, this was a simple test of his competence, a promotion and raise waiting for a completed job.
     
    He reached the "official" border crossing with relative ease- a government id will get you onto any bus or subway you want for free. The next step was to cross. Ninjo had not been nearly as strict as Six had about border security, thus BZR patrols were rare compared to BZ-Metru's guards. He slipped into the BZR controlled outskirts of GD unnoticed.
     
    When the boundaries between BZ-Metru and the BZR had been hastily drawn up, a curious addition to the BZR had been made. Whether the pen slipped on the official map, or whether it was intentional, no one knew; but a small sliver of the ring shaped forum had been granted to the BZR.
     
    The difference was immediately noticeable and very obvious- compared to the rest of GD, and the rest of the BZR, it was a slum. Some rather undesirable characters had made their home there, which kept Velox on alert. Once again, however, he passed through with little trouble.
     
    Then came his first problem.
     
    To get to his destination, the best route was to go south through Lego General Discussion. Unfortunately for him, LGD was one of the less popular forums, and as such consisted mostly of vast, open grassland. There was a small city situated towards the north, but it was out of Velox's way. It would take him at least two days to walk.
     
    So there he stood, weighing his options: He could walk, and risk missing his contact at the prison; he could go south through Completely Off Topic, which would be much more risky in terms of secrecy; or he could hijack a passing car and use that.
     
    He chose the third option, for at that moment an old pickup truck came barreling up the road toward where Velox stood. He stuck out his thumb, formulating a plan as the truck slowed to a halt in front of him.
     
    "Need a lift, mate?" asked the driver. He spoke with a heavy Australian accent.
     
    "Erm, yeah, I'm headed in toward LGD, and my car broke down a while back," lied Velox.
     
    "Oh yes, I thought I saw a broken down car... well, I'm headed toward LGD myself, hop in."
     
    Velox climbed into the old truck, which was at least thirty years old. As he closed the side door he casually put his hand in his coat pocket and clutched at the handle of a knife which he had stashed there.
     
    "So, why you headed to LGD?"
     
    "Um Bohrok Mason society meeting."
     
    "Really? Well I'll be, I didn't know they was having a meeting there... what's your rank?
     
    Velox froze for a second. "2nd class."
     
    The driver cast a suspicious glance toward Velox. "Oh... well, then you must know the head second classman... what was his name again?"
     
    Velox understood that the jig was up and that he had to act fast. He pulled the knife out of his pocket and in one smooth move transferred it from his right to left hand, while held it under the driver's neck.
     
    "Okay, listen- you're going to pull over to the side of the road and get out. Youre going to lie down on the grass and wait till I'm gone before you get up."
     
    "But-"
     
    Velox pushed the knife in closer.
     
    "Geez, alright."
     
    The truck motored to a stop. Cautiously the driver exited the truck, and Velox did the same. Unlike Velox, who started walking down the grassy knoll on the side of the hill, the driver ran toward the poorly paved road, trying to flag down a passing car for help.
     
    Velox reacted quickly, running up behind him and clubbing him on the back with the knife handle. The drive crumpled to the ground out cold.
     
    "You didn't listen," said Velox as he rolled the driver down the hill. He fished through his jacket pockets, taking out an ID, cell phone, and half a sandwich. One look at the ID told Velox that he had just stolen the car of Apollo, a forum assistant.
     
    He got back into the truck and started it up. The drive would take several hours, but at least he now had a few things going for him: He was posing as a BZR forum assistant, he had transportation, and he had lunch. He took a bite of the sandwich.
     

    *** 
    Only one thing now stood between Velox and the prison that was his goal: the ocean.
     
    He had made it to Sets, passing through checkpoints using the fake ID badge and making quick getaways. He knew that by now, almost a day and a half later, Apollo had raised some sort of alarm about Velox. He didn't have much time.
     
    Velox stood, staring out across the open sea, knowing that somewhere on the dark blue waters was the BZR Maximum Security Prison. He ran over his options in his mind: He could swim and soon after drown. He could somehow get caught and taken there. He could steal a boat. Or maybe
     
    He decided on his actions and acted quickly. He walked to the local marina and, using the stolen ID, 'confiscated' a boat. He sped off into the ocean, heading in what he thought to be the general direction of the prison.
     
    Velox's one hope came true: A patrol boat. He sped up the boat, directing it toward the patrol, until he was almost crashed into it- and he slammed on the brakes seconds before a collision.
     
    The two members in the boat look confused, flash the alarm lights quickly, then one of them stood up and jumped over to Velox's boat.
     
    "You know how fast you were going, bud?"
     
    "I was hoping you could tell me."
     
    The man's face turned a slight shade of purple. "You were going 40. Limit's 20. You almost crashed into a federal vehicle."
     
    "Sorry, I do that sometimes."
     
    "You lookin for trouble, buddy?"
     
    "Yeah, I was actually."
     
    "That's it, you're under arrest. Let me see your ID."
     
    Velox fished Apollo's ID out of his coat pocket. The officer looked at it and smiled.
     
    "Who'd you think you're trying to fool? Heh, your loss, just another charge. Come on, we're taking you back to the main land."
     
    Velox's eyes widened as he let the officer place a set of handcuffs on his hands. The officer pulled him- quite roughly- into the other boat.
     
    "Wait! My... my real ID is in the left pocket."
     
    The officers looked at each other. The one who had arrest Velox pulled the real ID out of Velox's pocket. After he showed it to his partner, they looked at each other, both understanding.
     
    "He's a spy. Take him to the island."
     
    The boat sped off in the opposite direction of the mainland. Unbeknownst to the two officers, Velox smiled.
     

    *** 
    The second the three men stepped onto the land where the prison was, Velox acted. He shifted all of his weight to the left, knocking the left guard into the ground. As the right guard came careening toward him, Velox spun out of the way and, while the guard's back was turned, put his handcuffs over his neck.
     
    You're going to take out the keys and take these off me. Youre going to wait three minutes before you some inside."
     
    The guard reached down to his belt for the keys. Velox slackened his arms. The guard realized his opportunity and pulled a gun out of its holster. He tried to spin around to aim at Velox, who recognized the action and grabbed the gun arm. The struggled, the gun pointed in the air, neither man able to gain an advantage-
     
    A single shot rang through the air. Time seemed to freeze.
     
    A sickened look crept across the guards face. His grip on Velox's arms slackened, and he crumpled to the ground.
     
    Velox's eyes widened. Murder. He knew that he had to get the job done, but...
     
    The unconscious guard on the ground twitched. Velox realized that he could risk staying there. He stuck the gun in his pocket and ran off up the path into the woods. He had seen a castle far off in the distance, which he judged to be the prison.
     
    Through the woods he ran, knowing that behind him somewhere was the other guard who by now had discovered the murder. He didnt know what he would do when he got to the prison, only that somehow he needed to get inside.
     
    He soon came to a pair of massive wooden doors. Velox stared up at them, wondering how he was supposed to get through them. Then the solution came to them.
     
    "OPEN UP!" he yelled, pounding on them, "NINJO IS DEAD!"
     
    Silence. Slowly the right door crept open enough for the head of a man to peer through.
     
    "...Dead?" he whispered.
     
    "Yes. I bring orders for the warden."
     
    "But Nikira didn't say anything about... I... come in."
     
    The door opened further and Velox stepped inside. He started to progress down the hall toward a flight of steps-
     
    "Wait. I need to see your ID first."
     
    Velox winced. He didn't want things to get messier than they already were, but if it were necessary...
     
    "No you can't. But, you can take me to Xander004."
     
    Velox spun around slowly, taking the gun out of his pocket and aiming it at the man. The man's eyes widened.
     
    "What- I- who are you?"
     
    "That doesn't matter. Take me to Xander004."
     
    Silently they marched down the hall and then down the steps, each weary of each other. Velox nervously kept the gun aimed at the guard's back the whole way down. They finally stopped their descent and entered a long, narrow hall. It was poorly lit. Arriving at an old wooden door, the man cautiously opened it and ushered Velox in.
     
    "No. You first."
     
    The guard gave a small sigh and entered. Velox followed. What he saw made him nearly drop the gun: Nikira, and her aide Arch-Angel, sitting at a desk staring at him.
     
    "Velox?" asked Nikira, slightly confused. "What are you doing here?"
     
    Velox whimpered inaudibly. Nikira was one of the few who knew Velox was a spy for the BZR... or at least that he was supposed to be. And here he was, holding a gun to one of her guard's head.
     
    "I... I'm on a mission from Ninjo. He has commanded me to inspect the prison."
     
    As soon as the words left his mouth Velox realized his mistake. The guard spoke: "But you just said Ninjo was dead!"
     
    Velox rammed himself into the guard, both of them crashing into the door frame. The gun still in Velox's hand exploded with a shot as the two were leaning against each other. Velox felt a sharp pain in his left arm and stumbled back. His left sleeve was now starting to turn a horrid shade of red.
     
    He pushed himself away from the fallen guard and ran into the hall. Behind him he could hear someone yell "Raise the alarm! Lock the gates!" Velox didn't hesitate. He careened up the steps without stopping. When he reached the top hallway with the gate, he raced past the gate- now heavily guarded- he didn't stop and continued until he reached another stairway leading up. The guards in front of the gate raced after him, firing shots that just missed Velox's head.
     
    Velox ran up the step until he could run no more: Not only because the awful pain in his arm was causing him to lose feeling, but because he ran out of steps. He burst through a wooden door to find himself at the top of the tallest tower of the castle, looking out over the raging ocean.
     
    As he peered out over the stone turrets, he barely heard the door crashing open behind him nor the shouts of guards. He was too fixated on the several hundred foot drop, and what he could possibly do to escape.
     
    Slowly he turned, fearing what he would see. It was Arch Angel, behind whom were about a dozen guards.
     
    "Toa Velox, you are under arrest for impersonating a BZR staff member, carjacking, conspiracy to act against Ninjo, murder, and assaulting a BZR employee. What do you have to say?"
     
    Velox took one slow, long look behind him. Why the Karzahni am I doing this?]
     
    He stared Arch Angel straight in the eye.
     
    "See you in ######."
     
    With those final words, he let himself fall backwards, plummeting end over end, before disappearing into the murky depths.
  19. Snoopy82
    If you've been redirected here, it's most likely because you've been reviewed- by me! Use this guide as a tool for understanding the number rating attached to my review.
     
    1/10 Utter Spam. Never to be used.
     
    2/10 Slightly better than spam. Barely coherent story and grammar of a three year old. Never to be Used.
     
    3/10 The story has a defined beginning middle and end as well as some essence of believable characters, but the grammar is still a mess.
     
    4/10 Your grammar still has a few mistakes, but it's getting better. The story is organized and understandable, and the characters, while not the most fleshed out, are taking form.
     
    5/10 The average story.
     
    6/10 The plot is getting better and the characters are almost there- grammar at this point can be excused, and more effort into plot.
     
    7/10 Slightly above average.
     
    8/10 Above average.
     
    9/10 A very good story. Grammar is nearly perfect, with just the occasional typo. The characters are believable and real, and the plot is original, enticing, and well written.
     
    10/10 The best possible ranking. Story is original and extremely well written, characters are as real as the dirty sock on the floor over there, and you have grammar that would make Tolstoy blush. Congratulations!
  23. Snoopy82

    The Fishing Trip

    By Snoopy82,

    One day, two Matoran decided to go fishing. One was a Ta-Matoran, the other a Ko-Matoran. They went to Ga-Koro and rented a boat from the locals, being overcharged in the process. They also rented fishing poles, lures, and life jackets, once again overpriced. Okoth made a small fortune that day.
     
    Of course, such an event begs the question: What in the name of Karzahni are a Ta-Matoran and a Ko-Matoran doing fishing!?
     
    But that’s not really important, so we’ll let you figure that out for yourself.
     
    But if it really does start to bother you, then perhaps I’ll let you PM me non-stop begging for an answer. And then, finally, if I’m nice, I’ll tell you… to get lost
    and probably put an ignore flag on you.
     
    But that’s all hypothetical, because chances are you don’t really care, and are waiting to hear what happens next (if that).
     
    On with the adventure!
     
    The two Matoran row their boat out to the middle of Lake Naho and cast their lines. Don’t ask me how they know how to A. row a boat; or B. fish in the first place.
     
    I just work here.
     
    It’s not fun.
     
    Time passes, and the two Matoran grow bored. The Ko-Matoran strikes up a conversation.
     
    “…”
     
    It doesn’t help that I named him Kopeke. So, let’s use our creative license and rename him Pakastaa.
     
    He was born during a sneeze, poor guy.
     
    “So, how about that Kohlii match last night?”
     
    The as of yet unnamed Ta-Matoran, who was staring intently into the waters, mumbled a curse and turned to his comrade.
     
    “We should have won. You cheated.”
     
    The Ko-Matoran laughed an icy laugh. If you are smart you caught the pun. Of course, if you are VERY smart you realized that the second sentence in this paragraph is ALSO a pun, because it says “caught” and this whole story is about “catching” fish.
     
    Which is why you’re here- I hope.
     
    Why are you here, anyway? There are much better stories around. Makuta Island, by GaliGee for example. Time Disruption by xccj. Ah well, your loss.
     
    “What do you mean, we cheated? You guys just suck without Takua and Jaller.”
     
    “Hey, hey. Kapura and I can be pretty good when we want to.”
     
    “Which is when, never? HA! The great ‘Tiribomba and Kapura,’ the Kohlii team that doubles as a comedy act!”
     
    Tiribomba? Sounds like a good name for our second hero.
     
    Also born during a sneeze. Same parents?
     
    The Tiribomba rose to his feet. The boat rocked. “Those are fighting words if I’ve ever heard them!”
     
    Pakastaa stood as well, the boat rocking even more. “You couldn’t fight my grandmother- and she’s dead!”
     
    Ow, that one must have HURT.
     
    “You asked for it!”
     
    Tiribomba dove at Pakastaa. Pakastaa was knocked backwards, stumbled, tripped over his fishing pole, fell into the waters of Lake Naho, drowned, and was promptly eaten by a passing Razor Whale.
     
    Tiribomba fell to his knees, head in hands. He had just killed the only person who had the map back to shore and who knew how to row the boat.
     
    Oh dear, I’ve just killed off one of our main characters.
     
    I’ve created several plot holes, which you caught if you were really reading.
     
    1. If Pakastaa didn’t know how to swim, what was he doing fishing?
     
    2. If he didn’t swim, how did he know how to row the boat?
     
    3. If you’re a geek like me and you looked up “Razor Whale” on BS01, you realized that
    they are peaceful creatures. Why did it eat Pakastaa?
     
    4. They are also endangered and not seen around Mata Nui. Where did it come from?
     
    My answers?
     
    I DON’T CARE HAHAHAHAHAHA!
     
    And you probably don’t either.
     
    Now is probably a good time for one of those triple asterisk things I use to denote scene change, while I figure out how to end this.
     

    *** 
    One year later.
     
    Tiribomba the elder reclined in his old boat, certain his days were drawing to an end. He reflected on his life, and realized that though it had been short, it had been full: The last year in a boat in the middle of nowhere eating fish and drinking seawater.
     
    Sounds good to me!
     
    As his boat began to crumble, he decided to relax and let whatever would happen, happen.
     
    The ground… or rather the ocean… began to shake.
     
    He looked around him. A Makuta trick?
     
    No- for he realized that as somehow he began to rise into the air, Mata Nui was taking him up into his presence.
     
    Then Tiribomba realized his boat was now resting on a big tall robot that had just risen from the sea.
     
    Then he realized the boat was falling.
     
    He fell several thousand feet, plunged into the water, drowned, and was eaten by a passing Razor Whale.
     
    Oh dear, more plot holes. I’m sorry, ladies and gentlemen, or whatever may be reading this, I just can’t do it. I’m going to have to use a cheap cop out to get out of this.
     
    <<
     
    >>
     

     
    Oh by the way GUESS WHAT THIS IS MY 666th ENTRY
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