For the first time in my entire life. I just experience being bullied on the internet.
Now as a brief background, I was never public schooled, but Home schooled. Yes, I was that kid. But life would have it that I was able to make really good friends that I still, to this day, have a close relationship that I share stories and personal stuff with (guys and girls also!). I've never experienced an abusive family, or an abusive relative, or extended relative. Up until tonight I've never been legitimately persecuted by another human being.
Sure, I've had my fair share of hard to work with Bosses. I've been around unpleasant people. I've been around those people that make you wanna pull your hair out. But none of which have done such an act as these fools did on DotA.
I'm not a gamer. Though, I was when I was a kid at 13. But that was when I had free time. However, my parents were wise enough to know that the open dialogue over the internet can be dangerous for kids. So I've always been secure that I'll avoid conflict and harassment through chats/voice overs in games. As I got older I tried out a game called blockland, and there were a fair share of some rude "children" on there. But again, never had them directly abuse me. I've seen and heard videos on Youtube, and know crazy stories of The Bullies. I mean, common, who hasn't seen a movie with a school genre where there's that one mean boy/girl?
I'm literally shaken as I write this. My fingers are frittering a little from...this...I guess. It's very similar to that feeling you get when you know you shouldn't be talking to your crush. It's like I'm afraid that those people will find me again while I sleep...I don't know why.
I mean, I'll definitely be fine in the morning. But what's struck me is that...Oh my gosh! There are kids out there that have EXPERIENCED this for the majority of their lives?! The constant living in fear?! This is TERRIBLE! I feel so un-righteously angry at these individuals that treat other people like their crud.
These "children" that were on this server with me, basically decided to treat me the same way.
I was Tumbersaw, level 13, trying to get that item that gives a lot of mana or something, and the team I guess wanted to push Mid or something. Anyway, I always talk like I'm having a good time while I'm losing(which we kind of were). I keep things positive in the game while I play. EVEN when there's that cuss bomb that's shooting his mouth off in into his mouth piece. This guy was taking his time to press a key to let me know that I'm dirt. (in comparison, dirt is not even close to what I was called). So I'm like, "This isn't new. This guy's probably tired and frustrated and needs someone to take it out on. No biggy."
Twas a biggy.
The next thing I know, I died, right when that tower was gonna explode, I was gonna pull a final smash on it right before I died. But I was just a few seconds off. For me, I don’t care, it’s just a game. However, this dude, and the rest of his “buddies” took this as my pinnacle of stupidity. The next thing I know, I’m hearing this guy talking some real smack about me. I simply reply in chat, not voice, that I agreed that I was being retarded and then left my L O L in there. But then the rest joined in. Then that wound just kept getting longer and deeper. The rest of the game was unpleasant. But I didn’t care. I couldn’t, and I shouldn’t. If I’m an adult I need to know who I am. I know myself too well that I’m not what these guys are saying. And most of what they were blabbering about in chat, besides my legitimately poor playing skills, were lies. Filthy lies. I hurt bad from this guys.
But all this to say:
When you have a person that’s just trying to play the game for passing-time’s sake, don’t take it upon yourself to let him know how stupid he is. Don’t do it so seriously that you ruin someone’s self-esteem. You don’t even know that person, and they you. So why bother? It’s childish, immature, highly disrespectful, and this is not my own opinion. I’m sure these people were willing to take a bullet for you.
There are kids out there that need someone to look up to. Not circles of adult-children choosing to use them as their “play”. And I only refer these bullies out there as adult-children. Not gamers.
Treat others like you would be treated. And trust me, none of us would want to be treated like crud. I can guarantee it.
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