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Brickeens

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Blog Entries posted by Brickeens

  1. Brickeens

    Day 3

    By Brickeens,

    Well, halfway through the third day and... Still no sign of withdrawal symptoms? My head is still fuzzy, and I feel tired, but I felt like that before I started the diet. I'm slightly underwhelmed really, because so far nothing's changing. I don't feel any better or worse.
     
    I suppose it's still early yet though.
  3. Brickeens

    Sherlock

    By Brickeens,

    I'm late to the party as usual, but I've started watching Sherlock. I saw "A Study in Pink" last night and I really liked it. Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are brilliant, and I was really happy to see that John's character was actually given justice. I guess I'll be watching the next episode tonight.
  4. Brickeens
    So I had blood taken last week to test my creatine kinase levels, which are muscle enzymes or something. Wikipedia will explain better than I can. The results came back, and my levels aren't normal at all. My doctors don't know what this means, so I'm being referred to a specialist who will hopefully be able to figure things out from there.
     
    I guess this would be bad news to most, but frankly, I'm really glad they've found something wrong, because this might offer some explanation as to why I've been unwell for the last three and a half years straight. I don't want to get my hopes up too much, but maybe, just maybe I'll have answers at long last?
     
    Here's to this not being a dead end.
  7. Brickeens

    Catwatch

    By Brickeens,

    it's a dangerous business
     

     
    we're watching the suspect from cover inside the house, he seems to be waiting for a contact of some sorts
     

     
    wait, what's this
     

     
    he's crouching down, what could this mean
     

     
    wait, wait, he seems to be getting up again
     

     
    he's definitely doing something, keep the camera focused
     

     
    HE'S ON FOOT, HE'S MOVING, DON'T LOSE HIM
     

     
    he seems to be stopping again, this could be a trick to throw us off
     

     
    uh
     

     
    I KNEW IT, KEEP AFTER HIM
     

     
    HE'S GOING FOR COVER
     

     
    HE'S MADE IT, REPOSITION, REPOSITON
     

     
    GO GO GO GO
     

     
    WE HAVE THE SUSPECTS FACE, HE'S ATTEMPTING TO HIDE UNDERNEATH A BRUSH
     

     
    HE'S MOVED AGAIN, CHANGE ROOM, CHANGE ROOM,
     

     
    WE HAVE HIM
     

     
    HE'S MOVING UP
     

     
    WHERE'S HE GOING
     

     
    HE'S TAKEN COVER IN THE GRASS, AFTER HIM
     

     
    WE'RE GOING IN
    I MEAN OUT
     
    GOGOGOGO
     

     
    WE'RE IN THE GRASS, WE'VE GOT A GOOD ZOOM ON HIM FROM HERE
     

     
    WE'RE EDGING CLOSER
     

     
    HE'S SPOTTED US, HE'S MOVING, AFTER HIM AFTER HIM
     

     
    ALL AGENTS HAVE SHOOT ON SIGHT AUTHORIZATION
     
     
     
     
     
    curses
     
    he's escaped
     
    we'll get him next time
  10. Brickeens

    Hospital Results

    By Brickeens,

    So, long story short, they still don't know what in the blazes is wrong with me. The less negative news is that they're not giving up here. They took more blood on Monday, and while I don't really understand what's going on they're doing DNA tests and looking for more metabolic problems that could be causing all the headaches, fatigue, nausea, and occasional muscular problems I have.
     
    What is there even left to say at this stage?
  11. Brickeens
    I've been doing so much character-orientated work recently I thought it was time I drew some environments. I don't know why I decided drawing a cliff would be a good idea, but hey, I did. The inking took about three hours.
  16. Brickeens
    All I really want to do here is describe some environments and atmospheres that I really like and that really give me feelings. (I can't be the only one.) Get away while you still can.
     
    I'll start with fog. When I see fog... I just want to go off and get lost in it, hide in it, run in it, explore in it. It can bring mystery and beauty anywhere. An ideal fog situation for me would be in a large, grassy, slightly wooded, cold, rocky area at dusk. Exploring that with friends would make me so happy.
    An alternate ideal foggy environment would be an urban one in the middle of the night lit by streetlamps in freezing temperatures. That would be great too.
     
    Next up is autumn environments. I love it when there are dry leaves on the ground because they look so pretty in their red and yellow and brown colors. An ideal autumn environment for me would be one with a really heavy amount of leaves on the ground, so you could sort of wade through them and roll around in them and throw them around the place and what have you. It would be even better with a lot of wind, because leaves flying all over the place would be beautiful and would also make me happy.
     
    Related to the above, I also really like wind, because I think it feels nice and it makes a soothing noise rustling grass and leaves and trees. I don't think I can say much more there than that I particularly like a good cold wind because it's refreshing and it means I can wear a nice warm coat. But I won't get started on coats. (Or gloves or scarves.)
     
    The next thing is grass. Dry, long grass. Particularly brown grass. The best sort is the sort that is a really light tan, so light that it's ghostly. I would run around in grass like that and then just lie in it and look at the sky and I don't even know...
     
    Snowy and icy environments go without saying. Ireland rarely gets snow, and when does it doesn't get much, but in the few times in my life that it has come, it has been amazing. Everything has quite a beauty when transformed by the cold. It's wonderful, and I think I love just about any snowy/icy environment.
     
    Going on from cold, I also like fires. Especially bonfires after midnight. They make a lovely sound and the great heat is very pleasant, as is the orange glow. I love the crackling of twigs and sparks flying up out of sight. Also, marshmallows. (I think I'm straying from environments here.)
     
    And I think I'll stop now. I'm pretty sure I could add to this list for a long time - I feel I'm only getting started, but it's nearly 3AM. This is probably all very silly, but this is who I am and what I like, and I feel like sharing it. <3
     
    There is one more important thing I need to add - none of these environments or scenarios would be complete without one or two good bros to explore with.
     
    And what I really want to know is, how many of you know how I feel here?
  17. Brickeens
    Quick recap, six months ago I got pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me, which was a sort-of diagnosis from the metabolic unit in Dublin. What they found is that I have SOME FORM of fatty-acid metabolism disorder, which is good, but it's not really a diagnosis in itself, because there's a big range of the disorders and I could have any one of them. Because of that, treatment so far has been extremely limited.
     
    In a nutshell though, the problem is this: I can't metabolise fat properly, which causes a couple of problems: Firstly, I'm only getting a fraction of the energy I should be (explains the fatigue problems I've had since childhood), so feeling exhausted all the time is a given. Secondly, all the fat I can't metabolise properly builds up in my organs, and also leaves a load of toxins in the blood (explains why I experienced so much nausea on a daily basis and also why my concentration deteriorated in recent years) so the two explain basically every problem I've ever had.
     
    Treatment so far has consisted of taking carnitine, which helps take some of the toxic stuff out of my system, and eating a very low-fat diet to keep further damage to a minimum. The good part is, I no longer experience nausea on a daily basis and my concentration and general ability to think have picked up a bit (still a long way from normal but it's better than nothing). The bad part is, even though it's helped my head, the diet has had a really, really bad impact on my strength and energy, which were already bad to begin with. I'm really weak, I'm tireder than I was before, and I can barely get out of house most of the time. Exercise has been pretty difficult the last few years but I always forced myself to do it, but now it's nearly out of the question. If I walk anything more than a short distance I feel like I'm going to collapse, and I feel awful afterwards.
     
    I'm really glad my head has improved a bit, but I'm so exhausted and physically even more incapable than I was before, and it's getting really hard to keep myself interested in doing anything. I'm either physically unable to do things I want to do, or just so tired I don't enjoy what little I can do.
     
    (That was a really long quick recap sorry)
     
    Here's the not so great news: I saw the head doctor of the metabolic unit yesterday, and they're at a dead end with my case. Whatever I have, it doesn't meet the criteria for any of the disorders they're familiar with, and they're much more confused now than they were six months ago. Not only that, they've run out of tests to do, and all they're doing now is re-running my blood and DNA tests in the hopes they'll show up something they didn't find last time. In other words, if they can't find something else, this is as good as it gets for me. I stay on my current treatment for the rest of my life so I don't get worse, but I don't get better either.
     
    It's not a definite no, it's not really a definite anything, but it's not good and I don't know what do do with myself. I've got another long wait ahead, and it's agony not knowing whether I'm ever going to get better or whether I'm just hanging onto false hopes. I'm sorry I've been short with people recently, I'm sorry I'm grumpy and I don't respond to messages and do things I mean to do a lot of the time, but I'm at my wit's end and I don't know what to do. All that's kept me going the last few years is the hope that maybe someday I won't have to live like this, and now I'm back to being stuck in limbo with no guarantee of improvement.
  20. Brickeens
    You've probably seen it already because it's Sumiki's avatar. I kind of like it, but it seems that when I colored it, the scanner brought out the texture of the paper which made it seem very grainy. It looks much better in person.
  23. Brickeens

    Nature Break

    By Brickeens,

    Well, things have been getting a bit heated recently, so I feel like the best thing we can all do is take a minute of our day to pause and learn something fun and new about the natural world.
     

  25. Brickeens

    Brickfair

    By Brickeens,

    Because Zatth and Sumiki are the sweetest people ever, I may be getting a video tour of Brickfair at some point the next few days. So if you see someone being ferried around on an iPad, that's probably me and you should say hello. I wonder if I should be writing out some messages on pieces of paper or something.
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