X-Ray

Thank you for the reply, fishers64. I treasure every one of them. And now, it's time for the final chapter of this comedy!

Chapter Eight: Immigration to the End

Kyry massaged his temples, and said to the blue being before him, "Name?"

The blue armored being said, "Thomob, acting-director of the Order of Mata Nui."

"Uh huh," said Kyry. He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Do you have an appointment?" he said.

"I'm the acting-director of the Order of Mata Nui, and I need an appointment?!" said Thomob thunderously. "I tell you, the impudence of you Agori-"

"Do you or do you not have an appointment?" Kyry asked. His job as Raanu's secretary wasn't usually this grueling, but the pay was barely good enough for him to have to put up with this kind of treatment.

"Tahu Nuva sent me," said Thomob. "I was under the impression that something like that did not require an appointment."

Kyry stared at Thomob for a moment, and then said, "Hold on a second." He picked up the phone on his desk, and said, "Mr. Raanu?"

"Raanu speaking," said Raanu on the other end of the line. Raanu was sitting in his office on the other side of the wall, while Kyry sat in his half-cubicle, screening visitors.

"There's a Mr. ...Thomob? ...Here to see you, sir," said Kyry. "He says that Tahu Nuva sent him."

"Send him in," said Raanu.

Kyry hung up his phone, and said to Thomob, "Mr. Raanu will see you now."

"Thank you," said Thomob, getting up out of his chair and entering through the wooden door to Raanu's office. He sat in one of the two chairs before Raanu's desk, behind which the red armored being sat.

"A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Thomob," said Raanu. "What does Tahu Nuva wish to tell me?"

"Well, Mr. Raanu," said Thomob, "we seem to be having difficulties in transporting the inhabitants of the Mata Nui robot to Spherus Magna. The office responsible for issuing green cards is no longer active, and what's left of my organization has had to pick up the slack. As it is, we are unable to provide enough green cards to the emigrants who are arriving on Spherus Magna. The lack of green cards has led to multiple incidents with your people."

"...I see," said Raanu. "In view of this situation, I will speak to the council about temporarily suspending the need for green cards. Until then, however, you will just have to accept the situation."

After a moment, Thomob said, "I understand. Thank you for seeing me. I'll be going now." Thomob got up and left the office, thinking to himself, Great. At this rate, we're never going to be able to get everyone through. If only Helryx were here, she'd know what to do.

* * *

"Name?" said the customs agent sitting in the wooden booth.

"Um, Katax, sir," said Katax, adjusting his mask.

"Do you have a green card?" said the customs agent, an ice Agori.

"No, sir," said Katax. "My local immigrations office was crushed by a gigantic slab of metal."

"Well, that's just too bad," said the ice Agori. He said to the Glatorian standing next to him, "Bring him to the holding area. Next!"

Katax trotted along as he was herded by the Glatorian to the fenced off area where all of the immigrants without a green card were being kept. He didn't know what else they could do to them, as deportation was out of the question. In the six months since the battle of Nynrah, the Onu-Matoran had been kept in an Order of Mata Nui holding cell, set free in the chaos resulting in Makuta's takeover of the universe. Since then, he had wandered from place to place, going from Nynrah to the Southern Continent, to the Northern Continent, to Metru Nui. There, he had gotten a job as an accountant at the Coliseum, using his Brotherhood of Makuta credentials to survive. He hated himself for it, but he knew that he had to do something to win his bread.

And now, here he was, sitting in the holding area of a whole new world, awaiting his fate. He looked around at the assortment of Matoran Universe inhabitants who sat with him. There were Matoran, Toa, and a dozen other species he had never seen before. Among them was a being who looked like a Toa, but who wore a grey cloak. He had white and silver armor, and wore a black Kanohi Suletu. The being was standing next to Katax. Noticing that the Matoran was staring at him, the being offered his hand and said, "Hello there, Matoran."

"Hello," said Katax, warily shaking the stranger's hand. "I'm Katax. Who are you?"

"Oh, Nobody," said the stranger. "That is, my name is Nobody."

"Nobody, huh?" said Katax. "What kind of name is that?"

"I didn't ask for it, if that's what you mean," said Nobody.

"So, you didn't have a green card either?" said Katax.

"No, I didn't," said the friendly wraith. "But I happen to know that the green card thing soon will no longer be a problem."

"What do you mean-" said Katax, when suddenly, an announcement came on over the building's intercom system.

"Attention, immigrants," said the voice from the intercom system. "An immigration office has just opened next to the customs booth. Please go there to collect your green cards."

Katax's jaw dropped. He then turned to Nobody and said, "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" said Nobody. "I just made an educated guess at what the author would do."

"Author?" said Katax incredulously. "What on Spherus Magna are you talking about?"

"Never mind," said Nobody as the occupants of the room streamed out of the holding area. "Run along and get your green card, and stay out of trouble."

"Yes sir," said Katax, following the crowd down the hall. He wanted nothing more than to collect his green card and settle in a quiet village somewhere and set up his own accounting office. Once he got his green card, he stood in line for the customs booth.

"Name?" said the customs officer.

"Katax," said Katax.

"Do you have your green card?" the ice Agori said.

"Yes, sir," said Katax, handing his card to the ice Agori.

The ice Agori examined the card, stamped it, and then handed it back to Katax. "You're clear," he said. "Welcome to Spherus Magna."

Katax went out of the door onto the open country of Iconox. A small village had sprung up around the head of the Mata Nui robot, from where he could go as he pleased. He thought he would take the bus to Tesara. A jungle village... that sounded like a good place to him.

Meanwhile, Nobody got his green card, went through customs, and entered the village. He went to the bus station, and sat down on the bench. A few minutes later, a youth in a white dress shirt, a blue vest, a silver tie, dark blue slacks and a pair of black loafers, with a Kanohi Akaku Nuva eyepiece built into the left side of his head, sat down next to him.

"Is that who I think it is?" said Nobody, punching the youth in the arm.

"Nobody, old friend old buddy old pal," said the youth. "Did you get through customs well?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Nobody. "I had to wait for four hours while I waited for the immigration office to open up. You sure took your time."

"Hey, I can't control everything that goes on in this world," said the youth.

"But X-Ray, you're the author!" said Nobody. "You can use your author powers to do anything!"

"There are limits to my abilities," said X-Ray, for this youth was, in fact, myself. "But you're here now. Now then, is there anything you would like to say to me?"

"Yes," said Nobody, take out some gum and popping it into his mouth. "What do we do now?"

The End

What to do now indeed? Follow the exploits of Nobody and X-Ray in my upcoming comedy, The Misadventures of Nobody (and X-Ray). Of course, I intend to write a short story and finish my epic before I start work on that, but that won't prevent me from continuing to create! See you all later!

X-Ray

This is an impressive collection you have assembled, dear sir. It seems to be a group of Bionicle fish and some more orthodox humanoid creations. Of the fish, I particularly like the yellow one, which is simple yet elegant. Of the humanoid creations, I am partial to the one with the Nuparu Mahri mask of stealth. The only drawback to these pictures was that I had to look sideways to get a good look at them. Still, these are some good MoC's.

Sincerely, X-Ray

My very first set was Onua Nuva, 2003. Back then, I just loved the chain sa- eh, quake breakers. I'd pretend like he was going over a lawn, and I'd say, "I'm mowing the lawn, I'm mowing the lawn!" I had a lot of fun with that set.

X-Ray

And now, without further ado...

Chapter Seven: Intersection

Katax adjusted his position in his folding chair as he sat in the bright sunlight of the day. His chair was located along with several others on the front lawns of the Letty Gord Center for Toa. Beside him sat Praket, who was eagerly waiting for the press conference to begin. In front of the seated crowd was a podium emblazoned with the symbol of the LGCT.

At last, thought Katax, all of our hard work is about to be fulfilled. Perhaps my getting a job with the Brotherhood wasn't such a bad thing after all, if I was able to promote peace.

Finally, a Toa of ice went up to the podium and spoke into the microphone, saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I please have your attention?" The noise of the crowd died down. The Toa of ice then said, "It is my privilege to present the CEO and founder of the Letty Gord Center for Toa, Turaga Letty!"

There was much applause as a Turaga of water slowly made her way to the podium. Very... slowly...

Katax looked at his watch, and thought, 12:30. At this rate, the conference won't start for another ten hours.

Fortunately, it didn't take nearly this long for Turaga Letty to reach the podium. It only took about five minutes. When she had finally reached the podium, and ascended the step-stool in front of it, she said, "Matoran, Toa, and other beings, I welcome you to this press conference. Here, I would like to make an announcement concerning a new source of funding that we now have. We have been blessed to have a new benefactor over the last few weeks. Ladies and gentlemen, we are now receiving funding from the Brotherhood of Makuta!"

This revelation was met with a chorus of objections and shouts, as everyone in the crowd seemed to be talking over one another at once. "Why is the BM funding an organization for Toa?" said one Matoran journalist.

"Who arranged this unholy alliance?" said another Matoran.

A third then said, "Do you want fries with that?"

Turaga Letty raised a hand and said, "Peace, peace." The cacophony of the crowd eventually died down. "I know that this announcement raises many questions, but I would like to introduce another guest to answer your questions. May I present Praket, Deputy Under-secretary of Public Relations for the Brotherhood of Makuta's Nynrah faction."

There was a mass of boo's and clapping, depending on what the individual audience members thought of the announcement. Praket went up to the stage, and shook Turaga Letty's hand, before going up to the podium. "Friends, Matoran, countrymen," he said magnanimously. "Allow me to address you concerning Turaga Letty's announcement. Firstly, I would like to thank the Letty Gord Center for Toa for approaching us for funding. Secondly, I would like to thank Makuta Tridax for authorizing this new partnership. If it weren't for him, the Letty Gord Center for Toa's funding request wouldn't have gotten past the Head of PR's desk."

As Praket continued on with his speech, a sinister being in a hoodie and jeans lurked at the back of the crowd. He carried a carton of eggs in his backpack, and surreptitiously made his way to the front of the crowd. He took the eggs out of his back pack, and took aim at Praket.

"Thusly," said Praket, "we hope that this new partnership with the Letty Gord Center for Toa will prove fruitful and remunerative for both parties. I shall now sign the tablets guaranteeing our mutual cooperation." Praket went over to a table where the contract lay, waiting to be signed, when he was plastered right in the mask with an egg.

"You suck, Brotherhood goat-dog!" said Lurker, who was the sinister figure in a hoodie and jeans. He hurled another egg, missing Praket as the Ta-Matoran tried to dodge the eggs.

Meanwhile, in the shadows of a parking garage across the street, nobody was there to observe the farce playing out on the front lawns of the LGCT. "Well, what do we have here?" said Nobody, putting away his binoculars. He pulled out an encrypted cellphone, and waited for it to connect.

"Hello?" said the voice of Helryx.

"Helryx?" said Nobody. "This is Agent Nobody. I was about to detonate that stink bomb that Agents Trinuma and Joe planted, but somebody just showed up and started throwing eggs at the BM representative. And get this; I think that the egg thrower is the Dark Hunter known as Lurker."

Nobody heard a burst static, which he assumed was Helryx breathing into the phone. "Very well," she said. "Let us allow the Dark Hunters to ruin the press conference. If our egg thrower get's chased off, however, then you must detonate the stink bomb. You must by no means allow them to sign that contract!"

"Got it, boss," said Nobody, before hanging up his phone. He put his binoculars up to his eyes again, and saw Lurker fighting a handful of Rahkshi, who had been brought along by the Brotherhood of Makuta group as security. Hmmm... thought Nobody as he observed the chaotic scene. Looks like I'll have to detonate that stink bomb after all, and go grab the contract and crush it to bits in the confusion. Yes, I suppose that's what I'll have to do.

Lurker beat away at the three Rahkshi, wishing for a moment that he had a mask of speed. Just then, a huge green explosion detonated from somewhere in the crowd, sending a green cloud rippling through the press conference area. Everyone coughed and hacked, wheezing through the noxious gas. Katax stood up and put his handkerchief over his mask. He blindly stumbled through the crowd, bumping into not a few people. He made his way out to the edge of the explosion zone, rubbing his eyes.

Nobody had put on a gas mask and rushed to the table that was next to the podium. He located the contract, and pounded it with all his might. He then activated his intangibility mode, phasing through the crowd as he made his escape.

About half an hour later, after the fire department had decontaminated the area, Praket and Katax met with Turaga Letty, who was sitting next to an ambulance with a stress blanket over her shoulders. "How are you holding up, Turaga?" Katax said to Letty.

"Oh, just fine, young man," said Letty. "But I'm afraid that I've got some bad news."

"What would that be?" said Katax.

"Well, the board just had an emergency meeting," said Letty, "and they've decided to decline the Brotherhood's support in light of this new show of aggression. We never thought it would be a such a source of contention."

"But, you can't just back out!" said Praket, stammering. "After all of our hard work, something has to have come of it!"

Suddenly, another Brotherhood of Makuta Matoran ran up to Praket and said, "Sir! Sir! Mr. Praket, sir!"

"What is it?" said Praket. "Can't you see I'm talking?"

"It's urgent, sir!" said the Matoran. "The forces of a the Order of Mata Nui have arrived on the shores of Nynrah and are battling our forces!"

Praket cursed to himself and said, "Well, you know what must be done. Follow protocol. Start evacuating all Brotherhood personnel. Destroy all of our documents. Feed my cat."

The Matoran nodded, and then ran off to do Praket's bidding.

"Well, Katax," said Praket as the two walked away. "I believe that you'll be finding the next several hours to be highly educational. What with this new development, your job just got much more important."

Katax nodded, and followed Praket to their company car. He hoped that what he was needed to do did not entail anything particularly dangerous. He also hoped that he would have time to cash his latest paycheck.

NEXT: The final chapter of Bionicles at Work, as the Order of Mata Nui handles immigration issues following the evacuation of the Mata Nui Robot! Yeah, I know this would involve a big time skip, but hey, deal with it.

X-Ray

The Ballad of Master Chief

Gather 'round ye folks, and listen well,

I've a tale of a hero that I'd like to tell.

He finished the fight and remembered Reach;

This is the ballad of Master Chief.

Well way back when during the great war

When the Covenant near blew up the corps

There was a man, a great hero

Though where he came from, I don't know.

He had some armor, a nice shade of green

His AI Cortana, and an M-Ninety.

He sent a lot of Covenant six feet beneath

He's the Spartan that folks call Master Chief.

This is the tale of a soldier brave

Who for humanity he fought to save.

He finished the fight and remembered Reach;

This is the ballad of Master Chief.

With Cortana, Sergeant Johnson, and the Captain, Keyes,

Chief managed to survive the fall of Reach.

They fled on over to this funny lookin' ring,

Little did they know that it was an important thing.

After a rude awakening, and a bumpy ride,

Chief saved some folks who would have died.

But someone messed up and released the Flood (that's bad)

And they got the Captain and did him in- Now that's just sad.

Come a swirl of explosions and bloody fights,

Master Chief had the Covenant in his sights.

He blew the Pillar of Autumn to bits of scrap,

And Halo came down, just like that.

This is the tale of a soldier brave

Who for humanity he fought to save.

He finished the fight and remembered Reach;

This is the ballad of Master Chief.

Well the Covenant were might ticked at this;

That the Master Chief had owned them like they were his.

Then the fight came down to Earth from there

And through it all Chief's armor didn't scratch or tear.

With Cortana in his head, and Johnson at his side

And Commander Miranda Keyes in a ship in the sky,

Chief shot all of the Covenant dead and done

But found that of the Halos, there were another half-dozen of them.

Chief saw the Covenan'ts flying city had gone down the drain,

From everywhere everyone was going Flood-insane.

Master Chief had to leave Cortana behind to sit

But he said he's be back- And he promised it.

This is the tale of a soldier brave

Who for humanity he fought to save.

He finished the fight and remembered Reach;

This is the Ballad of Master Chief.

Chief caught a ride on this giant Covenant ship thing

Which took both the Chief and his greatest enemies

Back to Earth where the corps still fought the fight

But where Arbiter and the Elites had joined our side.

Master Chief, Arby, Johnson, and Keyes too

Went with their forces to spill the Covenant's goo

They arrived where the Covenant had sat when they came

And Lord Hood said, "One final effort is all that remains!"

Now the Prophet of Truth had a similar plan

To activate the Halos and get a heck of a tan

He found what he was looking for right on the mark

A portal through which they could go to a place called the Ark.

This is the tale of a soldier brave

Who for humanity he fought to save.

He finished the fight and remembered Reach;

This is the end of the ballad of Master Chief.

But Cortana had a plan to fix everything good,

To get rid of the Flood, just like they should.

So Chief and the team went through the portal

To a place never seen by any non-Forerunner mortal.

The Ark, so they called it, was real big

With lots of things to fight and an even bigger battle to win.

Well not everybody knows just what happened then

But most people will tell you this nine times out of ten:

Chief saved Cortana, and Johnson & Keyes got slain

Though Master Chief and the Arbiter avenged then both that same day.

They had to save the day by blowing the Ark sky-high

And though Arby made it back, he's not sure if Chief lived or died.

This is the tale of a soldier brave

Who for humanity he fought to save.

He finished the fight and remembered Reach;

This is the end of the ballad of Master Chief.

Back on Earth, the war with the Covenant was over and done

The Covenant was broken and the Flood weren't seen by anyone.

Nowadays humans and Elites both live in peace,

But they'll tell you it was all because of the Master Chief.

This is the tale of a soldier brave

Who for humanity he fought to save.

He finished the fight and remembered Reach;

This is the end of the ballad of Master Chief.

---

I wrote this song in my spare time. It goes somewhat to the tune of the Ballad of Serenity, if that is of any help. I wrote is from the perspective of a marine who survived the war and wrote a song. Possibly Chips Dubbo.

X-Ray

It is truly refreshing to hear from the esteemed GregF. My only pity is that this information could not be expressed in the conventional mannner, via story. However, I am content to receive these tidbits. Specifically, I am exhilarated to discover that

X-Ray

In The Final Battle, Makuta Mutran is on the verge of figuring it out how to control the storm going on in the heart of Karda Nui. He is vaporized just before he announces his discovery. I now believe that I have found it.

Could Mutran simply have invoked his Makuta power over weather control to control the storm? Is this, in you, the reader's opinion, plausible?

X-Ray

because of luck.

Wasn't luck -- it was Mata Nui being smarter than him and maneuvering it that way.

 

 

Anyways, I think he means, which would be the worst death to experience?

 

Anything long and torturous. Which probably includes a lot of deaths where you wake up on the Red Star. And I wouldn't want to be Tren Krom at his end.

 

If you mean least believable or well-handled or whatever in the story, Botar's does kind of stand out, although it's not like we ever really knew him well or anyone else did in the story.

I agree with boneseiii, Botar's death was poorly executed, little more than a throwaway line meant to bring a cheap element of gravity (no pun intended) to the Federation of Fear serial. As if Carapar's death wasn't odious enough.

X-Ray

BIONICLE Chronicles wouldn't really fit in that case. I like the names as they are anyway. If you disregard the fact that almost the entirety of the Adventures are flashbacks, the Legends actually show more of the past:

 

1. All of Legacy of Evil.

 

2. The introduction of Inferno.

 

3. The introduction to Downfall.

 

4. Half of Swamp of Secrets.

 

If we look at the Adventures as taking place "now," we really learn more about what happened before (such as the creation of the Ignika, the history of the Piraka, the League of Six Kingdoms, the origin of the Toa Mata, etc.) while the Adventures don't explain much of Metru Nui's prehistory. Ironically, due to the inclusion of the Toa-Dark Hunter War in Legacy of Evil, we actually learn more about Metru Nui's history in the Legends than we do in the Adventures.

That's a fair point, sir, but those titles you listed are only a small fractions of the series of adventures that were details in Legends. I do not have any real problem with the names as they are, but I still feel that the names would be more indicative of their series' content if they were swapped.

X-Ray

Truly, this is a work of genius. Though I have never listened to "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen, I must confess that I this is one of the best (albeit also one of the few) Bionicle song-fics I've ever read. I do, however, confess to desiring a more fleshed out depiction of the last few years of the Bionicle saga. Also, I'm not sure I entirely understand your explanation of how you procured this. Did you get it from somewhere else, or cobble it together yourself?

All told, this is an excellent song, and I think I'll go listen to the original song to get a feel for the tune.

X-Ray

This MOC is a marvelous piece of work. I note how the build is reminiscent of Sentrakh, in that the head seems to extend from the torso. I also find the head to be very good, as it no doubt is one of the more complex pieces of the build. Which part of this MOC do you supposed was the most difficult to assemble? I also like the assemblage of the staff and tail, especially how you used such and unorthodox method of building the latter. I like the Metru feet on the staff.

X-Ray

While I believe the title proclaims all that is needed to understand the purpose of this topic, I feel the need to elaborate. Specifically, I am questioning what Bionicle character you, denizens of BZPower, are most like in terms of personality. It can be one singular character or multiple characters.

For me, the answer to that question is Whenua. I am a lover of history, and too believe that understanding the past is the key to operating in the present. And while there is no sure way to predict the future, the past can help in doing that. I also have shades of Kopaka, in that I have a dry wit, and a sardonic sense of humor. I went through a phase where I was a little like Lewa, being a joker and a rascal. I still maintain my sense as a jester, though in a more reserved manner.

So, do tell me your thoughts on this matter.

X-Ray

And now, after a thunderous silence, I once again set finger to keyboard to write comedic prose...

Chapter Six: Mission to Nynrah

Lurker sat in his seat uncomfortably. He was coming to the end of a long bus ride, having gotten off a boat on the east coast of Nynrah, traveling as inconspicuously as possible to a village near the island's center. Bedecked in hoodie and jeans, his tail was awkwardly stored in he bag of stuff he lugged around with him.

Next to him sat a pretty Ga-Matoran with a Noble Miru. She was studying a travel manual, obviously a tourist. She put down her reading material, and said to Lurker, "So, why did you come to Nynrah?"

Lurker desperately tried to remember the cover story that had been assigned to him by some guy sitting behind a desk back on Odina. "I'm, uh, traveling... to, attend my uncle's funeral. Yeah, that's right."

"Your uncle died?" the Ga-Matoran said, a look of compassion coming into her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Mr....

"Uh, Smith. Jim Lawrence Smith... the Fourth," said Lurker, extending his clawed hand. The Ga-Matoran gingerly shook the talon.

"I'm Ellen," the Ga-Matoran said. "I'm on vacation."

"I see," said Lurker. Mata Nui, he thought, I hate making small talk. I can't wait to finish my mission and leave this dump. The higher ups get to fly around in their fancy airships, while I get to go around on a bus.

"Kent Station!" said the bus driver, bringing the bus to a halt.

Lurker got up from his seat, and Ellen said to him, "Nice talking with you, Mr. Smith."

"Yeah, sure," said Lurker as he took his bag and left the bus. His armored foot splashed into a mud puddle as he exited the transport, and he went off to the side of the road as the bus rolled onward. He strode through the drizzling rain, paying no heed to the staring Matoran. He then walked from the bus station into the town, following the directions he had been given to a little white house with a white picket fence, with a big oak tree in the backyard. He opened the gate in the fence, careful not to accidentally break it. He then went up to the door of the house, and banged on it with his fist. It was a miracle that it didn't give way, though his rapping would leave a mark.

A few minutes later, a Ga-Matoran answered the door. She was bent over with age, and wore a Kanohi Komau. "Welcome," she said slowly, hobbling out onto the porch. "Are you from the Dark Hunters?"

"Yes, I am," said Lurker. "I understand that you have an Ussal stuck up a tree?"

"Oh yes, yes," said the Ga-Matoran. "Here, I'll show you around the back." She walked down the porch steps and lurched over to the back gate, Lurker following her. He walked with her to the oak tree, and peered up the trunk. High up in the tree, he spotted the Ussal, perched on a branch as thick as Tracker's head.

"What took you so long?" asked the Ga-Matoran. "You said you'd have operatives dispatched within twenty-four hours. I've been waiting for a week!"

"We process a lot of orders, ma'am," said Lurker, trying to keep his patience. He looked up the tree, and then looked back to the elderly Matoran. "Okay, ma'am," said Lurker. "I'll climb up the tree and save your Ussal. But before I can do that, I'll need you to fill out some tablet work." Lurker set his bag down on the ground, and rooted through it. He pulled out a few tablets and held them in front of the Ga-Matoran. "Sign here," he said, handing her a chisel." The Ga-Matoran signed. "And here," said Lurker. The Ga-Matoran signed. "And here." She signed again. "And here. And here. And here. And... here." The Ga-Matoran then looked up at Lurker, saying to him, "How many more things must I sing, Mr...."

"Lurker," said Lurker. "That was the last one. Now, if you'll excuse me..." Lurker dug into his bag, and pulled out his tails. He attacked them to their spots on his body, and then went to the base of the tree. He hopped up onto the trunk, shaking some leaves out of the tree. He climbed expertly, ascending high into the tree. Finally, he reached the branch where the Ussal was. "C'mon, you little crab. Come over here, girl. Here, Ussal crab."

The crab didn't move.

"C'mon, c'mon," he said. The crab still didn't move. Lurker then decided that it was time for other tactics. He put his hands on the tree branch, and then dropped down until he was hanging from the branch by his claws, his left hand gripping one side and his right hand gripping the other, with the branch directly over his head. He spotted the Ga-Matoran below, who was watching worriedly. Lurker swung along the tree, digging his claws into the branch, and shaking leaves off of the tree with each shimmy. He would take out a hand, and then stick it ahead of the other, shimmying his way to the Ussal. Eventually, he reached the spot where the Ussal was. "Alright, Ussal," Lurker said. "Come to papa!" He reached up and grabbed the Ussal, and then swung it behind him, where it was grabbed by his tails. Once the Ussal was secure, he turned around and shimmied back to the main trunk, climbing back down. He then deposited the Ussal crab in front of the Ga-Matoran. He said to her, "I hope that the Dark Hunter service was everything you hoped for, ma'am. That will be one hundred and fifty widgets."

"Oh, thank you, sir!" she said. She slowly walked back into her house, and ten minutes later, she slowly came back out, and handed Lurker a sealed envelope. "This is a check for the amount you named," she said. "Once again, thank you very much."

"A pleasure doing business with you," said Lurker. "Good bye." He took up his bag, stored his tails in it, and stomped out of the gate onto the sidewalk. He headed for the bus station, going to a payphone. He tried to take the phone, but it was too small for his claws to manipulate. He tried to press the buttons, but his fingers were too big. "Dang it," he muttered to himself. He grabbed a passing Onu-Matoran and said, "Hey, short stuff. Take the phone and dial this number for me. Here's a dime." The Onu-Matoran nervously deposited the dime, and then dialed the number. He then handed the phone to Lurker, who said, "Thanks," and then kicked the Onu-Matoran away. Lurker waited for the phone to be answered. A voice on the other end finally came through, saying, "Dark Hunters Inc."

"This is Lurker," said the Dark Hunter. "I'm calling from Nynrah. I've just completed my mission and collected my payment."

There was a silence on the other end of the line. The voice then said, "Allow me to transfer you to the Operations Department." There was a small click, and then another, female voice said, "Dark Hunters Inc., Operations Department. How may I help you?"

"This is Lurker," said the Dark Hunter again. "I'm calling from Nynrah. I've just completed my mission and collected my payment."

"Please wait just a moment," said the voice. A minute later, she then said, "Would you describe the mission as successful or unsuccessful?"

"Successful, of course!" said Lurker, quickly losing his patience. He hated having to check in with HQ.

"Alright, sir," said the voice. "Let me transfer you to Ancient's office." There was another click, and then another voice said. "Ancient."

"This is Lurker," Lurker said for the third time. "I'm calling from Nynrah. I-"

"Yes, good job, Lurker," said Ancient. "There's another mission on Nynrah that I need you to see to. The Brotherhood of Makuta is hosting a press conference at the Letty Gord Center for Toa. I want you to sabotage it to the best of your ability. I would suggest throwing eggs at the speakers."

"But I-" said Lurker, before he was cut off. He looked at the phone in anger, inadvertently crushing the phone in his hand. He bellowed in anger, before realizing that he was in the center of a crowded bus terminal. He then set the phone down, and said to the Le-Matoran maintenance man who was staring at him, "The phone's broken." He then walked away, going to the ticket desk. He said to the Ga-Matoran behind it, "In what city is the Letty Gord Center for Toa?"

"The LGCT?" said the receptionist. "That would be in Fe-Metru." Lurker thanked the receptionist, and bought a ticket to Fe-Metru. He then went to wait for his bus. It was time for another long ride.

Next: Nobody's fool enough to do this mission for the OMN!

X-Ray


"When do you ever do anything that doesn’t relate back to a point you are trying to prove?”Nuju asked. It was a rhetorical question."


My eyes trailed off over his shoulder as I thought of a response.


"I've been participating in some fairly big science projects. Many value my comprehensive knowledge on the prophecies, so I haven't run out of interesting work just yet. However, I have been relegating myself to smaller works."

The first of these quotes should have a quotation mark before "rhetorical." The second of these quotes should have a space between those two paragraphs.

This was an altogether touching story. You wrote the dynamic between Ihu and Nuju quite well, demonstrating the contrast between their two personalities perfectly. Granted, as we know little about Ihu from canon sources, you were mostly free to come up with your own characterization of him, though I thought that it was well done. I also liked the line about Nuju naming something after Ihu. Foreshadowing, no? The pacing was well written, the three parts and the epilogue of your story meshing together excellently. One thing I took as a sort of throwaway joke was the ludicrous number of tablets that Nuju had carved out during his and Ihu's excursion to Ga-Metru. If you were being serious, well, I don't know what to say.

I wish you luck in the contest, sir, and happy trails.

Sincerely, X-Ray

I like this background very much. The Voya Nui style Matoran lettering is a nice touch. I too like the Voyatoran, and congratulate you on this new piece of artwork.

X-Ray

Nice cup, sir. I would have put an actual chronicler on it, like Takua, Hahli, or Kopeke, even a Kanohi Hau or the three virtues logo would have done the trick. But I understand that you probably took a lot of time and effort to make this, so, kudos for making a cool mug.

X-Ray

My favorite set that I own? Hard to say since I boxed up all by sets a while ago, but I would say Hewkii Mahri, maybe Avak. I like Avak as a character, because of his knack for inventing, and I think that his prison power is cool, but I like Hewkii Mahri as a set because he's got all these little add-on pieces, which is great of MOC building.

X-Ray

I am especially fond of Move Along by the All American Rejects, though I also very much like Nathan Furst's soundtrack for the original Bionicle film trilogy. Cryoshell's songs I all liked a lot, though I care little for the music produced by All Insane Kids.

X-Ray

What we have here is a small time psychological thriller, telling the story of Makuta's usurpation of Turaga Dume's role from the perspective of a Matoran. You did well describing the thoughts and sensations as witnessed by Kodan, relaying his emotions very clearly. I also like how you gave Makuta a legitimate reason to have Kodan eliminated.

However, I don't think Makuta would have really been so careless as to leave a door open in the middle of him doing... whatever it was he was doing. I also would have liked to see more of Kodan himself, such as him interacting with a witness to Nidhiki's prowls, or a conversation with Toa Naho. We only get to see him interact with his elder, "Turaga Dume." I feel that you could have done well to show Kodan interacting with someone else, just to spice it up.

All in all, I found this story to my liking, though I would have done some things a little differently. I wish you luck in the contest, Ms. ZippyWharrgarbl.

Sincerely, X-Ray

In your story, you did a good job of humanizing Jovan, so to speak. A gloomy Turaga who spends his spare time reliving his glory days is a new spin which breaks the established mode for Turaga. I also got a chuckle out of the part where you wrote, "Naturally, they wasted time gaping," or something like that.

However, I do take issue with your portraying Balta as less that courageous, as I believe that goes against his established characterization. On the other hand, I do note that you took into account Piruk's personality, and kept in mind the side effects of Dalu's weapon. But one other thing I felt was wrong was the pace. The build up to finding the Fenrakk nest should have been slower, more suspenseful, and the running away from the spiders could have more vigorous. As it was, this latter part was rather frenetic, awkwardly inter-cut with Jovan's reminiscing.

All told, this story was okay, but there were some things that could have been done better. I wish you luck in the contest.

X-Ray

I am of the opinion that the books series Bionicle Adventures, which covered the Metru Nui era, and Bionicle Legends, which covered the Voya Nui/Mahri Nui/Karda Nui eras, should have had their titles switched around.

Why? Because it makes more sense for a series of stories about the tales of past adventures to be called Legends, and the tale of present adventures to be called Adventures.

So, what are the thoughts of you denizens of BZPower's thoughts on this?

X-Ray

I enjoyed this story. I believe that your portrayal of Spiriah as a mad scientist who was also absolutely full of himself was very effective, the characterization lending itself greatly to the narration. The contrast between his current squalor and his past status as a Makuta could would have done well to have been played up a bit more, perhaps with more emphasis on the description of his laboratory. I also liked how you wrote his interactions with Krika and Chirox, playing off of a scene from The Mutran Chronicles. It was nice to see Spiriah's point of view from that exchange, and of course he thinks the others are just jealous when he is criticized. Your explanation of why the Zyglak became friendly with Spiriah was also a good touch. I had wondered how he had gotten them to follow his lead, just like you wrote of Krika employing the power of sleep to subdue Miserix. It is small touches like that that make for a good story.

X-Ray

I liked your portrayal of Zaktan in this story. It was very in depth, showcasing his cunning and tactical brilliance. I also liked how you portrayed the rest of the Piraka, particularly during the safe cracking scene.

However, I wasn't exactly thrilled with the length you took in describing the Piraka's mission to Zaktan. It was admittedly interesting to see a new adventure with the Piraka, which explained how they got their Zamor launchers and Nektann plans to boot, but I would have preferred to see Zaktan's take on being transformed into Protodites, which you did not mention, and maybe some more coverage on how he interacted with the other Piraka. Perhaps you could have chosen a more stealth based mission to highlight Zaktan's cunning. As it was, the battle scene was a bit of a drag and didn't bring out anything new in the Piraka. Also, you misspelled "utilizing."

All told, this story did well expanding on little details from mainstream canon, such as the Toa of Plasma and the safe cracking scenes, but where you beat your own path, I'm afraid to say that you got lost. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you beat a bad path, it just could have been a little better.

X-Ray

Although I had no proof, I thought that the Dark Hunters may be involved.

I believe this should be, "I thought then that the Dark Hunters may have been involved," perhaps with the addendum "I was right."

In spite of this single error, I liked this story very much. You tell Nidhiki's story very well, adding some new dimensions to his tale. You capture the essence of our bitter ex-Toa quite well. I also applaud your used of Mimic, who is one of my favorite Dark Hunters. You may want to explain what happened to Mimic and the other captured hunters after the war. Were they sent back with the Dark Hunters after the conflict ended? Did they remain imprisoned? Which one? But nevertheless, this is an excellent piece of work, and I wish you well in the contest, Mr. Exitium.

Sincerely, X-Ray

This is a well written entry in this S&T contest. Lhikan's voice is easy to hear in your writing, and his account of this incident is a fascinating read. I congratulate you for giving new information on how Lhikan became a Toa, and Dume's history. I also liked the window of insight into Lhikan's personality, in that this story represents him as not quite yet the ideal hero that we all know and love, but nonetheless on his way there. I also found it hard to believe that Lhikan was able to work with this Toa of Fire guy without even knowing his name. I only other thing I seek from this story is more of it- it is somewhat short. Nevertheless, I wish the writer luck in this contest.

X-Ray