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Posts posted by Toa of Nerds
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Just a thought, but the volcano is Mata-Nui's nose, right? So does that mean that the lava is essentially Mata-Nui's snot?But on topic, I think there is some sort of protodermis alloy that is strong enough to surf on lava. The villagers of Ta-Koro did it all the time, so there's no reason why Tahu's swords wouldn't do the same. However, I'm sure that Tahu's elemental powers do increase the metal's heat resistance to even beyond the normal resistance of the metal.-don't touch my pocket protectorHadn't thought about the face thing... but still, I have no idea how the systems in Mata Nui's face work so...So Ta-Metru just pumps up molten protodermis through... what, exactly? And what purpose would that serve?
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I apologize for being late on this chapter, but on Friday my internet inexplicably went out and I only got it fixed today. Next week's product will be on time, internet willing.
Product Twenty-One (BZPower Mystery Box)
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Useless BZPower Junk That You Must Have! has always been about sending you random junk that you don’t need.Audience: Yeah!Announcer: However, we’ve never given you an actual random piece of junk.Audience: What?Announcer: That’s right, nobody knows exactly what this is, because it’s completely random! You don’t know what you’ll get and we don’t know what we’ll give you! It’s a brilliant idea!Audience: How is that a brilliant idea?Announcer: Well, think about it. We have you idea what you want. And, quite honestly, you have no idea what you want either.Audience: True!Announcer: So why bother thinking you want something when you could just cut to the chase and roll the dice!Audience: Yeah!Announcer: That’s why we’re introducing our brand-spanking-new BZPower Mystery Box!Audience: Wow! A mystery box!Announcer: While this won’t be the first time you have no idea what you’re doing when you purchase a UZBJTUMH! product, it will be the first time we’ve told you so! And that’s a miletone!Audience: Amazing! We’re watching history here folks!Announcer: Here’s how it works: we simply use Random Word Generator 5000, and send you the first word that pops up in a mysterious box with a question mark on it!Audience: Wow!Announcer: Check out some of the amazing products people have found:GOLD!MONEY!CARIBIEAN CRUISE!(results not typical)Audience: Ah!Announcer: You see, you could get something amazing! Imagine getting a whole box full of gold, and you only paid $19.95!Audience: What a deal!Announcer: Oh yes! This might just be our BEST DEAL OF ALL TIME!!!Audience: The best deal of all time?Announcer: That’s right!Audience: Wow!Announcer: There could be absolutely anything in the box! Gary, put up some more examples!DEAD FROGS!MOLDY CHEESE!BOOGERS!(results much more typical)Announcer (whispering): Um, Gary, was that the wrong slide?Audience: Amazing!Gary: [shrug]Announcer: Um, anyway, all those possibilities for only $19.95!Audience: No way! I want my boogers!Announcer: But that’s not all, because if you call right now, we’ll double the offer!Audience: That’s twice as good as the best deal ever!Announcer: That’s right! You’ll get two mystery boxes, so that means you could get two, um, boogers!Audience: Yay!Announcer: This is a one time offer! So if you like buying things without any knowledge of the stuff you’re purchasing whatsoever, then call right now!Audience: Yeah! Call now and get yo boogers!
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-What is your favorite memory of the BZPower of the past?I don't know, posting around, listing to the BZPowercast, getting reviews for things I've written. Nothing specifically jumps out, it's just the whole experience.-What keeps you here?Mainly the community and my current comedy.-How long do you plan to stay here?For the foreseeable future.-don't touch my pocket protector
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I had to go and open my big mouth....-don't touch my pocket protector
Oh yeah, go wings! They're very experienced, and even though Linstrom is 40, he's still one of the best defensemen in the game. Datsyuk is, in my opinion, the most entertaining player to watch. You can never count Detroit out, but I think right now Pittsburgh is the team to beat.-don't touch my pocket protectorRED WINGS, BABY, YEEEAH! (Read in Austin Powers' voice, please!)I have a Red Wings backback.My big bro says thats what's waying me down (it's 30 lbs. with all of my school stuff in it!).I used to live about 50 miles West of Detroit, so yeah.Michigan ALL THE WAY!
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From what I understand, EP is controlled by destiny and not by chance. What it exactly is we may never know, but without it a lot of things would be different in the Bionicle story.-don't touch my pocket protector
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Product Twenty
Credit to Kohrak Kal17
Announcer: Are you too lazy to write a meaningless blog post?Audience: Yes!Announcer: Are you unable to think of anything that is totally not worthwhile to say to say?Audience: Yes!Announcer: Then you need Auto Blogger 1717!Audience: Yes!Announcer: This incredible service offers you worry-free, effort-free, brain-free blogging!Audience: Wow!Announcer: Simply let it hack into your account, steal, um, I mean, obtain all your personal info, and it will start spewing out 17 word blog posts 17 times a day!Audience: 17 to da 17!Announcer: That’s right! (although actually it would be 172, but it didn’t have the same ring to it.)Audience: Amazing!Announcer: This automatic blogger spits out the same kind of stuff you would post regularly, except you don’t have to do the work!Audience: Yay!Announcer: Check out the amazing results of Auto Blogger 1717!
I’m eating a tuna sandwich. Tomorrow I might eat a tuna sandwich, but I just don’t know.
Me again. I just finished my tuna sandwich. It was good. I hope tomorrow’s is the same.
I’ve seriously gone so low as to blog about tuna sandwiches. Oh well, that is a shame.
Audience: Incredible!Announcer: That’s right, no longer will have to waste time writing blog posts. Now you can waste time browsing BZPower instead!Audience: All right!Announcer: But wait! Auto Blogger 1717 can be set to any number of words or posts per day that you want! Want an Auto Blogger 1213? It’s yours! How about a Auto Blogger 156? Just set it that way and Auto Blogger 1717 will follow your command!Audience: Amazing!Announcer: But that isn’t all! If you call right now, we’ll also throw in the Random Word Generator 5000!Audience: What?Announcer: Do you ever have writer’s block on a big project your supposed to be working on? Well, never fear, this incredible product will produce random words to fill up space!Audience: Amazing!Announcer: And it’s so successful that our very author uses it when writing our commercials!Audience: Cats! Chimney! Tater Tot! Bug Spray!Announcer: But hold on! Because if you use your credit card when you order, then we’ll also throw in Auto-Tagger!Audience: What?Announcer: Auto-Tagger lets you put big obnoxious tag clouds on your blog that will annoy everybody who visits it!Audience: Nice!Announcer: Nothing says “I want attention” than a shameless splatter of semi-related words to generate google hits!Audience: That’s right!Announcer: So call now and you’ll get Auto Blogger 1717, Random Word Generator 5000, and Auto-Tagger all for the low, low price of $49.95!Audience: Incredible!Announcer: This amazing product is not available in stores so you need to order right now!
DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO! DITTO!I’ve seriously gone so low as to blog about tuna sandwiches. Oh well, that is a shame.
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The Forever War by Joe Haldeman. That was a fantastic book, maybe the best I've ever read. It showcases the tragedy of war better than any other book I've read, and the story itself is just brilliant. Really a terrific book that I'd recommend to anyone.
:surprised:Wow, you just listed off my reading list. I finished Game of Thrones a week ago, loved reading Ender's Game a year ago, and am planning on reading the Hunger Games soon. That's pretty creepy.-don't touch my pocket protectorI finished A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin a few weeks ago. Good book, incredibly detailed. Not an "easy" read, but enjoyable if you allow yourself to get absorbed in the world. I'm about half way through A Clash of Kings and I'm enjoying it just as much, if not more. I was hoping to finish it before Season 2 starts on HBO, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I am completely absorbed by this series.Last year I really enjoyed Ender's Game and Speaker for the Dead. I now understand why many consider Orson Scott Card to be a genius of sci-fi. I liked Ender's Game more, but both are great reads. Strong characters, gripping stories, captivating mystery. Short, great reads anyone should read.I'm also listening to The Hunger Game on audiobook. I've never listened to a book, but it's actually quite fun. I've been driving a bunch for while I've been covering my friends job and the hours have flown by. I'm almost through with the first book. I have enjoyed the story so far, but I've yet to get to a point where I'm all "OMG HUNGER GAMES." I should finish listening to it at work tomorrow.
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Oh yeah, go wings! They're very experienced, and even though Linstrom is 40, he's still one of the best defensemen in the game. Datsyuk is, in my opinion, the most entertaining player to watch. You can never count Detroit out, but I think right now Pittsburgh is the team to beat.-don't touch my pocket protectorRED WINGS, BABY, YEEEAH! (Read in Austin Powers' voice, please!)I have a Red Wings backback.My big bro says thats what's waying me down (it's 30 lbs. with all of my school stuff in it!).I used to live about 50 miles West of Detroit, so yeah.Michigan ALL THE WAY!
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Dune. The book was fantastic. The movie was an epic failure of titanic proportions. After I watched that movie I thought to myself, "wow, that movie did absolutely nothing right." The pacing was absolutely terrible. Do date, it is the only movie I've ever seen that was both too fast and too slow at the same time. Every single boring part of the book was displayed to its fullest extent while every good part of the book was skipped. What made it worse was the fact that the book was one of the best science fiction books of all time, and so it wasn't there wasn't a good plot there.-don't touch my pocket protector
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It's hard to tell, but I get the impression that the Bionicle world is smaller than our world. If I had to put down an estimate it would probably be in the hundreds of thousands. Of course, there could be whole cultures on Spherus Magna that we've never seen, but from what we know that's my guess.-don't touch my pocket protector
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I like the idea. It gives them the recognition they deserve without having confusion as to who is really staff and who's retired.-don't touch my pocket protector
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Easter Special
Announcer: Have you spent hundreds of dollars on silly plastic Easter eggs?Audience: Yeah!Announcer: And those plastic eggs cause cancer as well (none of these claims have been verified by the FDA).Audience: Yeah!Announcer: Then you need the BZPower Organa-Eggs!Audience: Wow!Announcer: These bio-degradable all-natural eggs come from real chickens!Audience: Nice!Announcer: Why give your kids fake eggs when you get these strait from nature?Audience: Because you can’t put candy in them!Announcer: Not with BZPower Organa-Eggs! These eggs come from purely genetically modified eggs that have little doors in them to insert the goodies!Audience: Nice!Announcer: So make your Easter egg-cellent, ha ha!Audience: BOOOO!Announcer: Hey! I didn’t write this! Anyway, now you’ll get to save the environment because
- [*]They’re recycled eggs, and[*]They’re biodegradable
That way, you won’t fill those land fills with a bunch of plastic eggs.Audience: Awesome!Announcer: But that isn’t all!Audience: It isn’t?Announcer: If you order right now, then we’ll have a real fake Easter Bunny show up at your door! To deliver these eggs!Audience: Wow!Announcer: But that’s not all, we’ll also throw in this Easter Chicken to produce more Organa-Eggs for your next Easter, all completely free (just pay separate shipping and processing)!Audience: No Way!Announcer: That’s right, and you’ll also get this amazing door-inserting kit to install a mini-door onto the eggs!Audience: Incredible!Announcer: So if you’re buying this, you aren’t just buying Organa-Eggs for one Easter, you’re buying them for a lifetime!Audience: Whoop!Announcer: This amazing package is available for ONLY four EASY payments of $19.95! With a price that low, there’s no reason to settle for a lame Easter!Audience: That’s right!Announcer: But are we done?Audience: NO!Announcer: That’s right, because we’re also going to throw in a truck-load of candy!Audience: Yes!Announcer: Complete with the truck that carries it:Announcer: So enjoy your free jelly-bean!Audience: Yeah!Announcer: And call now!Audience: That’s right!
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Just a note, the next chapter will be tomorrow instead of today, so the Easter Special will make sense .-don't touch my pocket protector
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I always liked Toa Matau's mask power. I forget the name, but I always thought shape-shifting was an awesome power.-don't touch my pocket protector
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Mainly the story. That was what really drew me in to Bionicle, and eventually to this very website.-don't touch my pocket protector
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I don't know really know what to say. When things like this come around all I can really do is pray for the family. Rest in peace, Heather.-don't touch my pocket protector
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Hmmm, interesting. I'll see what I can think of.-don't touch my pocket protector
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Obviously I didn't learn from my mistake . Anyway, the next chapter is:Two Product Seventeens?ANyway, the free gift chapter was hilarious. I actually like "Host" better than "Announcer."
Product Nineteen
Announcer: Has this ever happened to you?
Audience: Yes!Announcer: Then you need Inflection Detector 7000!Audience: Ooooooh!Announcer: That’s right, you never can understand what people are saying over the internet, partly because of the terrible grammar, but mostly because of the lack of inflection. Well, Inflection Detector 7000 will fix this!Audience: Awesome!Announcer: And what’s great is how simple it is to use this product! All you do is plug the special Inflection-Enhanced ear-buds into your audio output, and put them inside your ears!Audience: Easy!Announcer: Then, a disembodied voice will read all the posts and tell you what tone they are implying!Audience: Wow, I didn’t know disembodied voices could read!Announcer: I didn’t know either! Check it out:This person said I had a great MOC, but I can’t tell if he really means it or if he’s just being sarcastic.
“Subtle sarcasm overlaid with a twinge of jealousy”This is great, isn’t it?
“Facsimile praise over-shadowed by personal angst.”Wow, you certainly are an artist!
“Incredulous disbelief”Audience: Wow!Announcer: And now you can respond appropriately!Audience: Yeah!Announcer: Check out what our satisfied customers are saying:This MOC is terrible!
Before I actually had to read posts and stuff, but now I just listen to Inflection Detector 7000 and it tells me exactly how to respond!
This product is incredible! Now I can almost post intelligently!
Announcer: That’s right! Everybody loves the Inflection Detector 7000, and if you order now, you’ll love the price, too!Audience: Really?Announcer: Yes! This incredible innovation is available for only $49.95!Audience: No way!Announcer: And if you order now, then we’ll also throw in the musical expansion!Audience: What?Announcer: You heard me right! Whenever Inflection Detector 7000 detects an inflection, it will play appropriate music instead of speaking to you, if you have the musical expansion enabled!Audience: What?Announcer: Well, this is something that you have to see to believe!Without it, I wouldn’t know what anybody would be saying!
“Poker Face” by Lady GagaHmmm, I’m not sure about your MOC…
“Misery” by Maroon 5Yuck, that picture is TERRIBLE!
“Apologize” by One RepublicWhy did you say all those mean things about me?
“Creep” by RadioheadAudience: Ah! Now we see!Announcer: That’s right, and sometimes you should take Inflection Detector’s device; creeps really don’t belong here!Audience: Here here!Announcer: So call now, and you’ll get this amazing product, plus the bonus music package, for only $49.95!Audience: Call now!Stop stalking me!
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Dude, I just got nostalgia'd. All of that reminded me of why I loved Bionicle. It's pretty sweet, and very well put together. I love it.-don't touch my pocket protector
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Product Eighteen
Thanks to Belonephobia for the idea
Announcer: Do you spend hours working on an incredibly intelligent, insightful post only to have nobody respond?Audience: Yes!Announcer: Do you want people post in your topic so you’ll have a top ten hot topic fame and glory?Audience: Yes!Announcer: Then you need Post-O-Matic 56,000,000!Audience: Wow! 56,000,000Announcer: That’s right, it’s named after the number of post you’ll get in your topic!Audience: Awesome!Announcer: Here’s how this amazing product works: just post a topic and tell this amazing program to:Audience: Post-O-Matic!Announcer: That’s right! Nearly 56,000,000 posts worth of useless spam will fill your topic to the brink, keeping your thread permanently at the top of the forum!Audience: It’s like it was pinned!Announcer: That’s right! And it’s not like you ever cared about what people actually said about your topic? Right?Audience: Right!Announcer: Plus, this isn’t that much worse than the normal responses to a GD topic! So it’s just like normal except you get millions more replies!Audience: Amazing!Announcer: Let’s see this amazing product in action:
So guys, what’s your favorite topic?
THIS ONE!
THIS ONE!
Announcer: And so on!Audience: Hey, is that a DITTO!?Announcer: What? No! That’s in the program!Audience: Oh, good! We know DITTO’s are never bad when they’re programmed in!Announcer: That’s right!Audience: Your sarcasm meter’s broken.Announcer: That’s right! Check out what our customers are saying about this incredible product:
DITTO!THIS ONE!
Before I never had anybody post in my topic, but now I’ve got over 50 million, plus a bunch of staff members! Whoopie!
I never got on the hot topics’ list. Now with Post-O-Matic 56,000,000, I’m still not on the hot topics’ list because the list is broken. Oh well, at least I’ve got millions of fake-adoring fans!
Audience: Wow! It even heals mental health problems!Announcer: Heck, it causes mental health problems!Audience: No way!Announcer: This product is amazing, but it’s made even more amazing with the optional Intelli-Response ™ enhancement!Audience: What?Announcer: Intelli-Response ™ detects the Thread IQ ™* of your thread to match its responses to the IQ of the thread! So instead of spitting out meaningless spam, Intelli-Response ™ spits out consistent meaningless spam!*obtained by factoring in grammar, post structure, punctuation, and general annoyingness.Audience: Wow!Announcer: All that for only an extra 49.95! Check out Intelli-Response in action:My psychiatrist told me that I suffered from paranoid delusions where I would imagine millions of people coming from the woodwork to respond to random stuff I said! Now I know it’s true, and I can go tell my psychiatrist to shove it!
TAHUUUS’ DA BESTEST TOAS EVA!!!!!! :smeag:
HE TOTALLYS IZZ!!!!!!!! :smeag:
OH YEEAH DUZES IZ HEE!!!! :smeag:
DAH BEXST TOAS TAHUUUU!!!!! :smeag:
Audience: There it is again!Announcer: No worries, check out this other example:
DITTO!DAHY BEXST TOAS TAHUUUU!!!!! :smeag:
Tahu has an unimaginable intellectual capacity, very befitting of the most esteemed toa on this fair land of Mata-Nui.
Cheerio! Tahu’s quite the bloke, isn’t he?
Ooooooh, yes good sir, Tahu’s quite a fine chap.
Fine sir, would you not agree that Tahu has quite the intellect?
Audience: Wait, that isn’t spam!Announcer: Oh really, what does spam mean?Audience: Stupid Pointless Annoying Message?Announcer: Now what’s more stupid, pointless, and annoying that an obnoxious over-done fake British accent?Audience: Good point.Announcer: So what are you waiting for! Call now! It may be spam, but it’s your spam, and that has to mean something!Audience: It does!Announcer: So call now!
DITTO!Fine sir, would you not agree that Tahu has quite the intellect?
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I agree, but not before Makuta impersonated him. He could have died after that, but not before.I think a bunch of villagers like Kopeke and Macku could have died and nobody would notice the difference. They really didn't go on to affect the plot in a major way.-don't touch my pocket protector
He did die, and it was screwed. (Terry did it)Turaga Dume. He was locked away and impersonated, and when he was freed, everyone forgot all about him.And imagine if Matoro died... the whole universe would be screwed. XD
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I really like Dark Mirror. The whole concept really enthralled me, and it was what really got me into serials.-don't touch my pocket protector
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You beat me to it Bones. Think about it, the original Toa Mata didn't have knees or elbows, and the original matoran didn't have much articulation at all. In later years the Toa grew to where they had elbow and knee joints, and the matoran gained some posability. Newer Toa essential had two Toa-Mata-limb-sized pieces in each arm and leg. This made the sets much bigger, but it also had the unfortunate effect of giving them gorilla-like proportions.-don't touch my pocket protectorSimple -- and most of us active on here at the time were well aware of the reason -- to add more points of articulation. The later Matoran gained about as much articulation as the original Toa, hence they had to get closer to that size, and the later Toa got knees and elbows and necks, unlike the originals, so they too had to get bigger.
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Oh shoot, that was a complete mistake. I'll leave it in there to serve as a remind to double check my work .-don't touch my pocket protectorFree fortune cookie? Despite the fact that I can just write some wise stuff on rice paper and stick it in an Oreo, I want one!Must call.And has the Announcer changed his name?
Natural Or Artificial Boundaries?
in Bionicle Storyline & Theories
Posted
Since I tend towards science fiction more than fantasy, I like artificial boundaries. Futuristic technology of all kinds fascinates me, so I really liked the artificial boundaries of Metru-Nui (and Metru-Nui as a whole). Specifically, I loved the idea of the chutes. The whole concept was just terrific and rivals some of the best that science fiction has come up with. -don't touch my pocket protector