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-Toa Lhikevikk-

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Blog Entries posted by -Toa Lhikevikk-

  7. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    Finally got to watch The Big Bang.
     
    I. LOVED IT.
     
    And Steven Moffat just had to leave two of the four big mysteries of this series unanswered. (Not sure whether to love or hate that, though.) At least the Doctor actually brought those questions up, instead of making the viewers go, "Wait, what the heck was this and that all about?"
     
    (Even with the month-long delay, I still got to watch it before you, Gornt Angel Bob. )
  9. -Toa Lhikevikk-

    Sanity

    By -Toa Lhikevikk-,

    Judge me by my sanity, do you? Hmmph.
     
    Allow me to state that I am insane. A truly insane person would not think themselves insane, so as I have just stated that I am insane, it stands to reason that I am not insane. However, by disproving my insanity, I deny that I am insane, so the possibilty still remains that I am indeed insane. A person can either be sane or insane, there is no other alternative because if one is not sane, by definition they are insane. If one is not insane, by definition they are sane. If one declares themslves to be of one state, they add evidence that they are of the opposite state, because an insane person cannot recognize that they are insane. Because of this, I simply cannot judge my own sanity. If I were to ask you to judge my sanity, I could neither agree nor disagree with you because to do so would be to judge my own sanity, which is impossible. Due to my inability to ascertain the soundness of your judgment, I would then not be of sound judgment, and by definition, would be insane. However, I would then be forced to recognize my own insanity, thereby disproving that I am insane. As a result, not only is it impossible for me to judge my own sanity, neither can anyone else. Because this is irrefutible logic, if anyone should think that they could judge my sanity, they would not be of sound reason and almost certainly be insane. Because some may not recognize this, as an outside observer I can with certainty determine the sanity of anyone else.
     
    In other words, no one has any right or reason to call me insane, yet I have every right and reason to call other people insane, because this is irrefutible logic.
     
    (I came up with this while holding a conversation with an imaginary psychiatrist, BTW.)
  10. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    If one is dead, they are not living.
     
    Living is the opposite of dying.
     
    But if one is dead, they are not dying, because they are already dead.
     
    If one is dying, they cannot be dead, because to be dead they have to have already died.
     
    If one is dying, they cannot be living, either, because living is the opposite of dying.
     
    There are two states of being. One is living or one is dead, there is no third option.
     
    If one is living, they cannot be dying, if one is dead, they cannot be dying. Since there is no third option...
     
    [drumroll]
     
    ...IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DIE!
  11. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    Imagine the epicness of this name-change prank (still working on who's who, kthxbai):
     
    We're no strangers to love (Electric Turahk)
    You know the rules and so do I (Zeddy)
    A full commitment's what I'm thinking of (Adventurer)
    You wouldn't get this from any other guy (Hahli Husky)
    I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
    Gotta make you understand...
     
    We've known each other for so long (Smeagol4)
    Your heart's been aching
    But you're too shy to say it (Than: Matoran of Anger)
    Inside we both know what's been going on (Taka-Tahu-Nuva)
    We know the game and we're gonna play it (Sisen)
    And if you ask me how I'm feeling...
    Don't tell me you're too blind to see (Takuta-Nui)
     
    Never gonna give you up (Black Six)
    Never gonna let you down (Toaraga)
    Never gonna run around and desert you (Master of the Rahkshi)
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye (Great Being #1)
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
     
    HALP THE STAFF ARE RICKROLLING US
     
    EDIT: ALSO 1000 VIEWS HOW CAN IT BE
  15. -Toa Lhikevikk-

    My Birthday

    By -Toa Lhikevikk-,

    -I miss being a kid ._.
    -GET FASTER, BZP [kicks server]
    -can someone explain to me what's so different about today
    -I fail to see a COT topic in my honour, but who cares I'm a non-conformist
    -my, the things I'll do to eat fish custard
    -note to self: to let a fly out of a moving vehicle, open window, not door
    -note to self: to let yourself out of a stationary vehicle, exit through door, not window
    -I got a cracked toenail for my birthday 8D
    -homeschool starts tomorrow, possibly last year of it so I might be on less often
    -I'm getting promoted to Third Floor :]
    -what was the point of this entry again
    -hey Sumiki don't forget that name changey thing
    -my PMship might run out any day now
    -I'll renew, don't worry
    -cheese pizza =/= pepperoni pizza
    -is there anything wrong with having enough OCD to fix a broken penlight you find at a store
    -one more line and I can welcome that scrollbar
    -YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
  23. -Toa Lhikevikk-
    (I'd do Michael Jackson and Ted Kennedy but we've got every other tabloid to cover them anyway.)
     
    The V Report: The W. "B." Mays Casefile
    Compiled by: Matthew W. w/ info gathered by Andrew T. and Joseph C.
    Date/Time/Location of incident: 7:45 AM, 28/06/09, Tampa, Florida
    Type of incident: Unexplained Death
     
    According to news reports, William Darrel "Billy" Mays, Jr. died of heart disease on June 28, 2009. But according to Billy Mays fact #98,725, Mays had no heart. He had a Tesla resonator. Instantly suspicious...
     
    Mays was an OxiClean salesman. Now, OxiClean HAS THE POWER TO REMOVE THE TOUGHEST STAINS FROM CARPETS! CLOTHING! FURNITURE! AND MORE! BUT WAIT! CALL WITHIN THE NEXT HALF HOUR AND YOU'LL ALSO GET--
     
    Bah, if you know who we're talking about, you'd know what OxiClean is already. Some other questions need asking...
    1. How could he die of heart disease if he had no heart?
    2. Who were OxiClean's competitors?
    3. What were those crop circles on his lawn? What's that? The news didn't mention those? Hmm...
    4. Who is this "Vince Offer" person? And why is he in jail?
    5. Are there any secret messages in the OxiClean ads?
    6. What other products did he sell?
     
    Andrew T. and Joseph C. have manged to dig this info up on Vince Offer:
    -Born on April 25, 1964 in Haifa, Isreal (possibly forged, according to our investigations)
    -First seen in a "comedy" movie that you don't need to know about
    -Advertises ShamWow and the Slap Chop (ooh, that last one sounds violent)
    -Arrested for something that you also don't need to know about
    -Has a creepy smile O_O
     
    The last three just scream "alien" to you, don't they? But back to OxiClean. It would put vacuum cleaners out of business, no? We already know that the vacuum cleaner business is in cohoots with aliens to take over the world. (We will explain this in a future casefile.)
     
    We have already concluded that Vince Offer is secretly an alien posing as a human. And now for the shocker... (obtained by M.W. from an informant known onl as "Xaeraz"):

    It is also common knowledge that everything you read on the internet is true. (Unless the aliens are behind it.) Here are five very reliable facts:
    1. Under his beard, Billy Mays has no chin. Just another set of vocal cords. (Why wasn't this revealed in the autopsy?)
    2. When he was a child, Billy Mays had his tonsils removed and replaced with megaphones. (Same here.)
    3. Billy Mays doesn't have lungs. He has sub-woofers. (Again, the coroners would have mentioned this.)
    4. Billy Mays has no heart. He has a Tesla resonator. (How could he have had heart disease, then?)
    5. Archaeologists in India recently discovered a new dinosaur. It was actually a bunch of dinosaurs, but it appears that the one in the middle killed the others by yelling at them. The dinosaur was originally called Billymaysaurus, but the Indian government made the archaeologists change it, because Billy Mays cannot die.
     
    That's right, he's alive, in hiding, no doubt. I, Matthew White, have already already sent my two best agents, Andrew T. and Joseph C., in search of Mays and Offer respectively. We'll keep you posted on this mission. May the Farce be with you.
     
    LONG LIVE YOUR LAUNDRY!
     
     
     
     
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