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Showing results for tags 'Musings'.
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Warning: Long Winded Philosophy-Thing Ahead I've been thinking about time for no good reason and noticed this; We will never live in the future. You may be thinking "But even as we sit here, we enter the future." True, but as soon as we enter the future it becomes the present. We can live in the last minute's future, but it's still the present. The last minute was the past, so its the past's future. Our present. My thinking may be hopelessly warped and I'm way off, but that's my thoughts. Varnka
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Discuss
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1- Mosquitoes suck, and so does Texas. 2- Seriously, Texas sucks. It's so friggin hot. 3- The youth group at my church is fantastic. 4- My small group was wonderful, and the kids were so supportive and loving. 5- John Hickman will be the best youth pastor ever. 6- I'm still directionless and purposeless. 7- All I know about my future is that I'd like to help people. 8- My family is my church. 9- The only reason I'll come home from school next year is because of these people. 10- Texan accents are disgusting. 11- Camp food doesn't always suck. 12- Kids are capable of the most inspiring and wonderful things in the entire world. 13- Unity is necessary for a youth group. Without it, the church is nothing. 14- When a group achieves this unity, as mine did this week, beautiful things happen. 15- People who say this new generation is worse than previous generations need to get a clue. 16- I love kids. 17- And seriously, Texas sucks.
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For those (few, I'm sure) who care, the following entry contains spoilers for the recently released Star Wars: Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice novel. You have been warned. (Also, for those of you who will read the book, and don't want spoilers, I advise you not to open to the last page in the book. Unlike most Legacy books, there's no 'sneak peek!' of the next one. The last page of the book is the last page of the novel. And the last line is the revealing of Jacen's Sith name. So if you want to get it good, DO NOT OPEN THE BACK COVER. So, Jacen Solo is a lucky man. Because if he wasn't a fictional character, I'd friggin' kill him. Not only was Mara's death cheap, but the fact that she died at all just really, really, really makes me mad. I've come to the point where I'm actually glad it was Anakin Solo who died in Star by Star (the most traumatizing SW novel moment I've ever had, as my first SW books and my first entry into the SW EU were the Junior Jedi books when I was in second grade, of which Anakin Solo was the hero). The original plan according to Del Rey was to have Jacen die, and Anakin become the hero of the series, but the Lucas literary department decided that having an Anakin as the hero would confuse readers (a fact that made me mad back then, but happy now). I'm now glad Anakin died, for if he hadn't, it'd be Anakin I'd hate right now, and I will never hate him. He'll always hold a special place in my heart (). But seriously. CURSE YOU JACEN SOLO. I HOPE YOU BURN BY THE END OF THIS ARC. BURN! But seriously seriously. I hope Ben is the one who gets to take Jacen down in the end. Either that, or Fett. So. Very. Frustrated. Too. Much. Emotional. Involvement. In. A. Fictional. World.
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Did you ever find yourself wishing you were at home, than stopping, because you realized you were at home? Or how about that moment when you realize that what was once your home, is no longer? This is especially true for those college-aged and beyond, when you realize the place you grew up in no longer belongs to you. It's an odd feeling. One of those sobering moments, where you realize what was once, is no more, and will never be again.
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Things I learned during my Sophomore year in college: GO TO CLASS.Freshman are funnyGirls are stupidGirls are awesomeConfusion is the normMy major is WAY easier than mostSleep is blessedSeriously, sleep is God's gift to mankindEveryone loves a good movieFree pancakes during finals week is where all the cool kids areNo one really knows who they are yet. Still.Academic Probation is easy to get on, and offI like having a roommateI hate being by myself for too longRelient K is my favoriteI miss my best friendTime flies, fun or notMy sister is oldLoans will kill youOklahoma can't decide on one type of weather a dayWalking everywhere is fun, and good for youMealplan goes too fastWe can't win an away basketball gameYou sleep better when you stop drinking caffeineBeing poor sucks
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Oh come off it. Seriously.
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This past week, I spent most of my life up in the great (haha, no) state of Michigan. My older cousin (the only one older than me in our little family group) was getting married. And I was a groomsman. It was really an odd experience. I've been to weddings before. But this was just a whole 'nother ball game. As a groomsman, I was on stage, and the bride and groom were only three feet away from me. I could've reached out, and tapped the minister on the shoulder had I wanted to endure the wrath of my cousin for ruining her wedding (something I assure you, I did not want to do. I have scars to prove she can be scary. And never make the bride mad at her own wedding. Advice from life). Somehow, this made the wedding more personal, more real. It was surreal. My cousin and I have always been friends. She's the only one in her blasted familt to treat me with any amount of respect, and she's been there for me when I needed a hand in life. Unlike the rest of her family, who are convinced I'm still a thirteen year old brat, she only treated me like a thirteen year old brat when I -was- a thirteen year old brat. It's weird to see somebody you care about up there under the veil. I don't think I can explain it. Regardless, I was definitely proud of her. She's an amazing person, and the groom, while nerdy, is an amazing man of character, and probably one of the only guys I'd approve of. It was also a very sobering event. Members of my famity I had never heard of, let alone met before, were coming up to me and laying the 'so, you're next in line for the wedding bells, eh?' on me. Lordy, am I really that close to being that old? Oh man, I am. I could be married in the next three or four years. I mean, I'm only in college for two and a half more. It's crazy. Life is crazy. So, yay for the newlyweds, aie for the future I'm not focusing on now (because it doesn't matter until it comes close to happening), and hooray for crazy.
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So, as I very cryptically posted the other day, I went on a retreat this weekend with Campus Crusade. Great fun was had. I met a lot of amazing people, and really got to know in-depth some people I already knew. I even leanred how to two-step! Though I had to dignify country as music in order to dance to it, and I was none too pleased about that. Because country isn't music. It's... noise. The speaker was amazing. He speaks the way I think and write, and I found him to be engaging and witty. His words stuck in my mind, and he really made me think. It was good. He posed a basic question that, I think, really impacted a lot of the students there. A lot of us know in our head something is true, yet have a hard time believing it true based on our experiences. There's a gap there, and it needs to be reconciled. So how does reconciliation come? He didn't answer the question for us. And none were to be had come Sunday. But his words still echo in my mind. Obviously the easiest way to believe something true is to experience it in our lives. But when experience is lacking, how does one bridge the gap? Can a bridge be built without experience? Or does our experience lead to the belief? Does the belief lead to the experience? It's an interesting question, even seperated from the religious connotations in which it was asked. It's something I'm definitely going to be mulling over for some time. Like I said, great fun was had.
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I'm a fan of beauty. Wether it be an amazing sunset, a beautiful girl, a perfect moment, a flower. It doesn't really matter. If there's beauty, I'm there, and I'm a fan. I've decided that beauty can be found anywhere. In the sky, in people, in emotions. Happiness, joy, peacefulness, sadness. Wherever it's to be found, I'm a fan. Even sadness, with all it's tragic trappings, is somehow beautiful, especially in its expression. Sad songs and poems in particular move my heart. I do not know what it is about sadness, but it's an emotion I find myself most moved by. I'm an empathetic person. I tend to feel the emotions of those around me, and in a way, they become mine. And somehow, out of all the emotions, sadness moves me the most. And I love it. There's beauty in brokeness. In such honesty that must, inevitabley, come with tragedy and sorrow. Maybe it's knowing that we all experience sorrow. Maybe it's because while happiness is fun to share, there's a bond forged in tragedy that is never ending. Maybe I just wish there was something I could do for the other person. And when it comes to music and poetry fused with sorrow... There's freedom there. And it's beautiful. I cannot think of another way to describe it. Beauty runs through it all. The entire tapestry of humanity. Then again, it might just be me.
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I'm in a bizarre state of mind. It's not exactly a pleasant state of mind, and I wish it gone. And so, as I always do, I shall write it away. For now. Some of you may know that I recently left home, going off to the University, and living in-dorm. And if not, now you do. Let me now inform you that while my profile location may say otherwise (which it does), I am indeed back in the lovely land of Tulsa, Oklahoma for the summer. And it's not exactly what I had expected home to be. I've gotten so used to the college life. Stay up until three or four AM, no problem. Classes don't begin until one-thirty PM for me anyway, so it's not exactly life-threatening. Well, now I must be up for work at nine-thirty in the AM. Yet, I don't exactly get off until ten or eleven at night. So that's no fun. Go to work, come home, go to bed, wake up, go to work? Yick. And man, I'm lonely. I've gotten so used to a live-in buddy, and the constant flow of people in and out of the dorm, that my family alone just doesn't cut it. I'm so miserabley lonely. And,man I'm so insanely bored. It's not like a college town is exactly bumping with things to do, yet somehow, good ol' T-Town is just too... known? But mostly, I miss my friend. My best friend and I were at different schools this past semester, so this summer's the first time we've really gotten a chance to hang. But man, it just hasn't worked out. And man, life just seems to be pulling us away. And dagnabbit all if I'm not afraid. See, a lot of you guys are middle school, high school age kids, and man, I wish I still was sometimes. I see so many complaining about high school, and homework, and yadda-yadda-school-is-horrible. But man, wait until it's gone. You're only a kid once, and man, now it's gone. And I miss it something terrible. . Life's not so much fun when you have to schedule three weeks in advance an hour of hang time because that's the only time so-and-so will be in town for the summer, and you absolutely must see them. Cherish what you've got, man. Before it's, like, gone. Because man, the adjustment period is just not so much of the fun. Especially when you realize what you could've done, and what you should've done back in the day. Dang. I'm still lonely. Well, that's a bummer. <<DV>>
