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Hello, peeps! Welcome to Phovos's Topic of Comedic Previews, or PhToCP! Sounds like some sort of racing tournament... Anyway, in this topic, I'll be bringing you a bunch of previews from a bunch of my old stories which I'm bringing back from the dead. or something like that. I could do this in The Comedy Expo (which you should all go and look at RIGHT NOW) but I won't want to mess that topic up with my ramblings...First up, Reading Over My Shoulder Is Dangerous To My Health. The main character used to be male Phovos, living on an island full of Bohrok. Now it's a female Phovos living somewhere on Bara Magna, near a bunch of portals.You know what? This planet needs more laptops. You see, my name is Phovos, and I am the only owner of a laptop within a 100km radius. Seriously. Okay, it doesn't have to be laptops, desktop computers would do, but the thing is, since I'm the only person who currently has one, everyone keeps on trying to read over my shoulder! It means I have to be really careful what I say and write and type. I mean, I have a reflective screen, but that doesn't help much when the person behind you is a Makuta. Makuta are like all shadows or something silly. It's worse when it's someone like Zaktann. The guy is like pure flying protodermis stuff. You can't even swat him away with a fly swatter or a newspaper. So annoying.Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. This is kinda like a blog. Not like my awesome blog that I write where I pretend to be a Medic from Team Fortress 2. No, this is a more Bionicle-y blog. I was going to write one and pretend to be Lehvak-Kal, but when I discussed that with him, he said he didn't like the idea. I said "Pleasssse?". He demanded cake. So no, I won't be writing that blog. Not unless Lehvak stops demanding that I make him a cake every day for the rest of his life until I die.Knowing my luck, I'd die first. The other day, I was browsing on this website. It's called Bionicle Zone Power, or BZP for short. With a name like that, I can see why everyone prefers saying BZP. Then I found out that no one calls it Bionicle Zone Power any more. AAAANYWAY, I was on BZP and I saw this topic. "What's your favourite red Bionicle?" the topic asked. Fair enough. Easy answer for me. Tahnok-Kal. Or Turahk. They're both great. But Nooooooo. Hakaan was reading over my shoulder. And so he shouts at me and sets my tail on fire for not mentioning him.Charming.Oh dag nabit. Ehlek wants to use my laptop. Wants to check his lottery numbers. Guess I'll be back later then...Well, that's that... Blog-like comedies used to be fairly popular. Not as much as Ask Us comedies or The Toa Nuva in X Silly Situation... Speaking of which... Did you ever know about The Toa Nuva's Ramblings? The Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings' little brother? No? Well, here's some of that too...Heheheheheehehehehehehehehehehe...What's so funny, Lewa?Oh... No-Nothing, Stone-Rock brother!It must be fairly funny... Otherwise you wouldn't be giggling like Macku on a date with Hewkii...No... It's no-nothing. Just a me-private thing.Oh, come on, you can tell me.Okay... You beat-win. I... I put... I put a sea-squid in Gali's tea. In the water-kettle.That... That isn't very nice.It's a trick-joke! It's not supposed to be very nice!Good point... Well, as long as you don't get torn in half like you did last time...Yes, that was not good-fun. It is a good thing that Onua had some sticky-tape-glue.So... What's with the tree speak all of a sudden?What do you mean?I read in your diary that you were giving up speaking tree-speak.You READ MY DIARY?Uh... Yeah...YOU...You know what? I'll leave it there, since I think that's a bit too bloody for our liking. That really does bring everything neatly back to my last preview for this topic. Yes, the pinnacle of comedy. One of the most original comedies to ever appear on BZP. Or not. Either way, it was a bloody good comedy... Okay, I'm boosting it up too much. I'll just leave you to read this preview of Pohatu's Stolen Diaries, the sequel to the (fairly) hit comedy, Phovos's (Stolen) Diaries!So, I was sitting there, in my house in what is now called New Po-Metru, reading a magazine about an oncoming sand storm and just twiddling my thumbs when Kopaka knocked on the door. I'm like the only person he actually speaks to, and I quickly had to glance at the clock to see if it was coffee time. It wasn't. So I let Kopaka in."Hello.""Hiya, Kopaka. How are you?" I ask."Well. I think this is yours."And with that, he plonks a book in my hands then disappears again. Typical Kopaka. For some reason, he gets my post. Dunno why. I glance at the book and scratch my head, accidentally knocking off my mask as I do so. I put my mask back on and read the book. It's not mine. It's Onua's book.It's his diary...Oh, don't look at me like that! If you were there, you would have read it too! The first page alone was amazing. One of the best bits was on page 25. Another good bit was here: So much ranting. So wonderful. So... Amusing.Of course, I haven't stopped there... Oh no, not even close. After I read though Onua's diary, I wondered what was in Gali's diary. And Tahu's diary. And Lewa's diary. And Jaller's diary. And everyone's diary.So I made a decision. I used my powers for evil instead of good. I am now not just a Toa Nuva. I am a stealer of diaries.And there we have it! Pohatu's slightly evil! Phovos got her tail set on fire. Gali has squid in her tea. Exciting stuff! Well, no. I guess we'll leave it at that then.In the fine words of RED Medic as a decapitated BLU Spy's head attached to a battery begged to be killed..."Later..."
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Vhat ze he...Hey, no swearin', doc! Ya forgot, we're on BZPower. We ain't in Texas any more. Or Teufort. Or...Or in zhat stuuuupid story zhat Phovos ze Raptor is writing?Well, er, heck yeah! Ain't that a good thin', partner?Nein. I liked being in zhat story.Wha' happened then? One minute, we're in the story, the next, we ain't!Hahaha! I have NO IDEA!That's... That's slightly creepy, doc.I am surprized zhat you are not used to it by now...Well, maybe I can explain a few things?Sure, why not, ya dumb, crazy Raptor!That is NOT very nice!Who ze flip are you?The name's Elkay. And I'm a master of creating portals between universes so we have dumb crossovers like this. I'm the one who created the portal that dumped you into the Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings Universe. Again vith ze acronyms! Vhat is it vith you and ze acronyms? Acronyms everyvhere!Phovos just likes acronyms. Anyway, I kinda messed up with that bunch of portal making. I accidentally brought two lots of Bohrok-Kal together. The almost-canon Bohrok-Kal from the Bionicle universe and the not-canon-and-actually-rather-organic Bohrok-Kal from the Phoviverse!It's not really called the Phoviverse... And I swear this green is different from the one above...Are you going to let me finish?Nope. It's my comedy.But you ASKED me to explain these things!No, I didn't! If you look up there, it clearly says "Well, maybe I can explain a few things?" in my green text! I said it, not you! You just burst in and interrupted me.Ah think that darn ol'Raptor is right, son. She did say tha' first!See, Mister Conagher agrees with me!Call me Dell, Phovos. Mr Conagher's mai father's name!Oh, okay. Dell agrees with me then.You know vhat? I don't really care...Aw, what's wrong, doc? Gettin' bored?Ja. It's been too long since I stuck needles into someone...That really isn't nice...Well, since you butted in, Elkay, you stupid, fat, squeaky-voices, short, plump, crunchy little creature, why don't you finish?Why does everyone want to insult me?You're talking to a Raptor and two mercenaries. What did you expect? Roses and chocolate?Erm... Yes, actually...Tough luck.FINE! YOU FINISH THEN!I was waiting for you to say that.I'm gonna go cry in this corner...Boo hoo, cry baby threan. Anyway, as the stupid Threavok (because that's what he is... Google it if you don't know) was saying, basically, I brought two sets of Bohrok-Kal together. Everything was fine and dandy, but after a while, I started to lose track of who was who. Worse, the two sets of Bohrok-Kal started arguing with one another. Just little arguments at first, but suddenly it turned into a full scale war.Ain't no surprise there...Well, I had to do something, so I sent the non-canon Bohrok-Kal back home before they killed one another. I hired Elkay to create a bunch of portals and send everyone home.Aw, you should have left ze dummkopfe. It vould have made for great entertainment...But I didn't want to. So... Let me get this straight, gal. This's just some big excuse t'streamline your stupid comedy?Aw.Erm, yeah.Y'know, this really sucks as a forgotten chapter.I know, but I wasn't sure what to write...You should be asssshaaaaaamed of yourself, Phovos...*sniff* I am... *sniff*
