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Entry title is a product of bashing the keyboard with my eyes closed. I feel like I should write a bonkle comedy making fun of the cliches of bonkle fanfiction. Kind of line this: On the island of Okoto, a great shadow had begun to loom over the island, permanently. This shadow, much unlike other shadows, was not merely metaphorical and meaning the power of the forces of evil over the island... it was literal too! Without light to sustain the farms that did not really need to exist, the villagers panicked. They had nothing to do! They were untrained, and without purpose, because Okoto does not have the three virtues. Instead, it had (and still has) the Six Virtues: Fear, Cower, Run Around Helplessly, Panic, Cower Some More, and Defeat. These virtues had shaped Okoto into the vaguely diamond-shape it was today! (author's Note: Okoto-Nui was once part of a much larger landmass: Spherus-Nui-Metrumatavoyamahri-Magna. However, Okoto had broken off out of Fear while its villagers Cowering, allowing the Island of Okoto to Float Around Helplessly, while Panicking about the thing, causing the villagers to Cower Some More, until they accepted Defeat.) But even then, this did not kill the villagers. They knew how to make fire, and used light from that via photosynthesis... at least the jungle villagers did. (What did you think the leaves extending off the feet were for?) In this lightless land, six Protectors sprung from the darkness to finally attempt to defend their home, in an unholy corruption of the six virtues. They were immediately branded as outcasts, yet this bothered them not, for they were unfazed by the petty insults of the entire island, which had been conspiring to insult these six protectors since their very branding as protectors. Cracks would form in the ground, spelling out obscene insults. In the water, jungle, and ice regions, rivers would rapidly meander to spell out "PROTECTRS R DUM", a shocking display of the illiteracy of the island. In the fire region, volcanoes would erupt in a symphony to the tune of one of the island's classic musical pieces: "BRING BACK G1 STORY", for the Fire Region and its inhabitants were known for their stubbornness. Specifically, the stubbornness to accept that G1 canon was over. Somehow they knew about G1 and that they were in G2. Perhaps it's the fumes from the volcanoes? Oh, sorry. Got sidetracked. Anyway, these Protectors were also insulted by the ancient city, which would combine skeletons to spell out more obscene insults. It just so happened that, on one extremely bright despite the shadow looming over the island, the six Protectors received Toa Stones, despite them not being Matoran, this being G2 despite Okoto being part of a combination of G1 islands, and that G2 had no connection to G1. 'Or did it?', said the reader, pondering the implications of the Protectors receiving Toa Stones and thinking about how they could shoehorn this into yet another 'g1 is connected to g2!!1!!1' theory, then complaining about the simplicity of 2015 claiming 2001 was so much more complex when they weren't actually around for 2001. These Toa Stones were immediately used up by the Protectors, who became... the Toa Not Actually Toa. They had a surprising effect, as these Protectors were not Matoran, they were traitors to the six virtues. The Toa Stones... had deemed them unworthy, and vaporising them into ash, and ash isn't 'Toa', hence their title: the Toa Not Actually Toa. This was the tale of what happened when you ignored the Six Virtues of Okoto and did that pesky 'defending the island from the evil spiders' thiing. I think. ^Kind of like that. In all likelihood I'll delete this five seconds after I post it. Except I won't, because now I just dared myself not to delete it. Except I might. Maybe I won't. Whatever, I'll just bash the keyboard again. The Protecotr aSre HWroes Ufndasty to Dewsnmgfedgvn Oktoeas. There.
