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I Wanna Be Sedated

Posted by Janus , Apr 01 2009 · 333 views



It is DONE.

And with this the summary of my time off last week is basically complete.

I was on various fun things that caused me to have dulled...everything.


Word count: 820


I wanna be sedated

Well, after all the fun I'd had not a day ago (See: The Joy of Painkillers for more information) I quickly figured out how to actually ingest a painkiller. Oh the fun.

It wasn't that bad, actually. In fact if I avoided biting into them then the disgusting taste was barely present. They went down just like any other vitamin.

However, as I got used to my little routine of swallowing a painkiller in the morning, a painkiller at lunch, and a painkiller later in the night...I was unaware of the fun that lurked for me in the future.

You see, I had conveniently forgotten about the prescription my dentist had written for me. Why? Because quite simply, he told me as he began to jot out the various pills I'd need to be taking:
"I'll write you a prescription for an antibiotic to help your gum heal, and I'll give you some Advil to help the pain. However I'll also give you a prescription for Tylenol threes. They have a sedative in them."

Now for those of you who actually know what I do. you will know this is the antithesis of what I need--for those of you who don't. You need to stalk me more effectively.

I kid, of course. I am a Martial Arts instructor--you can see how well that would match up with taking a sedative. The answer, in case you are wondering, is not at all.

And so I simply 'forgot' about my prescription. Or rather, I misinterpreted it. I believed rather foolishly that my dentist had written me two prescriptions--one for a painkiller WITH sedative and one for a painkiller WITHOUT sedative. I was dumb.

Unfortunately it was my very own dear mother who realized what a putz I was. She very quickly informed me of the fact that I had only one painkiller prescription and that I would have to take a sedative--what fun.

And so it was that one I came home and two pill bottles rested on top of the counter, almost innocent in their commonality. Of course they contained the things I really wasn't eager to be taking.

"This one is your antibiotic" My mother dearest explained, indicating the bottle with MASSIVE pills inside. I mean pills that were bigger than skittles. It was terrifying.
"You'll need to take these three times a day."


Then of course she picked up the second bottle and told me that it was my painkillers--and that while the Advil was good for me for quick pain (and indeed, the non liqui-gel stuff actually tasted kind of skittlely on the way down. Mmmm) the Tylenol is what I would need for big pain--so I'd best take it at lunch and allow the painkiller to run its course.

I complied.

Getting myself some food I downed the painkiller, it was easier to swallow than the antibiotic or the liqui-gel capsules before it. However I didn't really feel much different.

"Hum" I thought to myself "Perhaps it takes some time to take effect. After all, even the so-called fast acting advil took about ten-fifteen minutes to activate and dull my pain"

And so I waited.

And waited.

I mulled various thoughts in my head as I surfed the internet, waiting for my supposed sedative to take effect. I mean, the pain was dulled but that could have been after-effect from the advil I had taken that morning. Where was my sedation?

I frowned and continued to surf the internet listlessly.

Then, following a request from my father (and upon realizing that I needed to put my dirty dishes in the wash) I made my way to the kitchen.

Or rather, I attempted to.

You see, my legs appeared to be stuck fast to the ground, and in no apparent hurry to move elsewhere. However I being a Black Belt, knew how to force my way past such menial things and heaved myself from the chair.

To say that I did a nose dive isn't entirely accurate. I began to fall into a nose dive, however quick thinking avoided such a fate and I fell rather heavily into my chair with a
"Whuuuuuh" sound.

My father made a comment from the kitchen about my inherent wussiness to sedatives. I ignored him and attempted to stop my head from spinning.

To sum it all up, sedatives are not fun, but they're also not entirely what you expect.

Sedatives dull the senses and make you freaking TIRED. I would have gladly slept for HOURS with that dang thing in my system--so for those of you who have not yet experienced the so-called 'buzz' that these painkillers can give off...that's basically it.

You get really, really tired.

So basically you can get the same feeling from staying up really, really late.

Which I do anyhow.

I think I'll stick to that, sedatives suck.

  • 0

Vezok's Friend
Apr 01 2009 03:26 AM
I remember my wisdom teeth removal. I mean I felt them working around my mouth, cutting open things, removing teeth with some scay whirring things and then let me go.

The joy was to actually develop the swelling this procedure causes afterwards, plus the spitting out blood for three days.

Plus the painkiller treatment. And of course the local sedation of my mouth.

Long story short:
I can imagine what you're going through.
    • 0
Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours to gooo,
I wanna be sedated,
Nothin' to do and no where to go-oh,
I wanna be sedated.

Also, Advil and Tylenol are wussy painkillers. It's the people that take Vicodin and Percocet that get buzzed off it. You would need to seriously OD on what you had to get 'high,' or, just be a wuss like you are. tongue.gif
    • 0
Queen of Noise
Apr 02 2009 06:44 PM
Just get me to the airport; put me on a plane
Hurry, hurry, hurry--before I go insane
I can't control my fingers; I can't control my brain
Oh no no no no no

*single-chord guitar solo*

Robbox, there's no pill I can recommend; the side effects are guaranteed to send you 'round the bend.
    • 0

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