LSO 2012 Team Two Review Topic
Posted Jul 26 2012 - 12:51 PM
Once the epic topic reopens, feel free to switch up your writing order, collaborate, or even drop out of writing if you wish. Have fun!
Posted Jul 26 2012 - 06:17 PM
To Kill Salvation
Let's make it happen.
Edited by dotcom, Jul 26 2012 - 06:17 PM.
Posted Jul 29 2012 - 10:17 PM
The choice of Matoran was interesting. Midak, Ahkmou, Galva, Velika, Balta, Dalu, Onepu, Vican. Midak, now he has been a fun character to write about. Was it ever in offical canon that he was blind?I personally picked Balta just to do that scene with the twin repellers. Why was Velika picked? And it was a little disappointing that the two teams just kind of met up- I would've thought that they would be secret for another few chapters. On your blog, dotcom, I do see what you mean for the climax simply just popping out; such is the pain of not being able to plan
Karzahni was a shocker- I wouldve thought Takadox or someone alive. But bringing him back in that manner was a little weird, but it came out alright.
I'm still up for "To Kill Salvation". V Lexaeus and Kakaru, are you in?
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Posted Jul 29 2012 - 10:50 PM
I picked Velika because Velika is awesome, but then I kind of realized I would never be able to write him correctly, so that was one huge big fat error from my part. He ended up practically never being used. We also kind of made it so that three of the Toa were Voya-Nui ones, and that wasn't too good.
About the two teams meeting up, I agree. I don't know what was up with the last few chapters.
i mean, suddenly ahkmou kind of killed himself and the two teams just met up and then wow they're on the red star but no wait karzahni is alive and also he's using marendar as armor, even though karzahni kind of sucks at fixing things? also krakua disappeared for some reason and his plan was never readdressed.
None of that made any sense to me, honestly. I thought we were doing pretty well up to that point. Here's the thing: You can't spend foureen chapters establishing the characters and the struggling, making it clear that it's going to be a quest-y kind of story, and then kill off one of the main characters, send them all to face the big bad and basically throw everything away in three or so chapters. Where was our character development? Our team bonding? What's out theme here? What was the point?
I unkilled Ahkmou and set the stage for one big confrontation in hopes of us getting something going on, but then suddenly Lariska and Ahkmou were killing Agori? I don't even know what was up with that. The latest chapters there just seemed kind of a big big mess.
But okay, this post so far has been nothing but me hating on what we did at last, so I want to make clear that I didn't hate it or anything, this was still a really fun thing we did. We did pretty good, considering how vague our premise was--which isn't a bad thing. A vague premise allows for more possibilities. At the same time, this meant we had way too many plot threads going on, and for that I'm going to take responsibility. The Agori-escaping thing never really went anywhere constructive, and for some reason I had to go and add three more Toa when PC had established there'd only be five (In my defense, I really wanted to do things with Gavla and Ahkmou).
Nevertheless, we had a good plotline going on. We had a clear antagonist and a goal, we just had to figure out a way to get there.
I just wish we had approached the climax more naturally.
Edited by dotcom, Jul 29 2012 - 10:50 PM.
Posted Jul 29 2012 - 11:56 PM
As for the antagonist itself, however, I do think there was a bit of a fumble when the new Toa team first fought it. This creature's built up as the invincible big bad, but then it's wounded and fleeing before newly trained Toa within seconds, which conflicted badly with the earlier accounts of it destroying armies and then coming back stronger each time. As for Karzahni, I initially was expecting a renegade GB as the programmer, given how it is a construct of theirs, but Karzahni using the Mask of Creation to solve his issues with building was pretty awesome, as was Marendar turning into powered armor. Because, come on, who doesn't like powered armor? I eagerly await the conclusion of that fight.
Other minor quibbles are the killing and rekilling of Ahkmou (really, he commits suicide, comes back, and then is apparently killed by Lariska, or something, without accomplish anything between dying and being retconned into life again) and the use of the golden armor as a plot point (this totally mystified me; it was pried off Tahu but then vanished from the story).
Those aside, however, as I said, I really enjoyed the epic, as the group as a whole handled it quite well, making a harmonious whole overall. I do look forward to the ending.
Posted Jul 30 2012 - 05:30 PM
Edited by dotcom, Jul 30 2012 - 05:30 PM.
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