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Review Topic -- The Destiny of Bionicle

retelling

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204 replies to this topic

#201 Offline fishers64

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Posted Feb 14 2015 - 06:55 PM

I didn't think the civil war portrayal was "farcical". I thought Koronga was not happy about it, and fairly disgusted with the whole thing. The whole chapter read off as serious to me. Maybe that's how I read it or something. 

 

There's some recognition of the pointlessness of it all, but that doesn't make it farcical...

 

Then I turned to Keetongu. "At least now I know you really can heal people!" I grinned widely.

The titan smiled politely -- apparently it wasn't as funny as I'd thought.

Wow, faux pas much? >_<

I thought it was a fourth-wall trope joke. The "healer can't do anything and just watches them die" pattern just got busted, and our narrator feels the need to point it out. :P

 

Unfortunately, that just highlights how bad things are in the MU. :(


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#202 Offline bonesiii

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Posted Mar 17 2015 - 08:30 PM

Author's Comments for Chapter 40: To Honor the Dead

 

Sorry for extreme delay. :( On the plus side, the second-to-last chapter is now halfway written. :lookaround:

 

On the minus side (again)... I kind of think I want to not post another chapter until I do write the whole end now. I've got almost all the details lined up in my head and don't want to either forget, or waste my energy making notes I wouldn't have time or energy to read anyways. Plus it'll take me a while to format the next chapters for posting, and proof them, anyways, so that'll add to the delay.

 

If you don't watch the Epics forum regularly and worry you'll miss when I start up again, look for another update notice in my profile when I do post the next chapter here (hopefully also saying the whole thing's written by that point :)).

 

As for how long that'll take, no idea at this point. Work situation has intensified a lot, but part of it has gotten less burdensome and time consuming, so not sure how much free time that'll open up. I may change my mind and post another chapter sooner... but I doubt it. Hopefully I'll be on a roll and get the end written in one sitting... but unfortunately I doubt that too. :P We'll see.

 

Note:

These images [the key and the knob-like device it unlocks] are of a different location. My use of it for reaching the Pit is non-canon; most likely Botar would be needed to go in and out of the Pit officially. Also, my implication that the Order invented this device is unconfirmed though possible.

 

Note:

Several details of events in this chapter are non-canon. We know, for example, that Makuta loosed Rahi in the Archives Massacre, but not the specific powers he used. Likewise, most of the details of this Mask of Life scene [at the end of the chapter] are unknown.

 

Note:

To repeat just for clarity's sake, we don't know the mask this Toa [the one in Jovan's team who died to heal Mata Nui] normally wore.

 

 

 

Replies to reviews:

 

Glad people like the Kapura thing. I liked that moment a lot too, but wasn't sure what to expect from readers, mainly because it's now my third take on it across my various fanfics. :P Maybe now I need to make a fourth explanation for the Multiverse somehow LOL (except there's no Kapura there so yeah). And it was another of those things I didn't plan when I first started writing this story or anything, just came up in the moment. Love how writing such stories can bring moments like that out. ^_^


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#203 Offline Toa Chuck

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Posted Mar 18 2015 - 01:59 PM

I've been following this since chapter 7 was released, and i must say that i have immensly enjoyed your retelling of the bionicle story. It makes great sense out of many obscure plot points, a great main character, and is overall very enjoyable.
However, i feel it is my duty to point out a somewhat glaring canonical error. In swamp of secrets, when takanuva watches the toa mata's initial training, there is a scene when hydraxon uses spinax on the toa. He then comments that spinax will be accompanying him on his next assignment(the pit). In your story, hydraxon does not get spinax till much later.
Other than that, a great read. Keep it up!

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Makuta, Master of Shadows

Chuck's Very Dead Comic Series

:smilehafu: This is my signature. Exciting, huh?  :ruru:


#204 Offline Takuta-Nui

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Posted Mar 22 2015 - 03:57 PM

I didn't think the civil war portrayal was "farcical". I thought Koronga was not happy about it, and fairly disgusted with the whole thing. The whole chapter read off as serious to me. Maybe that's how I read it or something. 

 

There's some recognition of the pointlessness of it all, but that doesn't make it farcical...

 

Then I turned to Keetongu. "At least now I know you really can heal people!" I grinned widely.

The titan smiled politely -- apparently it wasn't as funny as I'd thought.

Wow, faux pas much? >_<

I thought it was a fourth-wall trope joke. The "healer can't do anything and just watches them die" pattern just got busted, and our narrator feels the need to point it out. :P

 

Unfortunately, that just highlights how bad things are in the MU. :(

I didn't mean farcical in the way that it was not serious at all. Maybe that was the wrong term to use, but my expanded interpretation is that the narrator intended to portray this as a tragic consequence that never needed to happen. It was implied that many other Matoran also felt the same way and yet were obliged to participate in the war, which led to the odd contrast between furious clashes and then resting up at home for the next clash. Of course it got worse as time went on due to destruction and more rule violations, so that did make the conflict veer toward actual seriousness. I hope that makes sense now.

 

The trope joke... it can be both, I think. :)

 

Chapter 40 - Glad to have another update! No worries that there will be a semi-hiatus. Maybe I'm disappointed only because it means the next Paracosmos episode is even further off, but I imagine you could start posting it once you've finished formatting this story so all you need to do is actually post the chapters. I believe you said the next episode is more or less already written?

 

This chapter covered a few pivotal moments. I don't have much to comment only because you wrote them very well. Finally Koronga realizes Teridax is a master manipulator, plus we see Jovan's sacrifice. I never actually thought about whether his team had figured out more about the MU due to their journey.

 

I predict Hagahu will live to the days when the Mata Nui island forms, and begins to pass on Red Star messages to the Matoran there based on Koronga's instructions. Or they're directed at Koronga because he hasn't been able to figure out a way to communicate back to Hagahu by then, and Koronga is able to help the Toa Mata while they're on the island.


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APlayofLight_zps1888c63b.jpeg

 

Part One of the Chrysalis Saga

By Takuta-Nui


#205 Offline fishers64

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Posted Mar 22 2015 - 11:10 PM

I'm not nail-biting too hard over the wait. While I do want to read the conclusion of yonder story - finish :P - I have plenty of distractions to keep me very busy. 

I didn't mean farcical in the way that it was not serious at all. Maybe that was the wrong term to use, but my expanded interpretation is that the narrator intended to portray this as a tragic consequence that never needed to happen.

I agree with this, but there is little way I can view this in a positive light. It was, indeed, a tragic consequence that did not need to happen. 

 

At least, from the narrator's perspective. Actually, now that I think of it, that is a headscratcher - it is a part of my belief system that there are no "tragic consequences that never needed to happen" in the real world :lookaround: (Let's skip that controversial discussion, shall we?) - but whether it can exist in Bionicle is something that I had not previously considered (and probably foolishly assumed to be no).

 

However, I think reading on may answer that question. "Does the Destiny of Bionicle include pointlessly negative outcomes?" (pun not intended :lol:

 

Theory: No. 

 

Chapter 40: 

 

This chapter was suitably depressing. At least for this one, I know the somber atmosphere was intentional. 

 

Also I am pleased to see the Red Star piloting idea. :ziplip:


Edited by fishers64, Mar 22 2015 - 11:11 PM.

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