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Tulang the Bone Hunter


Xeo

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Hey guys, I wrote a short story a while ago. I am posting the intro of it to see what people think of it. So, let me know!

 

The story is titled 'Tulang the Bone Hunter' and takes place is a fantasy world I created.

 

     If there was one thing a Bone Hunter knew more than killing, it was waiting. He would wait for days, weeks even, just to get the perfect shot. He would track his prey. Learn their patterns and watch their routines. Then, he would wait. On this particular hunt he had been waiting for two days. Not moving from his spot. Bugs and lizards crawled over him. Birds perched on his shoulder and raised arm, tearing into his skin. Still, he waited. Not saying a word. Not moving or flinching. He was a living statue. After two days the jungle had claimed him.

Mud and dirt buried him past his shins. Vines grew around his body. It wouldn't be long until his entire body was lost.

     Then, his target approached. The Bone Hunter's eyes narrowed as he watched. His prey walked into his line of sight. Whistling. Cheerful. Completely oblivious his death was just seconds away. As the hunter's victim glanced in his direction he pulled back on the arrow he had been holding for two days, and fired.

 

~Xeo~

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I enjoyed how it was written. You have vivid description that immediately give me a feel of who this person is and what they do.

 

I am a little confused, however, as to if this is meant to be BIONICLE fanfiction, or as you say, your own fantasy world. I'm pretty sure "Bone Hunter" is a LEGO trademarked name.

 

And, lastly, it's too short for me to know if I'd commit to a full story. There's nothing about Tulang that sets him apart from any other Bone Hunter, like Fero, in BIONICLE. I could imagine this being something any generic Hunter would do.

"You are an absolute in these uncertain times. Your past is forgotten, and your
future is an empty book. You must find your own destiny, my brave adventurer.
"
-- Turaga Nokama

nichijou2.jpg

Click here to visit my library!

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It isn't a BIONICLE Fan Fiction. And, I double checked. Bone Hunter isn't a trademarked term, so I am ok, there. I will post more than soon, so you can get more of a feel. Glad you liked the first little bit at least.

~Xeo~

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