Hello everyone. If you find my blog entertaining and enjoyable, then I apologize for the lack of updates.

Lots of stuff has been happening in my life that I had kept to myself and only a select few friends. The fact is I have a rough life that I have thankfully left behind in the year 2011. I've been in a lot of mental pain for a long time. First off as silly as it may seem, I was really hurt when toaoflife left me for another boy/man. I felt betrayed, and I still feel as though I may never find another potential soul mate. So the depression ate at me like a fire devouring a forest. It still hurts to this day.

Next. This was probably the worst college semester of my life. I had four extremely nerve wracking classes. Sociology, World History, English 113, and World Religion. I actually enjoyed World Religion though. However these classes required tons of papers and projects. Which was tiring and stressful and felt like there was no end in site.

At the risk of getting in trouble. I don't like the new BZP at all. It's hard to keep up with people, and I feel as though many of my past friends are trying to avoid me or don't wish to be friends anymore. I feel alone a lot. This has caused a decline in my activity on the site, and I've always felt great sorrow when people have a lack of interest in my blogs, or what I have to say. There isn't even much to do in the trading forum. However I've been asked to help in some BZP projects, which warms my heart up a bit.

Finally. The straw that broke the Camels back, was that after caring for him for several months. My 14yr old dog Rocky passed away from illness. Rocky was more that half my age. It felt like loosing a brother, and I felt like all the love and care I gave him for the past year had been all for nothing. I was there the whole way. Seeing his health and life deteriorate, having to carry him around when he lost the energy to stand, feeding him when he couldn't get up. But I'd do it forever if that meant keeping him comfortable and healthy. I had to bury him with the help of my father the day he died. I hope to never feel this pain for a good long while. Even though I know this will happen again in the future. This pain is as certain and inevitable as the event that has caused it. Death.

After all this pain and mental stress. My family saw that my health was at risk, and took me to a doctor. It was here that I was prescribed anti depressants. I felt so helpless and embarrassed that I had to resort to medication for all this pain. I felt like I had failed myself. To keep a strong will against all these horrid events.

After a few weeks I felt better, and eventually all the things causing the pain either subsided or I've comes to terms with. Sara is gone. This ###### on Earth semester is over. I still have a few friends on BZP, and Rocky is no longer suffering. We'll meet again one day.

With this new year comes new hopes and new beginnings. I'm starting a new semester with less stressful classes. I'm looking at the better things in life than the bad. My personal Faith feels rejuvenated, and I've reignited a long lost friendship with an old friend. Things are looking up for now.

There are other things I'd like to discuss, but this is enough to read for now.

Thanks for reading, Raptor.