Because my technical ponderings of the intricacies of maintaining a server are so obscure, I thought I'd try a different method to describe this often convoluted process. Plus, it gives me a chance to do some pretentious creative writing, which is always fun. So here's an intro and description of recent server adjustments as told in Ye Olde Binkyisms. BTW, I didn't invent "Lord Survurlode" but he's a great villain... I'm sure we'll see more of him in stories as time goes on.

Welcome to The Zone!

In 2001, a place was born, a bare landscape where the fertile soil lay in wait for the seeds of creativity. This place was known as The Bionicle. Into this land, many small villages sprang up - some small, others growing wildly and then slowly fading. But a few villages grew deep roots and prospered. Some, close together, joined and became greater than the sum of their parts. Soon others joined, and a year after The Bionicle sprang from the void, a vast yet still growing fortress towered, dominating the entire landscape.

This fortress was The Zone. It contained The Power, which must always be guarded and nurtured.

Thousands of people flocked to The Zone. Their stories are countless, their lives and loves and intrigues spelled out in public squares and back rooms, in their creations and their artwork adorning the walls, in their florid prose and poetry filling vast libraries. Their work transformed a bare stone foundation into a vivid, sprawling, colorful home.

Some visited and moved on, others took up residence and swore great fealty to this realm. A few grew disenchanted and left, or took up arms and defied the Guardians of The Zone, but all such were expelled by the Keepers of the Power.

These Keepers nourished The Zone, protecting it from threats both inside and out. At first they numbered three equals: King Bionicle, Dimensioneer, and Bink the Meister. Their ranks grew with Ninjo, and further still with trusted associates including Black the Sixth, Kaiapu, and The Fuss. In time, several dozens of trusted acolytes were recruited to help maintain The Power. They became the Guardians.

During most times, the gentle murmur of commerce and discussion dominated The Zone, broken mostly by new and exciting things teased from The Bionicle. Once in a great while, small wars with its neighbors marred The Zone's tranquility, and one or two Great Wars in the deep past are still remembered in whispered words and hushed tones.

Of late, The Zone's own success has become a burden. It has outgrown the land available. Only the tireless machinations of the Meister Bink have kept the place livable. Each day, The Zone grows just a little bigger, with more and more people jostling to be heard. The Zone is surrounded by an invisible wall, The Xeon, which is the absolute physical boundary of The Zone. Every day, hordes of visitors and Zoners press up against this wall, harder and harder, until it sometimes stretches so far that everything goes black for a while.

Not all peril comes from within.

At unpredictable times, The Zone is assailed by a menace so dark and threatening that nobody has ever truly seen its face. It rides into The Zone on a fiery winged stallion, sword blazing, and slices mercilessly into The Xeon, shredding it for minutes or hours at a time.

Sometimes, this dark lord visits for a moment only, then leaves again before great harm is done. At other times, he seems destined to attack and attack for no reason whatsoever. This entity has become the chief enemy of The Zone.

He is Lord Survurlode, bringer of darkness.

But fear not, The Zone is not defenseless! Although shy, Bink the Meister has often done battle with this fearsome foe, and many times has emerged victorious. His battles are epic yet unseen for the most part.

One day, perhaps he will venture forth from his lair deep in The Xeon and regale you with his tales of mighty combat against this most heinous foe.

What, you say? A story, now?

Perhaps, my friends. A short one.

Lean back, then, and listen unto how your Bink fought the evil Survurlode.

It was a dark and stormy night. Yea, even the heavens poured mightily against The Xeon, whose intricacies lay exposed to Bink's probing eyes. Paths of great sorcery wound through the Xeon, unseen by any others, hidden spells weaving in and around the fabric of The Xeon. They flickered and thumped like the heartbeat of a thing alive.

It was actually kind of creepy.

Anyway. The guts of The Xeon lay in front of Bink as he examined its health. Rather than made of a single material, The Xeon is cunningly fashioned from many different parts, all fitting together without seams. Some parts were more vulnerable to stress than others. The weakest link, Sea Quell, was often a target of Lord Survurlode's predation. However, it was the brain of The Zone - without it, there would be nothing in this vast fortress. And like a brain, it thought many different thoughts at once... sometimes so many that it could handle no more, and it drew all other parts of The Xeon to a halt.

Bink pondered on Sea Quell. Vital as it was, it often usurped all that The Xeon could give, depriving other parts of The Xeon from having enough power to go on. How to cure this?

Hidden deep underneath The Xeon, Bink knew there was a treasure cache that controlled Sea Quell. Tug one end, and Sea Quell spasmed a particular way. Tug another, and it burped most disgustingly. But when the treasure cache was set just right, Sea Quell happilly hummed along, bothering no one.

Many long nights had Bink slaved over repositioning parts of Sea Quell's cache - a tiny nudge here, reposition there. And the effects were visible over time: at one point, only about 300 villagers could attend open square meetings at any time. With tweaks, Bink managed to open up The Xeon and Sea Quell to let twice that many in.

But it wasn't enough.

Although Sea Quell had been strengthened by Bink's mighty magic, it was not immune to attacks by Lord Survurlode. Another part of The Xeon must be having problems as well, he reasoned.

So he watched. And during or after an attack by the dastardly dark lord, Bink noticed that another component of The Xeon was going into convulsions. These were completely separate from Sea Quell.

The Apache daemon was unhappy.

Bottled up, the daemon was notoriously cranky. When annoyed, it grudgingly spit out what the villagers needed, but in dribs and drabs, despite how politely they asked. And ask they did - lined up around the corner, waiting patiently for their turn to be served a tasty page. It seemed that at times, the daemon became so cranky it behaved like Ouroborous, swallowing its own tail in a self-contained dance of spite. Only time could break it loose.

Time, or Bink's powerful magical sword.

When he noticed the selfish actions of the Apache daemon, Bink slew it without pity. As with all parts of The Xeon, its death was only temporary. Within moments, the daemon's sibling sprang to life, happily serving the villagers from its trove of pages hidden in its private cache.

But Bink knew that, like Sea Quell, the Apache daemon had its own hidden treasure that controlled it. Thinking that maybe tugging here or there might help, Bink snuck in while the daemon was sleepy, and tweaked the treasure cache just a bit. The daemon was used to having its own way for up to an hour at a time; Bink thought this far too generous, and slid the knot on the rope up until the daemon only had 5 minutes before it would be forced to abandon a hopeless request.

It might not prevent attacks by Lord Survurlode, but maybe, just perhaps, it would shorten the length of the attacks.

As with all things, only time shall tell whether Bink was victorious in this scuffle with the dark lord. Battles are won and lost, but the war goes on.