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Ever have that feeling when...

fishers64

Entry posted by fishers64

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...you feel like you should be angry, but you are NOT?

 

...or when you feel that you should be ashamed of yourself, but you can't really be?

 

...or when you feel like you should be sad, but you're laughing and staring in morbid fascination instead?

 

I feel that this is the worst feeling in the known universe. Actually feeling anger, shame, or sadness can be dealt with, that's something get over-able.

 

But when you see what you think or what you did caused others to have misconceptionitis enforced by hurt, and then you want to blame yourself for what happened, because you did it, but can't. You still feel that you're right, and that you've learned from your mistakes, if you made any, and that people shouldn't take it so bad.

 

So you feel numb, isolated, and very much alone.

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ALVIS

Nope, never. I constantly watch my peers struggle and fail and despair. And while I'm not always blatant about it, I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. XD

 

Don't get me wrong. I get angry and worked up and sad and disgusted about plenty of things, most of them political. Feeling sorry for other people, though... it takes a lot to get that out of me. You'd have to really be struggling.

 

As for shame, well... I think we all have those memories that keep us lying awake some nights, correct?

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fishers64

Nope, never. I constantly watch my peers struggle and fail and despair. And while I'm not always blatant about it, I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. XD

Ye cruel and heartless person! XP

 

Feeling sorry for other people, though... it takes a lot to get that out of me. You'd have to really be struggling.

This isn't as much that as people misinterpreting what you said to their hurt. It's clear that your comments (in the hypothetical scenario) were intended to help and were actually kind, but that you unwittingly opened a wound the other person which is keeping your kind words from having their intended effect.

 

So you want to blame yourself for opening the wound, but the feeling never fully gets there, because you know you were trying to do right.

 

Of course, if you never tried to correct someone who was wrong but instead laughed in their faces for their moronic stupidity of not finding the truth that you obviously know and is evident to all people with a brain, you wouldn't have this problem. :P (You would have a very different problem! :lol:)

 

But this feeling can actually come from this:

People: >:(

Me: Why are you angry?

People: *explain*

Me: That's not really something worth getting angry over. :shrugs: *launches into explanation of why*

People: :burnmad: *insert long string of insults and colorful language here*

Me: *laughs* I'm sorry, I should not laugh...*insert feeling here* *tries to concede to the other side a bit/explain my perspective to stop people from hating me*

People: *still mad*

Me: *still laughing* *makes bad jokes to myself about those people all day* *still has lingering feeling, made worse by the jokes*

 

If those bad jokes actually come out of my mouth, that's when the real damage happens.

 

As for shame, well... I think we all have those memories that keep us lying awake some nights, correct?

Don't look at me, I never have any of these. Past is dead; keep the good stuff and valuable information/life lessons, let the bad stuff go. Saves on overcrowding. :P

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