Far be it from me to be an expert on relationships, but if this person has anxiety and feels lonely, then they probably aren't in a position where they should be dating in general (also I think those feelings of hers should be considered first instead of guilt 'cause that's also pretty selfish, but I digress, and sorry for being blunt).

That said, I have no idea of the specifics of any of this, so any advice I give is potentially wrong on a fundamental level, results may vary, I will absolve myself of any guilt for those foolish enough to listen to me, etc.

Anyway, I never really understood people with crushes (myself included). Loads of unneeded drama, weeks or months of debating on whether to act, he said she said, blah blah blah. Then by the end of it, depending on the person, they can move to the next one fairly quickly.

I think it's just easier to act when the attraction first starts, ask of they want to go on a date and just get the answer from the start. If it's a no, it's a no. Big whoop. If your biggest problem is not having a date this weekend, I'd say you live a pretty blessed life. (Not meaning you specifically, but just saying so in general).

Far be it from me to be an expert on relationships, but if this person has anxiety and feels lonely, then they probably aren't in a position where they should be dating in general (also I think those feelings of hers should be considered first instead of guilt 'cause that's also pretty selfish, but I digress, and sorry for being blunt).

 

 

That said, I have no idea of the specifics of any of this, so any advice I give is potentially wrong on a fundamental level, results may vary, I will absolve myself of any guilt for those foolish enough to listen to me, etc.

 

 

Anyway, I never really understood people with crushes (myself included). Loads of unneeded drama, weeks or months of debating on whether to act, he said she said, blah blah blah. Then by the end of it, depending on the person, they can move to the next one fairly quickly.

 

 

I think it's just easier to act when the attraction first starts, ask of they want to go on a date and just get the answer from the start. If it's a no, it's a no. Big whoop. If your biggest problem is not having a date this weekend, I'd say you live a pretty blessed life. (Not meaning you specifically, but just saying so in general).

I'm absolutely not worried about not having a date. I confessed my feelings knowing that, in all likelihood, she would say no. My concern is that she ISN'T in a situation where she's fit to be dating, but she wants to be, and so my confession just stressed her out more. It was stupid and shortsighted of me, but then again, I'm terrible at reading emotions even in situations where I'm not personally involved.

As for acting on your feelings when you first have them, that's not as practical as you make it seem. I first had feelings for her when we met, because I was just an awkward nobody on the train with her, she was a fairly popular internet voice actress, and she seemed genuinely interested in who I was anyway. But she didn't really know me and I didn't really know her and by the time we really got to know each other we were miles apart for one reason or another. Even now that we're back in the same country and the same state, there's no real easy way to visit her and our lives are moving in different directions, to the point where I don't know when we might see each other in person next. Again, I was impatient. If I had waited for a situation where she wasn't so far away from most of her friends I would've still been rejected, but at the very least it might not be so hard on her.

I know saying this won't make things better, but I've already ruined three friendships by being that honest as well. So I have an idea of how you're feeling, and I'm here for ya, along with everyone else on this awesomesauce site.