I wrote a comedy for the first time in SEVEN YEARS. This is not all of it, but if you want to read the whole thing click the link. I just wrote it because IT HAD TO EXIST after me and Portalfig started wishing for one to come into existence.

THE TOA INIKA: THE STORY NOBODY (BUT THEM) SAW

 

All of the newly-minted Toa Inika had a headache. 'Least, it felt like it. Ever so recently, they had been matoran. But then were struck by lightning, which somehow was from the Red Star. Being struck by lightning also tends to hurt quite a bit! It was kind of rude of the Red Star if we're going to be honest about it: these Matoran had just arrived from a long journey, and then they were disrespectfully struck by the Red Star's lightning! Yet that was not the worst part of it all, neither were the headaches that bad. You see, we're in a nightmare here. Well, it's real, but at least it feels like it's out of a nightmare! Don't judge me.

 

Jaller's head felt like it had gone on an adventure through Metru Nui's industrial districts on the worst days possible. It just simply wouldn't stop pounding. Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound. Great British Pound. It pounded so bad it almost felt as if it were creating currency inside his head. Obviously, that's illegal, but that was not the worst of Jaller's issues. It was the second worst, because he could be arrested for it. His mind felt like it had an intruder within it. There were some thoughts that felt as if they were not his own. But surely that wasn't possible? There was nobody but the other newly-minted Toa Inika around. He briefly considered eating them as they had been minted, but he quickly realised it wasn't that kind of mint. Of course, he soon realised where the thoughts were coming from.

 

Hey Jallah, is that yer name?I guess so, it says so here in your memahry. Says ye were simply Jala once too, but had to stop for out of univehse reasons. I know why! Lawsuit probably. Do you want anothah lawsuit? I can get you into anothah by calling yah Jala! It is yah fate! I know this, for I am thah KAHNOHI CAHLIX, MASK OF FATE! I CAN SEE THAH FUTURE!

 

Jaller was very taken aback by this. This appeared to have been his MASK talking to him via projecting its own thoughts into his mind. Surely he was going crazy? Wait, no. He wasn't. The Calix squelched around on his face, as if to try to and move itself to get a better view of Jaller's body. His mask had just tried to move. He really had to ask to ask the other Toa if their masks were alive.

 

So Jallah, which I know isn't yah real name, it seems you like that Hahli Toa...

 

Please don't rummage through my mind, thanks.

 

"Hahli, Hewkii, Kongu, Matoro, Nuparu, are you all okay? I have a confession to make: my mask is alive and talking to me in my head. Is this happening to anyone else or am I insane?"

 

The other Toa Inika nodded slowly and turned to each other, making eye contact uncomfortable several times as they slowly realised that what Jaller said was true: their masks were in fact alive. And they had personalities of their own. Rather obnoxious personalities, if I so say myself. Especially the Sanok. Hewkii got up to tell everyone about it, even though nobody wanted to know about it.

 

"Jaller, I have a problem."

 

"What is it?"

 

"My mask won't stop yelling obscenities at me."

Source: The Toa Inika: The Story Nobody Saw