Wait, Sumiki's dad told me Samantha was searching for a decomposing laptop that sports a five o' clock shadow...

WHERE IS SAMANTHA, YOU MONSTER?!

I think you've got the wrong guy--my laptop crashed closer to 8 o'clock.

If I hear anything I'll pass the information along.

...I'm on to you...

There's a game afoot, Watkins.

What exactly is the error it throws out when it's crashing? Is it a bluescreen, or does the thing just hang?

It's a blue screen, usually "CRITICAL_PROCESS_DIED".  I've looked around and, assuming I'm understanding, the problem is a faulty driver--I've identified which one, I just haven't been able to find a way to fix it.  Tried searching for updates, didn't find any; downloaded a driver pack from the Dell website, nothing.

It's Dell - that explains everything. 

Does that explanation come with a solution?

You need to install the drivers from the Dell website - downloading isn't good enough.

And once you install those drivers, you can download the karts so they can go to the Luigi Circuit.

That is, if the drivers don't fail to install for some reason.