Today I had a thought, which are both rare and random, often inflicting great pain and at the same time a sense of worthiness as I feel "Wow, its like I just saw Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Yeti/Manbearpig." I had this thought while using my cat as an air guitar. You see, he is quite corpulent, which basically means that if he were any fatter I could use him for weight training and increase my muscle mass to look like Arnold Swarzeneggar, although at this point looking like him is not an accomplishment given his governator status.

Nevertheless, for some reason his furry cat-belly was just so alluring, begging to be petted, so I pet my fuzzy little bundle of annoying and as I decided to use his belly as an air guitar, wildly thrashing my head like I was having some sort of cat-allergy induced seizure, I was suddenly reminded why I am glad I don't have a robot following me around with a camera in his cold steel claws to take pictures of me all the time as a pint size paparazzi, because I was indeed planning to do that for my latest ploy to get cheap Bionicle figures, but unfortunately a key component to this plan was not having pictures of myself looking retarded.

As I went about my day picturing what life would be like if instead of using paper bags, or plastic bags, or any bags, I would just have a midget butler named Chives to carry around all my purchases and laughing at all the plebians who have to use their own arms like total suckers, I decided to start building something with my LEGO brand Bionicle brand building blocks, because in saying this I decided I wanted to be both politically correct buy refering to them in their proper terminology, while also being hypocritical in not calling a midget a 'little person', since a) I find little person to be too ambiguous- midgets and dwarves are not the same, I should know, my distant cousin being a dwarf, and B) i find having to be specified as shorter than the average person being more demeaning than the word midget. Simply put I decided to make a MoC.

The above paragraph was in fact only two sentences.

The above paragraph was technically not a paragraph, being only one sentence, nor were the 2 sentences before it technically paragraphs. Nevertheless, as I went about building, I needed an extra length double socket, such as the Piraka thighs, which immediately drove my heart right off a cliff into fear and paranoia in a flaming H2 Hummer down into a valley of spikes and cannibals. And pirahnas. See, I hate having to build with those pieces, as they break faster than an old man's... well everything really. I was just hoping I wouldn't wind up building in black, because as you can see, I build with a rich variety of colors, like plastic Fruity Pebbles.

Sure enough I wound up building in black and bley, and needing an extra long black double socket, I decided to rip Nocturn's arm off, because I don't negotiate with my figures, I'll go to extreme measures to get what I want from them. Yes I do threaten them. Surely enough, after a little while I hear a crack and hope that it was just the sound of my ankle breaking instead, since thats happened before and I got a trimester off of gym, and since I hate gym more than I hate having my ankle broken, it was for the best.

Alas, my double socket cracked, and then snapped right off. I had a small funeral for it, burying it in some guy's yard. He got very angry at me for it but when I told him it was for a Bionicle piece he was cool with it and got me some sandwiches and scented candles.

Nocturn is recovering nicely, since it was his Polyp launcher arm, and those launchers suck anyway. In the mean time he'll still be a freak, since he still has one arm too many.

-DD, hoping that the double socket is in a better place, I know that the sandwiches aren't.