This entry is going to be shorter than the last three since I'm feeling quite tired. See, in my job I have to undertake such strenuous activities as giving out juice and opening doors. This may seem simple and effortless, but the juice is actually acid, and I have to carry it in my hands, and make the cups for out of leather, which I much make, while holding the juice, out of cow skin, and the doors that I must open are 60 feet tall, with spikes yet completely smooth exteriors lacking any form o
Today was the beginning of my second weekend of work at the Castle of the Ancient Armies, otherwise known as either a nursing home, or a prison for the saggy and wrinkled. I didn't see the queen of the old people today since she doesn't come in on weekends, meaning I was free to do as I pleased. The awesomeness of having no rules, which under normal circumstances would be able to power a small clown-car from here (New York) to China, including being so concentrated so as to be used as jet fuel t
Today I had a thought, which are both rare and random, often inflicting great pain and at the same time a sense of worthiness as I feel "Wow, its like I just saw Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Yeti/Manbearpig." I had this thought while using my cat as an air guitar. You see, he is quite corpulent, which basically means that if he were any fatter I could use him for weight training and increase my muscle mass to look like Arnold Swarzeneggar, although at this point looking like him is not an accomplishment gi
Since the powers that be have deemed me unworthy of mail like any other American should have (my mailbox is locked shut somehow, as if a wee gnome welded it shut and has made its home in it), I had to go down to the post office to pick up my mail, which has accumulated over the days of my thinking 'Wow it is certainly odd that I haven't gotten mail for a week'. After a long wait in line (I now have a beard and a need glasses because of it), and having to deal with getting my mail from what I thi
