The Fear Of Love
Entry posted by Arch-Angel
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Many of you toss around the word. Whether discribing something you cherish, a family member, or a member of the opposite gender(or same gender, if thats how you roll).
On my end, Love is something to avoid.
I keep thinking that I'm going to repeat History.
And do what my father has done.
Omi is right, of course. We are still at too young an age, even to know what true love is. Its not lust, or liking them because they're cute or attractive, or just because they give you everything you want.
Its not what you want, its what you need.
"The One" is an expression used by both boys and girls, men and women, who are trying to find a soul mate that interlocks with them perfectly and without a hitch.
When you find her/him, tell me how it feels, but I have a fear of love.
I like the fact of being in a relationship. They make me feel more secure, but so fragile at the same time. Doing something wrong to mess it up, talk to a girl causally and rumors fly around that I'm cheating. Its amazingly stupid how people will judge on spot.
My last relationship last 2-3 weeks. It was almost broken from the beginning, my girlfriend and her friend were at war with each other. Needless to say, her "friend" spread a rumor saying that she was cheating on me. She informed me of the rumor once it spread around her grade(7th) and in two days, my grade (9th). Needless to say, we broke up anyway. I wasn't broken up about at all. I felt like a weight was lifted off the two ton load on my back, easing the pressure.
But what I truly feel afraid of is... breaking the hearts of my family. If I have kids, a wife, and a church, I feel as if I'll repeat everything that happened to my dad. I don't want that.
I vowed not to get married, for fear of hurting my future wife and kids.
That is my fear. You can go out, meet a girl/boy, anything. Just, for heart's sake, make sure its true.
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