This is just some stuff I came up with while IMing with some people; it is by no means complete.

1. When you're on a team, make sure there is no communication except in an emergency; even then you risk being called a noob.
2. Defy all orders and make up your own. In fact, it's always advised to do the opposite of what you're told.
3. Halo is best played when you're charging heedlessly into unseen enemy territory, knowing fully well a sniper is waiting. Everyone will love you for it.
4. Never read the fine print. It's just there to confuse you and take away fun.
5. Violence isn't the answer... at least, I think that's what LEGO said.
6. Non-violent LEGO pieces are painful unto the feet. So be sure to lay those mines to stop burglars.
7. If something is "as seen on TV," doesn't that mean it's only viewable through a screen/monitor/whatever?
8. Don't say, "sick and tired." If you are sick, it only stands to reason that you are also tired.
9. ABC killed the dinosaurs... it was their show after all.
10. Batman always wins. Always.
11. Don't make up any lessons. They're probably all lies anyway.
12. uSE CORrect cApitalization.
13. Never say "see previous." That just means you're lazy.
14. See previous.
15. Retrospective warnings are as stupid as they sound. "Watch your head" is not useful after it's hit something.
16. Why do people say, "drive safely"?
17. Words with multiple meanings are about as confusing as synonyms are baffling.
18. If thinking hurts, it's not for you. You probably don't do it enough anyway.
19. Ask politely. Politely's not busy... and never seems to be around when needed.
20. Why is it that you scratch your chin and people think you're smart, but if you scratch the top of your head, they think you're dumb... or have lice?
21. Failure is not an option. Why would anyone choose failure anyway?

©1984-2007 Toaraga EAM