It's a wonderful thing.

Whether it's in regards to something as small as a difference in tastes or desires or as large as religious or political beliefs, tolerating people who disagree with you or whom you disagree with is really the simplest way to keep things peaceful and, hopefully, plesant. There's no reason a long, potentially hurtful, and in the grand scheme of things probably unnecessary argument should occur if it can be prevented just by tolerating what it is you disagree with, you know?

What it comes down to is understanding. Try to see where the person is coming from. It's probably not unreasonable, though in many situations it may be irrational – just how one feels about something without really knowing why, and that's fine. Everyone will have their opinions on things, and it's just so much better for everyone if people can accept that fact rather than trying to change those opinions to their own.

Of course, if you feel that you really have to object to something, or disagree with it strongly, you're absolutely free to take it up with someone! But for goodness's sake, be polite, and be reasonable. Being outright rude won't get you anywhere, but having a nice, level-headed dicussion about things just might solve the problem without getting anyone angry at anyone else.

Reciprocally, what my much-beloved history teacher says is quite true: one of the best things to have in life is a thick skin. Don't get angry or insulted as a result of something someone says to you – let it bounce off before you respond. Think before you say something. As Tufi has said, wait before you click "Add Reply", and think about what you're posting and how it sounds. I know from experience that it solves so many problems if you let yourself calm down before replying to something. Sometimes I think it's best just not to reply, to let something drop or go unmarked instead of making a big deal out of it.

So really, please be tolerant, won't you? It can be anywhere from respecting someone else's views to preventing a conversation from getting heated to biting your tongue instead of criticizing something that you might not like, but someone else does. Which all really come down to the same thing...

And for the record, I've been musing over this entry for a long time. It wasn't brought on by any one event, recent or past, it's not directed at anyone in particular, and it's certainly not limited to BZP. We can all learn from it. I can. There are things in here that I might not have done in the past, but that I want to in the future. At least think about it, won't you?

As dear Sméag put it, isn't it so much nicer to get along, respectfully even if we disagree, rather than to bicker and fight all the time?

~ ToM