BREAKING NEWS FROM THE FRONTAL LOBE:

The contest from Monday is still open, peoples! You could win fabulous* prizes!

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Well, I have nothing to do right now, so I'm going to attempt more science, like the last few posts. Science is good. But what is it, you say? Well, thanks to our hours of research, we here at Tums' Pre-Frontal Cortex are willing to educate the oblivious in the wonderful ways of Science.

Science is what fuels our cars, lights our homes, powers our toasters, and keeps the Earth in orbit. Science is something that can only be understood by the person who discovers it, so if they die, everyone will forget about their discovery, unless they rediscover it later. This might seem stupid, but everyone else agrees with the discoverer because science cannot ever be wrong! Using state-of-the-art wischometers, we can measure the content of science in an object, and detect amounts of science hidden from the naked eye in every day life. We hope soon to strike the motherload, or largest containment, of science, not only educating the world of incomprehensible knowledge, but more importantly getting us unlimitedly famous and rich, which won't really help us in the brain, but we can tell Tums how to spend it all. So teaching the world what their brains can not truly process will get us so we don't even have to... er... lift a nerve.

Today’s science is about gravity. Gravity is what makes pulls people down to the earth. This is the force which keeps us from floating happily in the sky. The cause of this, is because the sky is antisocial, and the ground would get lonely if we all went up instead. Gravity is what also makes us or other objects fall, which is the cause of all our pains, since without gravity, we wouldn't trip, and stuff wouldn't fall on top of us. This proves gravity is sadistic, and should be abolished once someone discovers the Theory of Abolition.

Any questions?

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*I emphasize "could."