Because I don't care.
I don't care whether I win or lose.
I don't care if I'm successful in life.
I don't care about people.
I don't care about the world.
I don't care about my future.
I don't care about my past.
I don't care about now.
I can go on with things I don't care about.
But I won't.
Because caring is a two way street.
The world doesn't care about me.
People don't care about me.
And I don't blame them.
Why would you care for something that doesn't care for you?
I blame myself for this.
I created this uncaringness.
And I have nothing to offer.
I am not skilled at anything.
Nor will I be.
I cannot see myself in 10 years.
Or 5.
Or 2.
Or 1.
I can't see myself doing anything.
Or being with anyone.
I can't see myself wanting to do anything.
Or be with anyone.
I don't care for life anymore.
But I do care about death.
It is not an option.
It is never the right path to take on free will.
It never should be.
So the torturous boredom and uncaringness continues.
And there's nothing I can do about it.
I'll face it alone.
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