I've been feeling for a while now that I'm out of sync.

Not just physically, but socially. I have a little group of girls to hang with, but I don't feel as if I'm really part of them- just an onlooker, able to observe and know but not to be a part of the world.

It sucks.

It's like I'm not even there! I'll make a comment, try to jump in on a conversation, but half the time I feel as if they aren't really listening. I know they're good people...I know I'm a good person...aren't I?

Or am I?

Maybe my problem is that I was born in an alternate dimension and brought to Earth to be raised by humans, before I return home and save the world from a diabolical sorcerer mastermind!

...yeah right.

It's weird, but I really only feel as if I can talk to you guys here on BZPower. I'm not a talker- I'm a listener. A thinker. A doodle-on-every-spare-scrap-of-paper-er, a reader, a writer, a daydreamer. But I'm not part of the circle. The trouble with circles is that they are round...unbroken...you don't open it up and let in a new segment, because there are no segments- just a never-ending curve.

My elementary school friends forgot about my existence, so I moved on to these guys. One moved; we still keep in touch, she's the most amazingly loveable person I've ever met. One betrayed me. The rest...I don't know. At lunch, when I get outside to the courtyard where we love to eat, they've settled at a table and the table is full. I sit on the pavement.

Is it my fault? Am I just socially inept? Am I such a loser that even the losers don't want to have anything to do with me? Or is it something bigger? Is this just a phase, or my imagination? And how many questions can one ask in a row?

Eh, this entry is depressing.

-Raia-