So 'tis the night before Christmas. Or maybe actually Christmas. Whateva'. Time is relative more often than not. Either way, CHRISTMAS.

Now, I actually really like Christmas because I am a huge dweeb. I mean seriously. I have minimal patience for those who would slander Santa Claus. What'd he ever do to you maaaaaan? If he sees you being bad, he might just give you coal. And seriously, do you know anyone who's seriously gotten nothing but coal in their stocking come Christmas? If like, the government sees you being bad, you get arrested and put into prison and who wants that?

It's the one day a year that most people agree to be civil, as opposed to the rest of the year, where incivility reigns. We talk rather seriously about peace on Earth like it can actually happen, rather than the usual "How can we make more and more deadly war?" that generally prevails amongst the people that are in charge of that sort of thing. Amongst families that are separated by the great distances that modern families tend to be, it's often the only day a year that they really see each other. If people celebrate only one holiday out of all the year, it's usually Christmas.

We all gather 'round as a family and watch dorky stop motion specials about evil wizards whose hearts get melted when a young Kris Kringle gives them the toy he always wanted as a child and the one day a year that "Hey there children, give me a kiss and a wish and I'll give you a present!" doesn't sound completely creepy. (It still sounds a bit creepy though.) It's the time of year that we have a ton of children's movies that are metaphors about the Cold War! We sing terrible songs that would've never passed for a decent song had it not been Christmas! Every year a bunch of indie folk people put out some album or another that tries once again to make Christmas cool for the hipsters! (This year it's Julian Koster of Neutral Milk Hotel who made an album with nothing but the singing saw, which might just be the creepiest instrument of all time.)

So to all of you, no matter who you may be, no matter what sort of deities you worship, should you worship any, I wish you a very merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, Saturnalia (*crazed pagan fist pump*), Yule, Winter Solstice, Festivus, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, etc, etc, and I toast to a joyous new year!

Cheers!