A Smart Person's Guide To Surviving A Horror Movie
Entry posted by Necro
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No importance other than #10 being the most important;
1. If you have a weapon of any type, use it on anything that moves, and don't stop using it until you reach civilization.
2. Never stop dramatically.
3. Don't just start running your mouth when you can in-theory blow the monster's brains against the wall.
4. Never go swimming once someone dies. Ever.
5. If you're college age, never talk for any amount of time longer than fifteen seconds.
6. Unload a clip of bullets into your car before you get into it assuming it's safe.
7. Never start talking to yourself.
8. If you really care about everyone else, never go in a group if you're the main character, because they'll just get killed to make your adrenaline go up along with the audience.
9. When in doubt, C4.
10. Once the monster seems dead, don't walk up to it slowly and prod the body. Unload a few more clips of ammo into it. Then throw sharp things at it. Then unload some more bullets into it. Then continue filling it with lead as you leave. Then burn down the building it's assumably in. Then burn down the forest it's assumably in. Then make an IED and use it there.
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